This won't be a shock...........

I feel insecure, bullied, not stable in the slightest and sick of my bloody life..... there it's out.

I would like to get away, live on my own, not be told what to do or what to think and not have to put up with moods from a weak man..... yes I know only I can change that...... not so easy with kids though is it? I am sick of living with a martyr, sick of feeling old before my time and sick of hearing the way I am the bad one all the time.

I am doing my best.

wtf J xoxoxoxoxoxo

Yes, you are doing your best. I'm sorry your family are not able to give you the support you need.

Be gentle with yourself.

(((((((( jinnyann ))))))))))

(((((jinn-jinn))))) it seems so easy to kick someone when their down. and for a weak man, seeing you grow stronger may be threatening to him.

you are doing so great and making strides in your recovery. dont let anyone steal that strength and courage from you. you have fought too hard for it.

love you hunni
recluse1

((((((((((((((( jinny ))))))))))))))

i can imagine the relief you feel getting those words out jinny... never does us any good to lie or deny to ourselves what our true feelings are... and feelings aren't rules we have to follow, only acknowledge... and the "down" feelings sometimes over-ride the "good" feelings and take over for awhile but we find all our feelings are still in there... don't feel like you've made a decision because you announce a feeling... all you've done is announce a feeling... good for you...

You are right, all your aspirations are legitimate! Come on, go on your way!

((((Jinn))))) you have shown me so much support and I would like to do the same for you. Please know that I keep you in my prayers (yes I know no church) You are a kind individual and things will work themselves out (I think I read that somewhere) Just remember to keep your chin up.

thankyou so much, I wear my heart on my sleeve I suppose, better that than being a bloody robot like the person I live with. He only gets emotional when his football team score for Christs sake.

sorry, I do love him, he just tests my patience and emotions, it may seem like I paint him black most of the time, he doesn't mean to be like he is I'm sure, he is a good man really, doesn't beat me or the kids, he takes them places and works nights to keep us going, he hates his job.

I'm just struggling with lack of emotion on his part right now.

Jin x