[Rose76]

Not too good. I've slept most of the day and feel sleepy now. I did get enough sleep by now. But this serms like the classic case of depression leading to lassitude leading to laziness.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Laziness seems a harsh word. Just a bit out of practice, maybe?

Very hot outside and it's getting to me. At work a co worker came to ask me how I did a new reporting system for work orders. He noticed that I had completed one for myself. In all honesty, I was successful in it but I don't know how I did it. It's a weird kind of thing. He needed help and I wanted to help him but I couldn't because I didn't have something to work with to show him. He seemed kind of frustrated, I guess. It's a weird kind of new thing to work with. I felt like such a twit after that.

I didn't work out today for two reasons. One - very hot. Two - I had some funny feeling pains on my two sides just above the hip area. They were not consistent. Only when I bend a certain way. So I didn't want to aggravate it by working out. At least I hope it's just muscular and not internal. I worry so much about cancer and stuff.

I took a bike ride instead of working out. It seemed like there were spots of cooler air. But I felt like crap for skipping the workout. I felt like I had wimped out.

[Rose76]

I'm not doing well. I'm doing awful. I think, if I could just start cleaning up the house, I might get a grip.

[Rose76]

I was thinking of going over to the psych hospital, but I did that last week. They were pretty unimpressed with my problems. Not that I tried to make them sound impressive. I didn't. I offered no drama. I could have a lot worse problems than the ones I got.

It's pretty bad, though. How I got this bad, this fast . . . . ?

You never know when something you never expected is going to hit you. Plus, something I was handling fine suddenly got awful hard to handle.

[nikon]

Rose76 - let us know how the day goes. x
sending strength to everyone having a s--t day

my day has been ok so far. had blood taken for routine tests that I needed done, checked in with my twelve-step sponsor. today is my no work day. with my eating disorder I'm struggling with body checking. last night I woke up in the early hours of the morning and was having really vivid dreams.

still need to meditate today, and I'd kind of like to bake something....

[regretful]

Getting up, going through the motions, and just doing the best that I can...I sincerely wish all of you at least a moment's peace today.

Being hurt by "beautiful human beings"

[Rose76]

Stayed awake all night on purpose. Afraid to sleep because waking up after sleep is when I feel the worst.

But now I'm really tired. Sleep . . . maybe.

[PsychNitrous]

Rough morning. T called with a cancellation today, so I was able to see her. Talked about my distorted thinking and how much I focus on the negatives. I'm still having a hard time challenging that, especially right now. But at least I was able to express my feelings about not wanting to be here anymore without her misinterpreting.

[regretful]

Second check-in on this roller-coaster of a day...tears, anxieties (maybe I'm checking in on the wrong forum), relief, and overall exhaustion. Still holding on...Thanks for the "thanks" and the "hugs". Believe it or not, both are meaningful.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by regretful

Second check-in on this roller-coaster of a day...tears, anxieties (maybe I'm checking in on the wrong forum), relief, and overall exhaustion. Still holding on...Thanks for the "thanks" and the "hugs". Believe it or not, both are meaningful.

I feel for you. The moments of peace you wish us always make my muscles relax. Sorry the day was a rollercoaster. Holding on. Very important. We're with you.

[regretful]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

I feel for you. The moments of peace you wish us always make my muscles relax. Sorry the day was a rollercoaster. Holding on. Very important. We're with you.

Happy to help, even more happy to know that I'm not alone...Thanks.

[Sunflower123]

Really missing my daughter today. Glad she’s coming home Saturday after rowing practice.

Sending hugs to all who are struggling.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

Being hurt by "beautiful human beings"

Very sorry, Visiting. Are you hanging in there?

I feel inadequate. my mind can't grasp. I can handle my parents but not my life. I'm just their machine.

[losthiker]

Been a rough day for me. Had a day off and all I wanted to do is sleep. Wish I could get better.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by losthiker

Been a rough day for me. Had a day off and all I wanted to do is sleep. Wish I could get better.

I’m sorry you’ve had a rough day. I hope you feel better soon.

[Rose76]

The day actually wasn't awful. So I'm considerably better. Now if I can just sustain this.

Feeling pretty down tonight. I should be happy that tomorrow is Friday and the weekend is about here. I feel like I'm not crazy about my job anymore and my friend. I get the feeling that he and I may be splitting up soon. He's all that I got, so it's going to be hard to get a replacement.

I'm not coping and I am ashamed of how I've been handling things. Things haven't been this bad since my last bad problem period. I feel disconnected. Maybe things aren't so bad? I can try again. Maybe I don't know when to quit. Maybe I should be more selective about things, but I don't know my criteria, or I don't stick to it. Regardless, I tried something new and maybe I always have to fail the first time. And my mind is just not there. I should have known my mental health would take a down turn. Looking back there was a huge problem that I didn't notice, just walked through.

I'm pointless. I don't care about anything. Something was ruined for me.

[nikon]

I feel restless and anxious and jittery today. I had emailed my therapist with things I need to talk about and got a reply, and that's just made the things more real, and now I really don't want to talk about them. some are symptoms that are half-worrying that I don't want to address because that will make them more real. now my mind is just compulsively playing and replaying horrible memories, conversations, potential conversations etc. I have meditated a bit but it was difficult. also having a minor health freakout which i'm 90% sure is just my anxiety - got a funny thing that suddenly appeared on my chest and my anxiety convinces me it's cancer or something.

I guess the symptoms I'm not wanting to talk about are getting kind of inhibiting, because just typing this stuff I'm getting nervous that people I know are going to be trying to monitor my internet usage and they'll be able to find this stuff if I post anything beyond vague descriptions. and I can see that that's the kind of paranoid thought people have, but it still feels like a real anxiety.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Love to everyone above. We're still here!

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by nikon

I feel restless and anxious and jittery today. I had emailed my therapist with things I need to talk about and got a reply, and that's just made the things more real, and now I really don't want to talk about them. some are symptoms that are half-worrying that I don't want to address because that will make them more real. now my mind is just compulsively playing and replaying horrible memories, conversations, potential conversations etc. I have meditated a bit but it was difficult. also having a minor health freakout which i'm 90% sure is just my anxiety - got a funny thing that suddenly appeared on my chest and my anxiety convinces me it's cancer or something.

I guess the symptoms I'm not wanting to talk about are getting kind of inhibiting, because just typing this stuff I'm getting nervous that people I know are going to be trying to monitor my internet usage and they'll be able to find this stuff if I post anything beyond vague descriptions. and I can see that that's the kind of paranoid thought people have, but it still feels like a real anxiety.

Sorry the hear you're struggling. I don't think anyone will read this, Nikon, or recognise you if they did.

Your t will understand if you're not ready to talk about whatever it is.

Big hugs.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by emptynightmare

I'm not coping and I am ashamed of how I've been handling things. Things haven't been this bad since my last bad problem period. I feel disconnected. Maybe things aren't so bad? I can try again. Maybe I don't know when to quit. Maybe I should be more selective about things, but I don't know my criteria, or I don't stick to it. Regardless, I tried something new and maybe I always have to fail the first time. And my mind is just not there. I should have known my mental health would take a down turn. Looking back there was a huge problem that I didn't notice, just walked through.

I'm pointless. I don't care about anything. Something was ruined for me.

You're not pointless. That's tough, the problems with your family. Sending you the very best.