I've lost all ambition.

SledgeDedge12 · Jan 14, 2018, 05:32 AM

I have no goals, no hopes or dreams, no ambitions, and nothing to look forward to in the long run. I am just existing. Day by day I exist and nothing more. There are little pleasures here and there, and maybe little events with family or other little pleasures in the near future I might look forward to, but that's really it. My life is mostly social isolation attached with existential dread. I ignore the future ahead and its consequences because now is now, tomorrow will bring it's own worries, even though I know that tomorrow may be worse. But I feel that there is no future for me. I am what I am. That is all that I am. Existence. Suicide would end that. Should I stop existing? Or should I keep trudging through my meaningless life?

MickeyCheeky · Jan 14, 2018, 06:02 AM

I can relate to your thoughts.. it's really hard to decide what one has to do with his own life...

Teddy Bear · Jan 14, 2018, 07:50 AM

Sometimes I feel that way but I try to find something to look forward to even if it's my favorite 🍪

Crookedspin · Jan 14, 2018, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SledgeDedge12

I have no goals, no hopes or dreams, no ambitions, and nothing to look forward to in the long run. I am just existing. Day by day I exist and nothing more. There are little pleasures here and there, and maybe little events with family or other little pleasures in the near future I might look forward to, but that's really it. My life is mostly social isolation attached with existential dread. I ignore the future ahead and its consequences because now is now, tomorrow will bring it's own worries, even though I know that tomorrow may be worse. But I feel that there is no future for me. I am what I am. That is all that I am. Existence. Suicide would end that. Should I stop existing? Or should I keep trudging through my meaningless life?

I feel this way nearly all the time. I do "do things" to some extent, but they ultimately feel empty and I return to the feeling you describe. I don't know how to quell that feeling and I've been trying for so long--I'm so scared about continuing to feel this way now well into middle age. I always thought I'd "turn a corner" or something and that just doesn't seem to be something to reasonably count on any more. I understand how "stopping existing" can make so much sense (and more sense than other options). I get resentful when others--meaning well--deny the legitimacy of that viewpoint. Just sharing some thoughts, and empathizing... I hope that things change for the better for you (and for me) but also how that hope can seem flimsy and foolish...

Fuzzybear · Jan 14, 2018, 11:06 AM

I can relate to the “loss of ambition”

I too “do things” to some extent. If only that was the “answer”. (If it was so simple

) It isn’t.

Existential dread ..

I empathise

Ds9fan74205 · Jan 14, 2018, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SledgeDedge12

I have no goals, no hopes or dreams, no ambitions, and nothing to look forward to in the long run. I am just existing. Day by day I exist and nothing more. There are little pleasures here and there, and maybe little events with family or other little pleasures in the near future I might look forward to, but that's really it. My life is mostly social isolation attached with existential dread. I ignore the future ahead and its consequences because now is now, tomorrow will bring it's own worries, even though I know that tomorrow may be worse. But I feel that there is no future for me. I am what I am. That is all that I am. Existence. Suicide would end that. Should I stop existing? Or should I keep trudging through my meaningless life?

Hi.
Just wanted you to know that I feel 100% the same. I am so very alone. I have a friend/friends that come to see me here and there but I absolutely do not feel like it's done out of love, caring, or friendship. It feels more like they do it out of guilt of some kind, and I neither want nor need their pity. I too use the word exist. Because I'm not living in any way shape or form, I'm existing.
If I wasn't so terrified of what comes next I would absolutely leave this existence.
It saddens me terribly to know that you and others feel this horrible soul crushing way.

Jan 14, 2018, 07:34 PM

First of all, welcome aboard SD12. I hope that you will find this place to be helpful to you. I enjoy coming on here.

I probably have posted on here myself of what you've been saying. I consider myself as upper middle aged now. It seems like I'm just going along in a routine like clockwork. I feel very thankful for the good things I have, but there are times when I feel like I'm just existing.

I'm doing well with having a job and some pretty good money in the bank (not a whole lot, but enough). Socially, I am not doing well at all. I don't see that getting better anytime soon. I'm thankful right now for the great things that I have in my life, but I feel like the good things that I have left can be taken away from me. It would be like having the rug pulled out from under me.

So many people say to just get out of yourself and get busy. Do things. I do keep myself busy and can do things for others. It does not automatically make me feel better. For the time being it does, but that little bit of a good feeling that I get fades away quickly.

Ds9fan74205 · Jan 14, 2018, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by will19

First of all, welcome aboard SD12. I hope that you will find this place to be helpful to you. I enjoy coming on here.

I probably have posted on here myself of what you've been saying. I consider myself as upper middle aged now. It seems like I'm just going along in a routine like clockwork. I feel very thankful for the good things I have, but there are times when I feel like I'm just existing.

I'm doing well with having a job and some pretty good money in the bank (not a whole lot, but enough). Socially, I am not doing well at all. I don't see that getting better anytime soon. I'm thankful right now for the great things that I have in my life, but I feel like the good things that I have left can be taken away from me. It would be like having the rug pulled out from under me.

So many people say to just get out of yourself and get busy. Do things. I do keep myself busy and can do things for others. It does not automatically make me feel better. For the time being it does, but that little bit of a good feeling that I get fades away quickly.

Being disabled (due to a car accident.) with a messed up back(thankfully I can still walk although barely) and the accompanying pain is also taking it's toll. Having no vehicle to get away and therefore being stuck in this apartment, especially in winter doesn't help either.
There are days I'm in so much pain I can barely get to the bathroom much less do anything else.

FallDuskTrain · Jan 25, 2018, 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ds9fan74205

Being disabled (due to a car accident.) with a messed up back(thankfully I can still walk although barely) and the accompanying pain is also taking it's toll. Having no vehicle to get away and therefore being stuck in this apartment, especially in winter doesn't help either.
There are days I'm in so much pain I can barely get to the bathroom much less do anything else.

I am really very sorry.
I wish there was something I could do. Please keep on reaching out to us.

FallDuskTrain · Jan 25, 2018, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SledgeDedge12

I have no goals, no hopes or dreams, no ambitions, and nothing to look forward to in the long run. I am just existing. Day by day I exist and nothing more. There are little pleasures here and there, and maybe little events with family or other little pleasures in the near future I might look forward to, but that's really it. My life is mostly social isolation attached with existential dread. I ignore the future ahead and its consequences because now is now, tomorrow will bring it's own worries, even though I know that tomorrow may be worse. But I feel that there is no future for me. I am what I am. That is all that I am. Existence. Suicide would end that. Should I stop existing? Or should I keep trudging through my meaningless life?

I am very sorry.... I know how you feel; in fact, I had written smt similar last year.
I wish I had a solution for you. But I don’t.
We just have to keep on fighting and supporting each other.
Please continue sharing with us. It is really a nice community here.

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