[whisperingskye]

It doesn't seem to matter what I do or how I am, I just never seem to fit in with anyone. I'm always that awkward one who is on the outside, longing to be included but feeling ignored.

I don't know what I do wrong. I don't get what is so wrong with me. I hate it. It's such a lonely place. I just don't know how to be liked... it's depressing.

[Accessory]

I'm feeling the same way as you right now. Don't think of that feeling as a reflection of who you are as a person; think of it as your mental health that's stopping you from being who you really are or who you really want to be. In your situation (and mine) it's best to know there's people out there in the same situation as you, to keep a positive mindset, and to know that things will get better. Keep pushing on day by day and slowly reach out of your comfort zone. Good luck.

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by whisperingskye

It doesn't seem to matter what I do or how I am, I just never seem to fit in with anyone. I'm always that awkward one who is on the outside, longing to be included but feeling ignored.


I don't know what I do wrong. I don't get what is so wrong with me. I hate it. It's such a lonely place. I just don't know how to be liked... it's depressing.

I have suffered from these same emotions all my life, as long as i can remember.
I have learned to lower my expectations of people.

[Apollite]

I've always felt like this, online and in real life too.

I'm on a few other mental health forums and although they are pleasant and friendly places, I haven't managed to connect with anyone. Although I'm not being ignored, I don't think anybody truly likes me, it just seems like they tolerate me. There are lots of cliques and people will often engage in banter that excludes others, but at the same time, I really don't think that it's meant in a bad way. Those people have managed to develop a rapport with one another which means they'll be more inclined to talk amongst themselves.

Feeling unwanted is incredibly difficult to deal with, especially if we don't know what's "wrong" with us, if anything. I think that some people, even if they have issues, just seamlessly blend into their environments without thinking or doing much. I wish I knew what their secret was! Maybe they possess a natural charm or are simply more relatable; perhaps it's just luck? Sometimes we look in the wrong places and it's hard to know where to go from there.

I like to think that I'll one day finally find my place somewhere, and I hope you do too

[ArcheM]

Ditto. Although I've begun to secretly suspect that I have Aspergers. I kind of wish I had been diagnosed with at least something in school, and my parents and teachers would have stopped shoving me into groups I didn't fit. Nothing came out of it aside from social anxiety. There were groups I did fit - they have always consisted of 2-3 people maximum (including myself)... But nope, I had to be socialized into clubs and classes, until I'm a complete hermit...

I don't know what this rant is about. I guess, maybe that if you're still young it might be useful to treat these problems more seriously, rather than dismissing them as shyness and awkwardness (this refers to parents' attitude, of course), and talk seriously about it with parents (as a child), although that would have been difficult for me since my group has never really managed to encompass my parents that well.

[East17]

Originally Posted by whisperingskye

It doesn't seem to matter what I do or how I am, I just never seem to fit in with anyone. I'm always that awkward one who is on the outside, longing to be included but feeling ignored.

I don't know what I do wrong. I don't get what is so wrong with me. I hate it. It's such a lonely place. I just don't know how to be liked... it's depressing.

Can relate completely to this. 'On the outside looking in' is how I describe it.
It is a lonely place to be, but I think there are a lot of us who feel similarly.
It can be a symptom of depression, in that the depression lies to us, tells us we aren't worth knowing; or it could simply be that you are a naturally shy and reserved person, and there is nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you either.

(((hugs whisperingskye)))

[Bill3]

[MickeyCheeky]

I can relate a lot to what you say It's so hard to fit in.. always the "weird" one

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Accessory

I'm feeling the same way as you right now. Don't think of that feeling as a reflection of who you are as a person; think of it as your mental health that's stopping you from being who you really are or who you really want to be. In your situation (and mine) it's best to know there's people out there in the same situation as you, to keep a positive mindset, and to know that things will get better. Keep pushing on day by day and slowly reach out of your comfort zone. Good luck.

I think Accessory has made some good points here. I empathize with what you're saying. I've been there. I feel like an outsider many places. I think it's my low esteem and fear of rejection. It's tough. I'm sorry you're having a tough time with this. It will get better. Sending big hugs.

[Shazerac]

Feeling unwanted and an outsider and being depressed always me think about the chicken and the egg conundrum. Am I feeling unwanted because I'm depressed? Or am I feeling depressed because I'm unwanted. I don't know the answer.

I'm 62 years old now. I've never fit in except for a bad crowd that was doing me harm. Left that nonsense behind decades ago. Ive felt lonely all my life. But I have gradually come to accept that this is just who I am. I'm not a go with the crowd type of person. I never fit into cliques. I don't know how to reach out to people to make friends. I feel like the mouse in the corner.

You are not alone feeling unwanted. All I can say is it's not true.

[Fuzzybear]

[CepheidVariable]

Originally Posted by whisperingskye

It doesn't seem to matter what I do or how I am, I just never seem to fit in with anyone. I'm always that awkward one who is on the outside, longing to be included but feeling ignored.

I don't know what I do wrong. I don't get what is so wrong with me. I hate it. It's such a lonely place. I just don't know how to be liked... it's depressing.

I feel like this too, and I hear this so many times. For supposedly "social" creatures, humans seem to be awful at socializing too often. I'm sorry.

[CepheidVariable]

Originally Posted by Apollite

I'm on a few other mental health forums and although they are pleasant and friendly places, I haven't managed to connect with anyone. Although I'm not being ignored, I don't think anybody truly likes me, it just seems like they tolerate me.

Even amongst "regular" folks, true connection seems rare -- at least from what I can tell on what feels like the other side of the glass.

There are lots of cliques and people will often engage in banter that excludes others, but at the same time, I really don't think that it's meant in a bad way. Those people have managed to develop a rapport with one another which means they'll be more inclined to talk amongst themselves.

I agree.

I like to think many people are often having just as much difficulty striking up a conversation with someone less known as those of us trying to join in. That's probably even more so with some of the difficult topics and hurting people here. So they often respond more readily to those they have already managed to have conversations with.

Feeling unwanted is incredibly difficult to deal with, especially if we don't know what's "wrong" with us, if anything.

Oh yes, the not knowing is the worst part. If we knew what, we could try and do something about the specifics.

I mean, all the advice out there is about the basics. I can do the basics in real life (on a good day). People usually say to me "Nice to meet you.", "I enjoyed chatting with you." and that's it. There is no advice beyond the basics because everyone is different. It's just assumed that eventually you'll meet someone you connect with and it will happen. Except it doesn't. And so you keep wondering: what's wrong? And what can I do about it?

Originally Posted by Shazerac

Feeling unwanted and an outsider and being depressed always me think about the chicken and the egg conundrum. Am I feeling unwanted because I'm depressed? Or am I feeling depressed because I'm unwanted. I don't know the answer.

I think those two feed into each other and perpetuate the problem. In my case it all started a long time ago with shyness, social anxiety and low self-esteem.