Work situation came to a head

Thank you, Carmina.

Yes, it's not easy. But I'll do my best!

You're not alone, I think it's understandable to feel the way you do.

Sorry, I misunderstood previously but this makes much more sense now. You can only do what you can do and that in no way justifies them spending 2 hours telling you off.

Hope the job search is successful!

So what the heck do they need to spend 2 hours grilling you on? Sounds ridiculous.

I'm in the same boat. No matter how hard I try, I become overwhelmed and fall behind. No help to be seen, but other groups are flush with people. I lost my temper today, and I pray it doesn't cost me. I am so tired, and I don't how to handle my frustration any more. I am praying for you and for all of us here.

oh dear Purple, I am so sorry to hear this and I empathize enormously. I've been berated, yelled at and chewed out by a boss before, not for two hours though, but I do know the feeling. That is SO unprofessional and uncalled for. You don't deserve that..... I ended up in the hospital suicidal myself that very night it happened to me.... then I took four and a half months off due to my boss's persistent bullying that had occurred over the course of that year, all at my own financial expense.

yes, document and go higher up, regardless, think about your options.... if you absolutely need to quit, can you do temp work instead? Though I do advise finding a position before outright quitting. Quitting can cause financial hardship and stress if you must pay rent and pay bills, etc. But perhaps a staffing agency can help place you more quickly?

In the meantime, do whatever self-care is needed to maintain your sanity.... ((((((((Purple)))))) thinking of you!

[QUOTE=Carmina;6161334]So what the heck do they need to spend 2 hours grilling you on? Sounds ridiculous.[/QUOTE

Duty managers, and all employees here, have to make dozens of decisions every day, based on many factors.

It's subjective!

I don't work I'm a hospital, or pharmacy or school or something like that, where things are correct or incorrect.

Thanks, Carmina.

Thanks so much for your lovely message, Eve.

Yes, I'm job searching every day. I'll just keep chugging away until something comes up that makes me think, yes, I wouldn't mind doing that.

I'm still deciding whether to complain officially etc. I don't think I'd have enough evidence to win a case against her./ the company. But it's good to have that up my sleeve.

If she isn't nice to me from now on, I will threaten to complain. If she still carries on, I'll complain.

I am determined now to make my workplace a safe place. Probably by changing jobs. I'm just trying to take things one day at a time.

I've had a conversation with her boss. Just informally. We were working together, and I thought oh what the hell. I said what had happened, and made it clear that I am not happy, and that I would never let this woman talk to me like that again.

So, the company are being respectful to me at the moment. But I have zero faith in them, to be honest

Thanks, hp, I really appreciate your contribution.

Good luck to all of us.

Bad luck to evil bosses.

I held off replying to this thread, as it struck a little too close for comfort (I've had similar experiences). What I will say, is save money whenever possible, gather all the data needed for a good resume & maybe informally/discreetly scout for likely references. But if you reach a point where the situation starts to significantly affect your mental well being, it may be worth leaping then, if at all feasible.

Thanks for replying, Marvin. That's all great advice.

Sorry if you have had to go through this.

Thanks, Born. Sorry for the delay in replying. I didn't forget, I'm just a bit low in energy with everything that's going on.

Hope things are going a bit better for you.

I do feel better for having let people know I am not happy. Looking for other jobs at the same time helped a lot.

I studied Rohag's links to articles about bullying at work and it really encouraged me to think, No. I have had enough. This job is making me ill.

Best of luck to you.

Thanks again, dear Rohag.

Because of your links I now know that, although there isn't really an anti-bullying act in UK employment law, a lot of things can be covered by the anti-harassment at work part of the Equality Act.

Also, employers have to provide a workplace that is not detrimental to our health.

After the day of the two-hour telling off, I had an awful week, health-wise. Still awake at 3am some mornings. And having to get up for work at 6.50am.

Too much adrenalin in my system,a racing pulse, tight chest, no appetite, a poorly tummy etc. And that's aside from the dread of going back to that place every day, and the beating myself up for not being able to cope, and the mental anguish and despair.

I woke up one day feeling like I was going to have a heart attack.

Wow. Bullying at work is the worst.

Anyway, one good thing happened. A colleague has confirmed that their ongoing (chronic) illness is caused by stress at work! I've always known this, but the colleague is allowing me to mention it to our superiors. Which I already have.

Did I already say this earlier in the thread?

Apologies. I'm pretty tired.

Thanks again Rohag, and everyone, for your understanding and help.

Oh, Purple! I'm so sorry.

I've been away too long and missed all this. It's horrible the way they treat you. There's really no excuse.

Also, I know exactly what it's like to berate yourself for feeling like you should be coping better. And the anguish and despair that causes. It's not fair to ourselves. I know some of the other stuff surrounding this, and you've been put in a next to impossible situation. Would you really believe me if I told you you're being too hard on yourself? Not the rational part that says "yeah, of course". I mean in your heart. I usually can't. But I so dearly hope you can somewhat.


I'm concerned about your lack of sleep. I was in a state last year where I would be up until 3 or 4am until I could drop from fatigue. That was my lowest point. I'm reluctant to offer advice that hasn't been asked for, but I'd really try to deal with that first.

I know there are complications. Is there any way I can help with any of it?

Good -- I am glad to hear this.... I am glad you mentioned it and glad to hear they are being respectful atm. Makes sense that you have lost faith. I hope something good happens for you soon.

I’m sorry to hear this.
Sounds awful.

Thanks, Red Daisy.

It was miserable. She made me feel like nothing.

Thanks, Eve.

What's freed me up (and the reason I'm not suicidal) is that I was able to react by being honest and open about what's going on. I've told practically everyone at work.

In the past, I've tried to deal with these things alone.

Hanging out here with people like you has really helped.

I can see now that the issue of how 'over-sensitive' I am is not the point. The only thing that matters is finding a way to make my workplace safe.

And I am doing it!

Thanks, dear friend.

These sorts of people make me very very grrrrr. Shame on her for being so disrespectful . And abusive

It’s not you who is “over sensitive”

It’s her who is a jerk, putting it politely

Nobody “should” have to deal with this sort of crap alone

I’m glad you’ve told almost everyone at work.

Love to you dear purple

Ah Cep. The way you put it does make me realise how hard I am on myself.

I'm going to try and take your comment to heart, as you said.

Thank you.

Much love, dear friend!

Lots of love to you, wonderful friend.

Thanks for sharing your own pain at the hands of people who think 'sensitivity' is a dirty word.

Shame on them, for treating our beautiful bear that way

You do make me feel less alone. I'm really, really trying to stand my ground this time. As you know, work situations, where I feel trapped, are the hardest for me.

I want to crack this, once and for all.

That's too ambitious.

One day at a time, Purple!