Woke up feeling depressed. I didn't sleep well last night. I was very down yesterday because I made a terrible mistake that I couldn't believe I did. I got very scared about myself.

It's very early in the day yet. I hope that this will be a good day. Normally I always get depressed by the end of the day.

[Deilla]

Feeling hopeful today. Been busy picking up things around my house. Trying to get dressed. I want to deal with my car today and call AAA for a jump start. I will try.

Originally Posted by will19

Woke up feeling depressed. I didn't sleep well last night. I was very down yesterday because I made a terrible mistake that I couldn't believe I did. I got very scared about myself.

It's very early in the day yet. I hope that this will be a good day. Normally I always get depressed by the end of the day.

I think it will be a beautiful day!

[Aemulus2058]

I've had a pretty bad week to be honest. My grandfather passed away last week and the wake and funeral were on Sunday and Monday. Thanksgiving was sad; there are now four people missing from the family.

But last night, I think I had a visitation dream. In my dream, I saw my grandparents (finally reunited), my cousin, and my aunt. They each had their own part in my dream and each one reassured me in their own ways. My grandmother told me to "take care of your mom for me". My grandfather smiled at me. My aunt held my hand and said, "thank you", and my cousin just smiled and played Barbies with me (something we used to do when she came over). It seemed so real. My whole day has been kind of a blur because my dream was so vivid. It wasn't the first visitation dream I've had, but this one was so powerful. I feel so much peace and some strong emotion I can't pinpoint. I'm hoping this will help with my grieving.

Also, I started taking Viibryd last week. I just switched to 20 mg and am experiencing a lot of side effects, but I've been told they'll go away soon enough.

[Rose76]

I am not coping well, even with little things.

[Albatross2008]

Feel like I'm about to blow.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Arbie

Feel like I'm about to blow.

Do you want to talk about it?

[Rose76]

I have to change something in my life.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I have to change something in my life.

Any idea what that may be?

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by Aemulus2058

I've had a pretty bad week to be honest. My grandfather passed away last week and the wake and funeral were on Sunday and Monday. Thanksgiving was sad; there are now four people missing from the family.

But last night, I think I had a visitation dream. In my dream, I saw my grandparents (finally reunited), my cousin, and my aunt. They each had their own part in my dream and each one reassured me in their own ways. My grandmother told me to "take care of your mom for me". My grandfather smiled at me. My aunt held my hand and said, "thank you", and my cousin just smiled and played Barbies with me (something we used to do when she came over). It seemed so real. My whole day has been kind of a blur because my dream was so vivid. It wasn't the first visitation dream I've had, but this one was so powerful. I feel so much peace and some strong emotion I can't pinpoint. I'm hoping this will help with my grieving.

Also, I started taking Viibryd last week. I just switched to 20 mg and am experiencing a lot of side effects, but I've been told they'll go away soon enough.

So sorry to hear that

[Albatross2008]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Do you want to talk about it?

Thank you. I vented most of it here in the rant thread in the coffee house. I don't know if there is a solution. I'm getting no real cooperation. My husband, he'll bend over backwards to help with something he thinks is important. But if something matters only to me, and not to him, then it doesn't matter. Which means he won't give it the slightest bit of attention. I can scream and scream and scream, and he's not going to hear me.

I do feel like leaving. I can't stand living like this anymore. But I'm not physically strong enough to leave, either, so I guess I'm stuck.

Typical Saturday today. Felt like I had a lot of time on my hands even though I was cleaning and shopping. I called my sister this morning and she did a pretty good job of cheering me up. It was because I felt so bad about myself from what happened yesterday. I'm pretty much over it now. My sister was recovering from a cold. It was very good that she was able to talk to me because lots of times when I call her, she's busy. I don't reach out to call her because I have a fear of rejection.

I'll be going on my bike ride pretty soon. It's very nice outside and not hot like it was in the past few days.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Arbie

Thank you. I vented most of it here in the rant thread in the coffee house. I don't know if there is a solution. I'm getting no real cooperation. My husband, he'll bend over backwards to help with something he thinks is important. But if something matters only to me, and not to him, then it doesn't matter. Which means he won't give it the slightest bit of attention. I can scream and scream and scream, and he's not going to hear me.

I do feel like leaving. I can't stand living like this anymore. But I'm not physically strong enough to leave, either, so I guess I'm stuck.

I understand how you feel now that I read your rant thread. I don’t know what the solution would be either right off hand. Having said that, we’re here when you need to vent or need support.

Originally Posted by Arbie

Thank you. I vented most of it here in the rant thread in the coffee house. I don't know if there is a solution. I'm getting no real cooperation. My husband, he'll bend over backwards to help with something he thinks is important. But if something matters only to me, and not to him, then it doesn't matter. Which means he won't give it the slightest bit of attention. I can scream and scream and scream, and he's not going to hear me.

I do feel like leaving. I can't stand living like this anymore. But I'm not physically strong enough to leave, either, so I guess I'm stuck.

(((hugs))) and (((love)))

I had a weird dream last night. I was floating around my room but the light was on, my room was dark. Some creepy stuff happened. Then I saw a book and felt my dad. The book contained letters that I could see but couldn't read. I had a sense that this book was from when he was a lot younger. I'm feeling better today and feeling hopeful.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by happycheeks

I had a weird dream last night. I was floating around my room but the light was on, my room was dark. Some creepy stuff happened. Then I saw a book and felt my dad. The book contained letters that I could see but couldn't read. I had a sense that this book was from when he was a lot younger. I'm feeling better today and feeling hopeful.

According to a site I go to to analyze dreams, this is actually a good dream. It shows that something happened which triggered some memory from your childhood. Previously you had been isolating yourself but now you have started becoming aware of the truth and thus are starting to accept things as they really are and are willing to make changes and see things differently.

Sensing your father there represents protection.

So - it shows you are going through a positive phase of healing.

*hugs*

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

According to a site I go to to analyze dreams, this is actually a good dream. It shows that something happened which triggered some memory from your childhood. Previously you had been isolating yourself but now you have started becoming aware of the truth and thus are starting to accept things as they really are and are willing to make changes and see things differently.

Sensing your father there represents protection.

So - it shows you are going through a positive phase of healing.

*hugs*

Thank you I do feel healing, so it's true.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by happycheeks

Thank you I do feel healing, so it's true.

You're welcome - and I'm glad it is a true analysis

[sky457]

Mom has gone after me 4 times in the past 4 days. Things range from as simple as needing to check a suitcase onto the flight and her getting angry because she didn’t want to wait for me to do it.

I do not participate. Sometimes I am afraid of sleeping. I feel vaguely unwell. I've been experiencing random waves of shame. I have been unproductive too. My mind is very busy but also not. I often feel immortal, maybe because I assume I'll die by suicide before my body gives up on me. I don't treat it very well. Also I don't know how to ask questions but I need help with everything. And yet I don't. I'm fine.

Forbes 30 Under 30. What am I doing, wasting my life like this? I am a depressed, anhedonic hedonist. Depression ties me to duty and humanity. I really believe I'd turn into a successful douchebag without all this. Maybe I'm already a jerk though. I am very tired and unhappy.

Originally Posted by emptynightmare

I do not participate. Sometimes I am afraid of sleeping. I feel vaguely unwell. I've been experiencing random waves of shame. I have been unproductive too. My mind is very busy but also not. I often feel immortal, maybe because I assume I'll die by suicide before my body gives up on me. I don't treat it very well. Also I don't know how to ask questions but I need help with everything. And yet I don't. I'm fine.

Forbes 30 Under 30. What am I doing, wasting my life like this? I am a depressed, anhedonic hedonist. Depression ties me to duty and humanity. I really believe I'd turn into a successful douchebag without all this. Maybe I'm already a jerk though. I am very tired and unhappy.

[nikon]

Originally Posted by sky457

Mom has gone after me 4 times in the past 4 days. Things range from as simple as needing to check a suitcase onto the flight and her getting angry because she didn’t want to wait for me to do it.

that's hard to deal with

[nikon]

i was offline yesterday and maybe the day before, i think. for the past five days i've been feeling pretty good. last night i watched some violent stuff, which is a bad idea for me - it leads me into watching porn and that is an addictive behaviour that i struggle with. i felt guilty today and this morning i felt extremely anxious. i have calmed down now but don't feel as good as i have previously. i feel fat and uncomfortable in my body, anxious about random stuff - like a freckle i'm suddenly freaking out about (cancer?) and exams i might have to write two years from now - and have that sense of impending doom.

part of it is that i am really nervous about crashing down after this good patch. for the first time in ages i have actually been able to finish an assigment and other work ahead of time and properly. other weeks i write a whole lot of rubbish or don't even finish things.

[Verity81]

Feeling low, very low. Keep thinking I’m a bad mother and I’m no good for my baby and stepdaughter.
Husband is being very loving today, I’m so lucky in that respect.

[katydid777]

Good morning everyone. Friday morning our Son, and Grace flew back to Maryland, and I all ready miss them. It will be at least another year before we see Robert again, and we have no idea when we will see Grace. Yesterday I did all my running around, but I forgot a few things, like I always do. Tomorrow morning I have to go to the infusion center to have some medication infusion. After that I will stop at Walmart and pick up the things I missed. I am very nervous about tomorrow. I think today will be a long day.