[motogypsy]

I really feel like I am lost or even "stuck" where I am in life. I've been at the same job for 3 years now and I used to LOVE it here, I still like what I do but the environment has become increasingly toxic. I've been to HR a couple times because my supervisor and manager are both verbally abusive as well as doing small spiteful things.

Example one is that my mother's house (my childhood home) recently burnt down, I left work early for that fact and my supervisor yelled at me that if it was so important just to go and said she was giving me a full point (normally leaving early only constitutes a half point) and I said it was fine this was important. When I came back she was aggressive towards me.

That's just one of many. I've been applying to other jobs but there really isn't much around here that pays equally or near what I currently make and since my fiancé just lost his job I'm the only income for now... I just feel so heartbroken at where I've came in life.

I used to go on adventures every weekend, to see new cities or new states or just taking pictures or riding and now it's like I'm too depressed and stressed all the time to do those things. I'm worried about my fiance because he is stressed as well because like I said, there isn't much around here.

I want to turn my life around, get out of debt (credit card I had to use for emergency situations) and live a simple life but I feel like I am drowning...

Any tips for turning your life around or making it better/more enjoyable?

[jeremiahgirl]

I shall pray for your needs

[paynful]

The thing to remember is to rest when you need to, but don't give up on life. Bumps in the road happen. It's normal to feel burdened by the stress. Situations always change. Jobs come and go.

It sounds like your supervisors are having a power trip combined with "misery loves company." I know it is difficult, but remember that YOU are not the problem. Keep your head down, do your job, and file complaints with your HR department. It falls under sexual harassment, specifically, making a hostile work environment.

No one can make you happy, but yourself. That applies to your fiancé. You can be there for someone to lean on, but only he or she can make changes for the better. Be their support and sounding board, but YOU are not responsible for the stress they are experiencing. If you have financial concerns, maybe search the internet for "free" activities in the area. Groupon is, also, very good for finding major discounts for local venues and "semi-local" getaways. ...Just an option.

If all else fails, you can volunteer. Helping people/animals who are less fortunate always seems to put your own life into perspective. (It feels good to be needed. Usually, the only thing that helps me get out of my funk is to be of service to others.)

Hope you can find some stress relief soon. **Hugs**

[Fuzzybear]

motogypsy

This sounds not good to live with. I think it is wise of you to stay with your job. It would have been much worse if you had quit and hoped to get a new job easily. Jobs do not grow on trees these days, so please continue to try to search for new ones, but do not allow disappointments for not getting a new one distort your emotions. If you can tell yourself that you are just an ordinary good person who just happens to work at a difficult workplace and that you are an ordinary clever person who understands that you have to wait for the new job chance, one month, three months, two years ...., you will install in yourself positive self expectations and that helps you to feel more self worth.

Try to use some humor: "I'm going to the beasts today again (laugh). I will not let them beat me. I will answer them in polite manner whatever they say and I will let my back and neck be straight."

The humor lifts your emotions and makes you ready for the day at work. To answer polite what ever they say and looking relaxed, will help you to feel better (like as you stand on your feet, while they don't).

Here is a video were you can learn a bit about body language. Train in front of a mirror until you master it. Remember it is not about how you feel, but about how you look and that that position signals self confidence. You can google 'body language' yourself if you need to learn more.

If you make a habit out of doing relaxation exercises regularly, it will be more easy for you to feel relaxed when you need it the most in difficult situations. I'll post relaxation exercises here and you can ofcourse google for such exercises yourself.

Hope this was at least a bit helpful!

Good luck with regard to managing your situation!

PS. If you after trying to adjust yourself to this difficult situation for a while and continues to feel miserable, please contact a therapist.

Originally Posted by paynful

It falls under sexual harassment, specifically, making a hostile work environment.

Where did motogypsy talk about sexual harassment? To be mocked at work is not sexual harassment if nobody touch the worker or say sexual words to the person.

You advice to complain to the HR department. I would say that that is last option after trying other things. I say this because if one has complained, the mocker can find new ways to mock. Some people are difficult and like to be one up one down ............

[motogypsy]

Thank you everyone for the kind words and advice. I truly appreciate it.

I have tried several routes over my time here, I've kept my head down, I do my job, I don't participate in the gossipy talks, I avoid negative situations as much as possible but in the end I had to go to HR on both times of these things happening. I have tried to just let things slide and have a positive attitude about it but it's just too much at this point.

I know some people have jobs they wake up and it doesn't cosume them with stress to go back to every single day for years, I just want to find a job like that. I've put in a large amount of "above and beyond" work here and when we got a new manager, I was put back down to basically him acting as if I was new. I'm not a person to quit a job (why I'm still here after everything that has happened) until I have another job and it's a sure thing. So I'm hanging in there.

However no, it was not sexual harrassment, I'm not sure what the confusion was with that one?