It's coming... It's on it's way...

I feel it approaching. Reasons for it are not yet understood but, I feel it coming on, my lower neck, my shoulders and upper arms. A mild tickly itch almost.
The stress has been soothed a little here and there but, over all it has been intensifying underneath and I'm already having negative thoughts. Thoughts that I wont tell you about because they are too heavy for most to handle I would think. By tonight I will be down for the count and can't say how long I will stay down but, sometimes it just happens without warning. It's like a dark storm cloud growing over me and there is no escape.
I just wanted to be heard is all. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. Sigh...

Thanks, man. I appreciate that.

I'm always here my friend. Message anytime you need.

Hey... I'm really sorry that things seem headed in the direction they are. Can I put in a word for you saying anything you care to on here? Include warnings as necessary but I think being able to voice what's taboo elsewhere is an important part of what goes on here (while respecting the guidelines, but those really don't need to restrict us). I know I have at many times literally not been able to voice certain things to another human being at all--for fear of burdening them, being misunderstood, or getting thrown into the hospital--and that's just crazier than anything I actually had to say. I just want to encourage you to say anything you need to if it might be helpful at all. Hoping for the best for you ...

Good post

Thank you all. TheSadGirl talked to me about it that evening until I felt better. She's a caring, compassionate friend and a great listener.

Any time my friend.

I just registered because I feel like sometimes I've exhausted all my friend resources. And, like you, people don't want to hear my real thoughts when the darkness comes. It scares them. I understand I really do, but when I pour out my darkest thoughts, the fear that if I experience one more night like last night, that it will become my last night, then it becomes more about the pain I'm causing them.

So I get it. Sometimes you just have to throw it out there into the ether to people who don't know you. Who if they saw you walking down the street wouldn't know what you feeling. But on here they do. You are free to be who you are. You can say things like "my brain is broken" without people saying "no, it's not! stop saying things like that."

At least I hope this is a place like this.

I'm sorry it's coming. I wish I knew how to stop it.

You are in the right place. Any time you need to talk, post here or feel free to pm me. You are not alone.

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better now.

Thanks for all of the replies and kind words.

Hope you’re feeling better. Sending big hugs.