[seesaw]

I don't know why but motivating myself to do daily chores and keep my place clean is extremely difficult because of my depression. I let things get so disgustingly dirty before I pour myself into a daylong purge and clean of my place.

Like, I let trash build up all over the kitchen. I'm not a hoarder; I assure you, I have no problem letting go of things. But just taking the trash out or actually putting things in the trash and then taking it out when it's full, am I really this lazy?

I don't know that it's me being lazy; I am honestly too tired to bother putting trash in the trash instead of just putting it on the counter.

And then there's the dog hair and toys. My dog has black hair and I have a beige carpet. So it builds up quickly, piles of black hair in the corners. And I just don't feel motivated to vacuum regularly. I am too tired. Vacuuming takes too much energy, and I want a nap when I get home from a 9-10 hour work day.

Then my dogs inevitably tear up a toy and toy guts will be all over the living room, in addition to dog hair.

And then in my bedroom, my clothes pile up everywhere. I moved in this place 9 months ago, and I still haven't properly set up my head board and bed.

I am trying to set a timer and do 15-30 minutes of chores a day. But sometimes it's hard to find motivation to do that. I am just so exhausted all the time. I also try and set up some good habits, like cleaning up right after I cook or taking the trash out immediately when it's full. Or at least putting the bag by my front door so I will take it to the dumpster when I leave next.

I feel like I'm just whining and I'm just being lazy, but I work 50-60 hours a week and sometimes don't even get a full day off from work because of our events schedule. Every few weeks I do manage to pull it together and do a good scrubbing, but I wish I could manage to at least keep it presentable in between those cleaning sessions. To where I could invite a friend over and not be embarrassed.

Anyone else have problems keeping their place clean due to their depression?

Seesaw

[whisperingskye]

Yes definitely. I don't even work 50-60 hours a week, or have a whole place to clean. But I struggle all the same. I can not motivate myself at all. Most of the time I just think nope, I need a nap.

Once a week I make myself straighten up my room a bit, purely because my cat's litter tray is also in my room and I have to change it. Otherwise I wouldn't bother.

I don't have much advice, just wanted you to know you aren't alone

I can relate for sure. My place is a mess. My boyfriend also struggles with this unfortunately.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by whisperingskye

Yes definitely. I don't even work 50-60 hours a week, or have a whole place to clean. But I struggle all the same. I can not motivate myself at all. Most of the time I just think nope, I need a nap.

Once a week I make myself straighten up my room a bit, purely because my cat's litter tray is also in my room and I have to change it. Otherwise I wouldn't bother.

I don't have much advice, just wanted you to know you aren't alone

Thank you! That's mostly what I needed to hear. I went to a friend's apartment last weekend and she was like 'oh, it's messy ' and it was so clean, omg!

I just need to know I'm not alone.

I don't think that I'm naturally a messy person. As a child I was militant about cleaning my room. I always put my toys away and made my bed. As an adult I think the depression speaks for me when it comes to cleaning.

[whisperingskye]

Haha yes, I've never understood when people say "oh excuse the mess" and there is literally no mess.

Depression is exhausting and it's understandable we find it hard to keep on top of things.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, I understand even if no one else does

[BleakPeak]

I struggle too when I am having a bad depressive episode.

The Timer is a really good idea. I do the 20/10 method when I have a lot to clean up, so 20 mins cleaning 10 mins rest (repeat as many times as I can manage). Also I found the habit of making my bed every morning and doing the dishes before bed every night beneficial, doing just those two task even if I don't or can't do anything else in the day makes me feel like I accomplished something and thats a pretty good feeling on the rougher days.

Good luck, I hope things get easier for you soon

[Naynay99]

YES, YES, and YES....
I am terrible at keeping up with house type of chores and stuff when depressed. (probably when NOT depressed too, but not quite as bad...)

I think for me it is partly that when depressed I am triaging my life to get by. Just like paramedics do in the field, dealing with the most pressing concerns first (not breathing, gunshot wound) and leave the secondary injuries for last (broken bones, scrapes)....
So I do all of the things that absolutely HAVE to get done first, like going to work, paying bills.
And leave all that other stuff that SHOULD get done for later, like cleaning and laundry, if i have any energy left.

Also for me i think learned some bad coping behaviors, where i would let my place get absolute shxt while depressed and then take advantage of a mood up swing to clean the entire house and do all the chores i let go while down.

Plus, i have some issues with daily type tasks that you have to repeat over and over again. like mail. and cleaning. and dishes. etc.
its like it never stops. i am supposed to clean and straighten and do dishes et al and then DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN TOMORROW!!!

But. I have sort of accepted that i can be a slob. I don't encourage the unannounced drop in. So i try not to beat myself up for it too much. i think i assumed that negative critical self talk would somehow motivate me to actually do it. but all it does is result in a messy place AND feelings of crappy self worth. so while my way may be inefficient and i am sure if i didn't let it get so bad it wouldn't be so overwhelming, this is how I roll.
there are more important things in life than a spotless house anyhow...

but i can definitely relate.

[purple orchid]

I can really relate to this....
I feel like such a slob, I don't even work full time anymore and I still have trouble finding motivation to clean and tidy..
I like the timer idea, thanks for that idea, I'm definitely going to give it a go.
I find personally I make jobs out to be much more difficult than they really are, for example getting out the the vacuum cleaner and having a vacuum seems like such a huge chore but when I actually get up and do it I find it's over in 20 minutes. And I feel like I've accomplished something when it's done.
Please Don't be so hard on yourself, you are working long hours and coping with a dog, of course you will be tired after work everyone is.. and after all is a spotless house really that important or realistic?

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by purple orchid

I can really relate to this....
I feel like such a slob, I don't even work full time anymore and I still have trouble finding motivation to clean and tidy..
I like the timer idea, thanks for that idea, I'm definitely going to give it a go.
I find personally I make jobs out to be much more difficult than they really are, for example getting out the the vacuum cleaner and having a vacuum seems like such a huge chore but when I actually get up and do it I find it's over in 20 minutes. And I feel like I've accomplished something when it's done.
Please Don't be so hard on yourself, you are working long hours and coping with a dog, of course you will be tired after work everyone is.. and after all is a spotless house really that important or realistic?

Not, not spotless...I just don't want it to be so messy that I can't have a friend over to hang out.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by seesaw

Not, not spotless...I just don't want it to be so messy that I can't have a friend over to hang out.

I cannot thank you enough for the post. I think it must be the depression. I have it too.

When I did not have depression it didn't matter what I was doing I always had a neat and tidy home. When I was working and in graduate school full time with two pets and a kid I kept a 3 bedroom house with basement, garage and yard spotless. Only thing I remember is I left the used Christmas tree in the corner of the backyard until the summer. Cuz we had to take them to the city dump and I couldn't find the time.

Now I live alone in a studio, am not working or doing anything, and at the moment every single kitchen utensil/pot/dish is dirty. And I have a dishwasher! Clothes piled on every chair.

I hate it but this is not a normal time for me. I am trying to figure out how to survive. If I don't figure that out I will be homeless and then I will never have to worry about dishes.

I think the stress goes up when things get messy and you have a pet.

My heart goes out to you. You are really struggling to just stay above water.

Yes, I met a friend for lunch and may have asked them back to my place but it was messy. Can't remember that happening in...forever. But then I hate my place so I don't really care whether or not I am house proud. I need a job and a new place.

However --- having read your post I really want to clean up my place and keep it clean. It's not that hard once you get it clean. I also think it can seriously help the depression to fight back.

Because of your pet you have more work.

Go easy on yourself. At the same time if you got a system in place maybe it would help.

When I worked for that paltry one month this winter my place stayed neat because I was never home and never cooked. Gained weight on fast food. Jeez. It's a war.

[Smileonmyface]

I can relate to this. I have two big black dogs and two young kids and it's really a struggle to keep up. You're not alone. I too feel like when my mood gets a little better I clean a lot, then let it slide for a long time.

[DechanDawa]

After my divorce I was traumatized and felt I couldn't do a real job. So I got a job cleaning a four story Buddhist temple! I did it four hours a day top to bottom. Then on weekends went in and did bigger things like mopping the shrine room which was a whole floor.

When I did the bathrooms (I think there were 9 bathrooms!) I would look in the bathroom mirror and start crying. I would imagine my ex having sex with his new partner. Sick. I was a very sick woman and a cleaning demon.

The point is I was really depressed but I cleaned that freaking building every day until it shined. Which means we can amaze ourselves.

I also shoveled the snow outside. Well, partly I wanted to kill my ex for leaving me for a younger woman. So I think working and crying and cleaning the Buddhist Center saved me from murder. Everywhere I looked the Buddha was smiling at me from paintings and such. It was a very calming environment.

[ptangptang]

Don't beat yourself up. Working all those hours +depression is more than enough to not keep a tidy house. How well do your friends know you?. Sometimes it's easier cleaning someone else's place than it is your own. What if you spoke to your friends and said 'i'd like to have you over but the place is such a mess cos of work and my depression'. Then suggest that you'd help do a bit of cleaning at their place if they came and helped you. I guess you just need a nudge and someone to motivate you. You could make it a social event. Have a cleaning party haha.

[DechanDawa]

Or hire someone cheap. I did that once when my kid was small for about a year. It was weird. I would make the cleaning lady tea. Don't do that. Maybe a college kid or something. Yeah. If I was working all those hours I would do that. And maybe also get paper plates. Anything, anything to make it easier on yourself. ptangptang is right. Please don't beat yourself up.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by BleakPeak

I struggle too when I am having a bad depressive episode.

The Timer is a really good idea. I do the 20/10 method when I have a lot to clean up, so 20 mins cleaning 10 mins rest (repeat as many times as I can manage). Also I found the habit of making my bed every morning and doing the dishes before bed every night beneficial, doing just those two task even if I don't or can't do anything else in the day makes me feel like I accomplished something and thats a pretty good feeling on the rougher days.

Good luck, I hope things get easier for you soon

I love the 20/10 idea. I think I've been doing that naturally.

[seesaw]

Honestly, I think I just need to work on building better habits. Like three easy things that would make a huge difference: taking the trash out when it's full (and putting stuff in the trash); vacuuming once a week; and putting dishes in the dishwasher and actually running it.

Like, how hard can those three things be? Seriously?

And then I would feel so much better that they are done. Yes, my place would still be messy, but at least it would be livable and I could invite friends over.

Seesaw

[SgtRock]

My apartment looks like a disaster zone. I should apply for superfund cleanup status. It's been months since I mucked the place out.

[DechanDawa]

Let's all clean house!

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

Or hire someone cheap. I did that once when my kid was small for about a year. It was weird. I would make the cleaning lady tea. Don't do that. Maybe a college kid or something. Yeah. If I was working all those hours I would do that. And maybe also get paper plates. Anything, anything to make it easier on yourself. ptangptang is right. Please don't beat yourself up.

My problem is that I would let the paper plates stack up on the counter instead of putting them in the trash!!!

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by seesaw

My problem is that I would let the paper plates stack up on the counter instead of putting them in the trash!!!

My kinda gal.

[seesaw]

Thank you all for chiming in and making me feel not so alone.

My last roommate and I, we were friends before we were roommates for awhile, was totally OCD **** about cleaning. I mean, I literally thought she should see a T because of it. And that did not mesh well with my depression and exhaustion. I tried my best to help with chores, but she always complained I didn't do them right. And, then, I would plan on doing stuff on Saturdays, like cleaning, and she wouldn't wait for me to do it on the weekend, had to do it during the week, so she blamed me a lot for not cleaning, but she would never give me a chance.

But again, this was her being totally OCD about cleaning, not just like it's the weekend, let's clean house, but like all the time. Our friendship ended because of it. Even if I made a mess, she literally would not give me even time to clean it up. No matter what I did or how fast I tried to do it, it wasn't good enough for her. She was HORRIBLE.

It's not that I'm a naturally messy person. In fact, when I feel well, I like things to be totally straightened up and put away, but the depression makes it so hard to care, when I only have so much energy for so many things. Also, I would say that I've matured to being a little messy as an adult, but not the slob I am because of depression.

Anyways, I got lots of chores done last night. I think the vacuuming may still have to wait until tomorrow, but I'll get closer to ground zero tonight. And at least I feel like someone could come over now and I wouldn't be TOTALLY embarrassed.

I have these pet odor candles that are really awesome too, and those help. LOLZ.

[graystreet]

I have the same issue, and I thought it was just me. I certainly don't work 50-60 hours/week, but I work 12 hours/day and when I get home, all I want to do is sleep. And on my days off, I'm recovering from the work week both mentally and physically. I think that depression is just the icing on top of that cake. I know that my mind would be in a better state if my place were cleaner--I hate clutter--but while I have at least a little motivation, I don't have much energy.

[seesaw]

So, on the other hand, now I've straightened up my house, and now that it's half way there and not all the way clean, I can't sleep...and also, for some reason, when all the clutter is cleaned up, I can't sleep. Why is that?

[Onward2wards]

What I'm finding helpful, is asking myself "is this going to be a royal pain tomorrow if I don't handle it today?" (yes!!) and figuring out what daily habits I need and how long they are going to take. Then I make a checklist, knowing roughly how much time I need to commit to it, and practice going down the list daily until the habit begins to stick. If I feel completely unmotivated, I again ask myself "How am I going to feel tomorrow if I blow it off? How will I feel if I just get it done consistently?"

[seesaw]

Well, update: I've just tried to do a few chores the past few days in a row, and my place is actually starting to look presentable. Sure it's not perfect, but it's good enough, you know? I feel comfortable with my friend coming over tomorrow evening now.

I even vacuumed and did the dishes! The two things I hate most in the world!!!!

I think this, just do it for 15 minutes trick is working for me.

Seesaw