[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

I do.
A lot lately.

I know logically, that's not truth...but somehow most times, that thought keeps me quiet. Doesn't matter what problem or reason for celebration I may have. Once that thought comes... I go quiet.

Then I spend a few minutes, maybe an hour or so dwelling on "why doesn't anyone care about me?" Usually decide on one or two non-sensical reasons. Then a bit later - I think "what was I thinking? People care - but I don't allow them the chance to respond"

Sometimes I forget to remind myself people get busy at times, or may be considering how to respond, or may have gotten distracted. There are of course times people are selfish and would rather "not be bothered", but I think mostly, people care...just that I want to see or hear it immediately, and not wait.

Generally that happens to me when I am going through high anxiety or high depression. It's hard for me to open up during those times - so when I do, every second it takes to get a response increases the amount of invalidation I feel.

I wonder if there is a way to incorporate what I know logically into the things I think when I am in a high state of depression or anxiety. Maybe that would help me most if I could bridge that gap...

[Fuzzybear]

This is an insightful post and an interesting question. I can't speak for others but I care (I think many here care)

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

This is an insightful post and an interesting question. I can't speak for others but I care (I think many here care)

Thank you, Fuzzybear ❤

I care about you too! ❤

[Onward2wards]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

I wonder if there is a way to incorporate what I know logically into the things I think when I am in a high state of depression or anxiety. Maybe that would help me most if I could bridge that gap...

Bingo. I'm working on the same thing currently.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Onward2wards

Bingo. I'm working on the same thing currently.

It sucks that I never had a counselor or anybody point it out ... and just now had to figure it out... after close to 30yrs of all this crap. At least now maybe I can figure it out...maybe.

I hope you do too.
❤

[Sunflower123]

Generally that happens to me when I am going through high anxiety or high depression. It's hard for me to open up during those times - so when I do, every second it takes to get a response increases the amount of invalidation I feel.

I wonder if there is a way to incorporate what I know logically into the things I think when I am in a high state of depression or anxiety. Maybe that would help me most if I could bridge that gap...[/QUOTE]

Excellent post. At times I feel like nobody cares and it feels painful and lonely. Still working on feeling and accepting love when I'm in an anxious or depressed state.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Generally that happens to me when I am going through high anxiety or high depression. It's hard for me to open up during those times - so when I do, every second it takes to get a response increases the amount of invalidation I feel.

I wonder if there is a way to incorporate what I know logically into the things I think when I am in a high state of depression or anxiety. Maybe that would help me most if I could bridge that gap...

Excellent post. At times I feel like nobody cares and it feels painful and lonely. Still working on feeling and accepting love when I'm in an anxious or depressed state.

[/QUOTE]

Thank you for the compliment.
I agree it does feel painful and lonely when that thought comes up. Maybe one day we can find our answers and help each other

I've been feeling like this a lot lately.

All I see are people living their happy little lives while I remain an outcast. Nobody really does care about me at this time and even if they do, they wouldn't care if I died tomorrow.

All I am worth to people is a cheap piece of entertainment because all I ever am good at when it comes to socializing is entertaining people with my weirdness. Being socially awkward sucks when you have such a strong craving for human contact, yet you can't get anybody close to you because of how weird or creepy people see you as.

Since I'm not good enough for other people, my only option is to focus solely on doing something with my life that's valuable to other people, that way, people finally accept me. This desire is the only thing that keeps me from ending it all.

Still though, part of me hopes I die in my sleep tonight,

I hate life and I hate these judgemental humans who can't accept me for who I am. I hate these people who can't show me some compassion when I need it the most.

I curse them all.

[music-mum]

I think many times, that people are too busy living their life to really care.

[subtle lights]

This is an interesting subject. I'm having similar issues, and sometimes I think that when in those states of depression/ anxiety (and anger which I have a lot repressed) I just don't let people close. It's almost impossible to feel the caring because I'm waliking around with a "go away you can't understand me anyway" note on my forehead. In the same time I hope they will come and stay with me and listen and understand.
I'm not sure logic works when in high anxiety mode. Maybe what helps is to be aware that we are in a very reactive mode where we push people away because it is more possible for them to hurt us then to help us.

I think people do reflect back my attitude towards them so when I keep them away but still want them close in the same time, it seems to me that people only care from a distance.
Which is how I feel lately.

Sometimes I open up to people and it helps for a while, some care and that feels great for a while (some don't and then it's horrible to feel the invalidation). Or maybe both care, just they don't know how to show it? Some people learned to "care" by saying "others have it worse" or "it's nothing to feel bad about"....Unfortunately myself included.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

I've been feeling like this a lot lately.

All I see are people living their happy little lives while I remain an outcast. Nobody really does care about me at this time and even if they do, they wouldn't care if I died tomorrow.

All I am worth to people is a cheap piece of entertainment because all I ever am good at when it comes to socializing is entertaining people with my weirdness. Being socially awkward sucks when you have such a strong craving for human contact, yet you can't get anybody close to you because of how weird or creepy people see you as.

Since I'm not good enough for other people, my only option is to focus solely on doing something with my life that's valuable to other people, that way, people finally accept me. This desire is the only thing that keeps me from ending it all.

Still though, part of me hopes I die in my sleep tonight,

I hate life and I hate these judgemental humans who can't accept me for who I am. I hate these people who can't show me some compassion when I need it the most.

I curse them all.

I wish there was a way I could make sure none of us ever had to feel this way. It's just cruel tricks of the mind and so unfair to anyone that feels it - including you, Darkness.

I care about you, even in the short time since we met - and yes, it would bother me if I received notification of your death. Social awkwardness - I think I made an artform out of it from high school on, so I understand how the looks and jeers can hurt. I don't know if I did "the right thing" but I just started doing what I enjoyed and tried not to pay any of the cruel people any attention. Sometimes I got a few friends that way, sometimes not. Best thing I learned, I only learned a couple years ago. That was that you can only control yourself - not others, and I needed to stop feeling guilt for their actions.

In other words - if someone treats you badly and then says "well you aren't worth it anyway, why should i do better" or similar...you have nothing to feel bad about. They do. They treated you bad. They insulted you. If you decide to feel bad, you are taking ownership of their guilt. Instead - go on being proud of who you are. Decide what you want to be and do because its what you want - not because someone else is causing you to feel you need to. Once I started doing that, it helped me a lot. It was hard to start doing though and as you can see - I am still not all the way there! I hope you will be able to find peace without death soon
❤

[scatterbrained04]

I feel like that all the time when I'm very depressed. But when I am, I also don't usually tell anyone I feel that way. So it's all assumption. My family has no idea how much I struggle.

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

It sucks that I never had a counselor or anybody point it out ... and just now had to figure it out... after close to 30yrs of all this crap. At least now maybe I can figure it out...maybe.

I hope you do too.
❤

I also think this a lot. I am not around many ppl, except my husband, and he always has a project to do most of the day, then he goes in his room, and my brother that lives with us drinks most of the day, so I am not wanting to talk with him much, and never about anything that is important, or about anything about myself. My councilor said that I could call her anytime, but that isn't true, I have tried. I am thankful for this site, bc I can talk on here, just not face to face.

I don't think logic even exists in a super depressed state. When I have one of my better days...stuff makes sense. I can talk to myself logically.

When I'm in a black hole, I can't hear anything. Not a damn thing.

[Fuzzybear]

Many care, I care



But sometimes, this world is mad

[mctone]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

I do.
A lot lately.

I know logically, that's not truth...but somehow most times, that thought keeps me quiet. Doesn't matter what problem or reason for celebration I may have. Once that thought comes... I go quiet.

Then I spend a few minutes, maybe an hour or so dwelling on "why doesn't anyone care about me?" Usually decide on one or two non-sensical reasons. Then a bit later - I think "what was I thinking? People care - but I don't allow them the chance to respond"

Sometimes I forget to remind myself people get busy at times, or may be considering how to respond, or may have gotten distracted. There are of course times people are selfish and would rather "not be bothered", but I think mostly, people care...just that I want to see or hear it immediately, and not wait.

Generally that happens to me when I am going through high anxiety or high depression. It's hard for me to open up during those times - so when I do, every second it takes to get a response increases the amount of invalidation I feel.

I wonder if there is a way to incorporate what I know logically into the things I think when I am in a high state of depression or anxiety. Maybe that would help me most if I could bridge that gap...

#1 - I care you know that.
#2 - I completely know how you feel. There are times when I get really depressed, and I just want to fold up into myself. I don't want to be around anyone else, and no matter what's going on around me, I can't be happy. I don't think logically during those times, I find it hard to think about anything other than being sad.

The thing that seems to help me when I'm feeling like that is when someone reaches out to me, just to say 'hi'. Something as simple as that means a lot to me when I'm really down. And having someone take the time to listen to me ramble about what I'm feeling helps a lot too. I guess we all need to feel like there's someone, somewhere, that cares about us, and that doesn't judge us for how we feel. That's hard to find in this world. There are so many people in this world who are just selfish, just out for what they can get, and with no feelings for who may get stepped on while they climb up one more notch on their make-believe ladder of life.

I'm grateful for people like you, who will take the time to listen, and give of themselves - friendship, compassion, kindness. People like you are a rarity in this world.

[mctone]

Originally Posted by subtle lights

This is an interesting subject. I'm having similar issues, and sometimes I think that when in those states of depression/ anxiety (and anger which I have a lot repressed) I just don't let people close. It's almost impossible to feel the caring because I'm waliking around with a "go away you can't understand me anyway" note on my forehead. In the same time I hope they will come and stay with me and listen and understand.
I'm not sure logic works when in high anxiety mode. Maybe what helps is to be aware that we are in a very reactive mode where we push people away because it is more possible for them to hurt us then to help us.

That's such a great description - we want to ball up in our own little ball and close the rest of the world out - and at the same time, we want someone to reach out and just be there, to listen with understanding (not judgment), to care with real compassion... If you ever figure this thing out, please let me in on it!

[Anonymous37919]

I'm really bored, and I didn't even end up with a decent support worker, so that's annoying me too. He's gone now. But it's just bad how the agency you need help from don't provide competent aides to do a good job.