whats wrong with me

I don't know what is going on with me? I'm not crying all the time or sad but I'm not happy either. I thought that maybe I am afraid to be happy because I'm afraid that if I let myself be happy than the bottom may fall out from under me. I'm use to being sad. Do you think that maybe that is why I'm not happy because I am so use to be sad? I don't think I'm making any sense. If someone understands please let me know.

Hello maymie,

Yes, I think I know what you mean. I have a fear of change and tend to think if something good happens that it won't last.

I dont know, if you have always been unhappy it's kind of like learning a new skill, allowing yourself to enjoy things.

I hope you have a good T to help you with this.

Take care.

Well I can tell you from experince that my depression caused me to keep moving. Much like a shark has to in order to stay alive. I felt that if I did not keep moving then I would hit rock bottom. In order to keep that from happening I started using negative unhealthy emotions, Anger really. So once I started working on my anger, I started to feel as if I was losing control. Then one day I lost complete control and fell deep into darkness. I spent three days in the hospital and once they started giving my my meds things started getting a little better. I am four months out of the hospital and I feel as if the whole world is different. I can see now that the blinders are gone and can think much clearer. I now feel like I don't have to keep moving and I am much more rational now. Emotions are a very tricky thing. I hope that you do much better. PM anytime.

Dragon