Rumination

I think if you really look at what it is you keep ruminating about the main theme has to do with lack of respect in each scenario. You have respected and cared about others and these others did not care and respect you back. Your own father did not really respect you either. Truth is you have wanted to be respected by this same kind of individual all your life only the problem with that is this kind of individual is simply not capable of giving that kind of respect. Doesn't matter if it's a boyfriend, your father, a kind of friend, a boss even in every thing you have vented and shared it was always the same kind of person who only cared about you for what you did for them and never had had the ability to respect the things "you" valued and needed and cared about. You have thought that just because someone loves music and to go to concerts that person will actually care about you, WRONG, all that means is that other person loves to go and listen to music and has fun, IT'S ABOUT WHAT THAT PERSON LIKES, not what you like understand? Like that guy that you said was fun and then you watched him stand in front of the mirror ADORING himself while you just sat alone as he was not adoring you now was he? NO, he wanted you to be a part of his own SELF ADMIRATION. Even that somewhat friend that made a pass at your new boyfriend, NOT A TRUE FRIEND, and never can be either, much too self interested to a point where she will just as soon take over your boyfriend even right in front of you as if you don't exist. Pretty much all your vents revolve around this same kind of person NEVER seeing you or appreciating or RESPECTING you.

If I sit and think about the theme in all my flashbacks and deep hurts, SAME THEME too golden_eye. Sadly, it's that way for a lot of people which is why so many struggle with trusting and relationships, be it with parents, friends, or a significant other or a coworker or boss or even a sibling.

When you had advised something in a job, "don't do that" you finally saw that you were right when a boss did not listen or respect your input. You learned you were right but the reality is no one will say that to you because these kind of people don't even KNOW how to respect even when someone is most worthy of respect.

It's sad that a person can have so much of this disrespect that they actually have to pay for someone to actually listen and show them respect via what we label "therapists". And even then there is no guarantee a person will get true consideration and respect but may even end up being misdiagnosed.

Yes, I believe you do ruminate as I have myself and the core of the challenge is most of the time "lack of respect" even when you deserved to be respected.

Many don’t show respect, I agree. For someone with PTSD, CPTSD etc it really isn’t as simple as any of the one liner type responses which really aren’t at all helpful. I think many of us receive too much of that crap irl. Or being blamed etc for our experience. Not helpful.. Especially for me as I can’t take the freakin meds to shut my brain off

Yes, I know what you mean. I think many of us do receive too much of it IRL. What's wrong with people??? As I always say. (((Fuzzybear))))

I say the same thing.. what’s wrong with so many people

((((( golden eve )))))

Yeah, it's almost shocking to me. Thanks for the hugs!

I've been having ruminating problems for most of my adult life. Lately is getting worse. In the past only Seroquel manage to stop the thoughts, but it's too drastically for me as a medication.

I didn't know there were meds for this? Sorry you suffer, too. Argh. I cannot take heavy meds either. I have to work.

I don't know if Seroquel was invented for ruminating. It's originally an antipsychotic that's used off lable for many other things (not always correctly). It worked for blocking my thoughts, but the side effects are not worth it for me to use it incidentally.

Me too. I can't make it stop, and yes it is a constant battle between my brain and my faith. My faith says none of it is true, but brain overtakes and I beat myself up over it, making the MDD worse, then the anxiety and stress kicks in. I wish I had advice, but I do get a little break when I get on this site, even if it is just for a little while to get my thoughts out.