[Rose76]

I feel like I've completely run out of gas. I don't feel sad. I just feel tired and completely uninterested in life in general. I think this is some new form of depression I'm coming down with. I don't have anxiety at the moment. Just the opposite. I feel like I couldn't care less about everything and anything.

I wonder if other people have experienced extreme apathy.

Funny thing is, past week or so, I felt full of deep concern. My s.o. is sick in the hospital. I had great anxiety Sunday over his condition. Now I feel calmed down from a lot of upset and negative feelings. Unfortunately, it's now like nothing hardly matters to me at all. His situation will resolve, one way or another. I'm not thinking about him right now. I'm just wondering how I keep from sliding down the drain.

I've just spent 7 hours doing next to nothing. I could have used that time in some way that would have made me feel good. It's like I don't think anything will matter. It feels like total laziness. It's like being lost in a day dream. If I had wine in the house, I would have enjoyed a glass. But I don't. And I couldn't be bothered going a few blocks away to get some. I sit in one spot and don't hardly move. For years, I've just been wasting my time.

Maybe if I take a Vicodin, I'll feel less disgusted.

Maybe it's finally time to change lifestyle. I have a riot in my head when in depressed and locked in my room....like now. I'm about to go outside and face the music for an outburst earlier today. However, my aim is to get off my face with oxy and weed. If I return and make no sense, well

Have fun

[MickeyCheeky]

Yes, depression can include apathy. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Perhaps when your SO will come back from the hospital you'll feel better? Idk :/

[FallDuskTrain]

Depression often includes being numb and being totally uninterested.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I feel like I've completely run out of gas. I don't feel sad. I just feel tired and completely uninterested in life in general. I think this is some new form of depression I'm coming down with. I don't have anxiety at the moment. Just the opposite. I feel like I couldn't care less about everything and anything.

I wonder if other people have experienced extreme apathy.

Funny thing is, past week or so, I felt full of deep concern. My s.o. is sick in the hospital. I had great anxiety Sunday over his condition. Now I feel calmed down from a lot of upset and negative feelings. Unfortunately, it's now like nothing hardly matters to me at all. His situation will resolve, one way or another. I'm not thinking about him right now. I'm just wondering how I keep from sliding down the drain.

I've just spent 7 hours doing next to nothing. I could have used that time in some way that would have made me feel good. It's like I don't think anything will matter. It feels like total laziness. It's like being lost in a day dream. If I had wine in the house, I would have enjoyed a glass. But I don't. And I couldn't be bothered going a few blocks away to get some. I sit in one spot and don't hardly move. For years, I've just been wasting my time.

Maybe if I take a Vicodin, I'll feel less disgusted.

Maybe you are tired out from when you were taking care of him at home. Now that he is in the hospital, you can properly crash. Maybe you need to be lazy a while. It's hard to recover from depression when we are stressed.....

[unaluna]

Uh-oh. You say this like its a bad thing, but you pretty much just described my entire life.

[tecomsin]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I feel like I've completely run out of gas. I don't feel sad. I just feel tired and completely uninterested in life in general. I think this is some new form of depression I'm coming down with. I don't have anxiety at the moment. Just the opposite. I feel like I couldn't care less about everything and anything.

I wonder if other people have experienced extreme apathy.

Funny thing is, past week or so, I felt full of deep concern. My s.o. is sick in the hospital. I had great anxiety Sunday over his condition. Now I feel calmed down from a lot of upset and negative feelings. Unfortunately, it's now like nothing hardly matters to me at all. His situation will resolve, one way or another. I'm not thinking about him right now. I'm just wondering how I keep from sliding down the drain.

I've just spent 7 hours doing next to nothing. I could have used that time in some way that would have made me feel good. It's like I don't think anything will matter. It feels like total laziness. It's like being lost in a day dream. If I had wine in the house, I would have enjoyed a glass. But I don't. And I couldn't be bothered going a few blocks away to get some. I sit in one spot and don't hardly move. For years, I've just been wasting my time.

Maybe if I take a Vicodin, I'll feel less disgusted.

Kind of interesting that I act in just about the same way as you "7 hours doing next to nothing..." but for slightly different reasons. I believe there are fundamentally different kinds of depression even though we use the same word to describe them all. I am also wondering how I keep from sliding down the drain.

I have a lot of anxiety, over a few topics, and the rest of life holds no interest. In particular I have no idea how to have fun anymore. That is a kind of apathy. I'm not globally apathetic because if I were then there would be no more anxiety.

So maybe apathy is a reaction to anxiety.

[Rose76]

It seems like you all do know what I'm talking about. Thanks for sharing that some of you know this first-hand.

If this were just me taking a break and relaxing after a lot of stress, that would be fine. I've been under a real lot of stress. But this is dysfunctional passivity. I know from experience that just vegetating and neglecting everything will only make my life worse. The house getting messiest will only make me more unhappy.

If I would just start taking care if business. But I'm doing nothing but diverting myself with my electronic devices. It's like I want to just slide down the pit and give up.

I wish I could sleep. I'm hungry. Nothing much on hand to eat.

Originally Posted by Rose76

It seems like you all do know what I'm talking about. Thanks for sharing that some of you know this first-hand.

If this were just me taking a break and relaxing after a lot of stress, that would be fine. I've been under a real lot of stress. But this is dysfunctional passivity. I know from experience that just vegetating and neglecting everything will only make my life worse. The house getting messiest will only make me more unhappy.

If I would just start taking care if business. But I'm doing nothing but diverting myself with my electronic devices. It's like I want to just slide down the pit and give up.

I wish I could sleep. I'm hungry. Nothing much on hand to eat.

Chinese take out? Salty but eating some protein can help you sleep better....

[Skeezyks]

Well... I have to say this sounds a lot like me as well. Personally I chalk it up to a combination of depression & old age. I spend the majority of my time on-line... much of it here on PC. And then, during the evenings, I typically watch TV with my wife because that's what she likes to do. We do have a dog we have to walk a couple of times a day since we have no yard for him to run in. There are other things I know I could be doing. But I just think... what's the point?

The problem with this sort of thing, of course, is that the more one does (or doesn't) do this... the less energy one has to do much of anything. It can become a downward spiral, so to speak. So I do make a point of not allowing myself to sink totally into oblivion. One of the things that is most helpful to me in this regard is to have a routine. I pretty-much do the same things day-in & day-out. I don't always do them at exactly the same time. But I do them. And having that routine of things I do every day, keeps me from just veg'ing out completely.

[Rose76]

Yes, Skeezyks, I desperately need some routine . . . some structure. My sleeping is so bizarre it's hard to plan a scedule. I keep waking up at night. Sometimes I can't go back to sleep.

A lot of this is lack of self-discipline . . . failure to commit to some kind of a daily plan.

I didn't know about protein helping with sleep. I've been eating crazy lately. Need more protein, less junk.

I'm better tonight though.

Thanks for the posts everyone.

[Patagonia]

I can sympathize too much with this type of depression Rose. For me, my depression is on a spectrum.
Some periods are so weepy sad & crying to sobbing. Overthinking the past & just wanting to be listened to.
Some periods are full of anger, hate & rage & im a miserable person which creates such self hate I banish myself into silence.

And my worst & longest ones are the periods of “I’m done.” I didn’t have these when I was younger so maybe it is age related. These r my deepest & worst times that can spiral for yrs & yrs...& they have.
I have what I call my “7hr sentence of silence” I deal with 5 days a wk. It is up to me what I do during this time....& I have spent some of those curled into a couch. It’s a horrible existence knowing I’ve let so much of my life glide thru my fingers. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s painful to know there’s others like me.
So sometimes I talk my way, in my head, to do enough to get my head to the pillow & wish for a break in tomorrow. Sometimes that helps.

I hope you keep posting & seeing the little positives.

[tecomsin]

Originally Posted by Patagonia

I can sympathize too much with this type of depression Rose. For me, my depression is on a spectrum.
Some periods are so weepy sad & crying to sobbing. Overthinking the past & just wanting to be listened to.
Some periods are full of anger, hate & rage & im a miserable person which creates such self hate I banish myself into silence.

And my worst & longest ones are the periods of “I’m done.” I didn’t have these when I was younger so maybe it is age related. These r my deepest & worst times that can spiral for yrs & yrs...& they have.
I have what I call my “7hr sentence of silence” I deal with 5 days a wk. It is up to me what I do during this time....& I have spent some of those curled into a couch. It’s a horrible existence knowing I’ve let so much of my life glide thru my fingers. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s painful to know there’s others like me.
So sometimes I talk my way, in my head, to do enough to get my head to the pillow & wish for a break in tomorrow. Sometimes that helps.

I hope you keep posting & seeing the little positives.

That's really beautiful, thank you.

[ptangptang]

Originally Posted by Rose76

Yes, Skeezyks, I desperately need some routine . . . some structure. My sleeping is so bizarre it's hard to plan a scedule. I keep waking up at night. Sometimes I can't go back to sleep.

A lot of this is lack of self-discipline . . . failure to commit to some kind of a daily plan.

I didn't know about protein helping with sleep. I've been eating crazy lately. Need more protein, less junk.

I'm better tonight though.

Thanks for the posts everyone.

Rouitine and habit are so important.

You need to be strict with yourself and just force yourself to get into good habits. Eat healthy food ( though don't be obsessive about it), go to bed at roughly the same time, try and get at least 6 hours sleep , Do some exercise every day, HIT is the current buzzword but do something. Once these routines become habit and fixed in your psyche you will feel a lot better.
I created structure in my life by going to the sports centre ( I now go 6 days a week).

[Rose76]

I absolutely need to get better habits of daily living. But today was a good day. I kept pretty busy and got stuff done that I feel good about.