I worked out yesterday and it went well. Just before the workout, I was feeling depressed and thinking, "why should I workout? What good will it do me?". But I did the workout and was glad that I did.

I went to the pool area last night and it was awful. There was a girl around 18 with her phone and on Skype (I guess). The talking and the noise was very annoying. Also I can see that guy she was talking to on the screen and he looked like a thug. I think that he even asked her who I was. I think that he could see me entering in the hot tub. It seems like the more the days go by, the more jerks I meet at where I live.

I called my friend at a time when he would call me. He didn't call because he was tired. I cut the phone call short because he sounded out of it. So I went to bed upset.

Today started off weird. At work my on-line account got disconnected. I found out it was because of a miscommunication between my contracting company and the main company. So that made me feel like I'm on a roll with one bad thing happening after another. Later in the afternoon it got resolved and it was a nice feeling for me. Today at work, it ended up being nice.

[TerryL]

my new co-worker asked about my background today. she is so nice i felt comfortable in telling her that i had been depressed for 18 yrs but have finally found peace and happiness. she was flabbergasted. she probably has never been depressed. i am kind of embarrassed i told her what i told her because now she will always see me in that framework but it was the truth.

Another messed up day. Never had sleep problems until people CHOSE to screw me. You can either choose to be nice or choose to screw someone else. Guess they had nothing better to do. Now I have LESS, much LESS, than I did before. The villains have MORE because they TOOK what I had on top of their already full basket.

I am trying to hold it together.

someone who I've known for... maybe 6 months now has suddenly decided she wants something diffrent in her life.

this means I don't get to see her and we were really close

I found out this morning and was devistated (I even cried)

[Deilla]

After 8 or 9 months of anxiety over getting out to get a hair cut, I finally get one today. But I'm so upset. It's not what I had hoped for. I keep going over and over what did I say wrong to the stylist. Why didn't she cut the sides? Why is it still so long? I'm crying over a hair cut. It meant a lot to me cause it was such a mess. At least it's a little bit better.

Originally Posted by Deilla

After 8 or 9 months of anxiety over getting out to get a hair cut, I finally get one today. But I'm so upset. It's not what I had hoped for. I keep going over and over what did I say wrong to the stylist. Why didn't she cut the sides? Why is it still so long? I'm crying over a hair cut. It meant a lot to me cause it was such a mess. At least it's a little bit better.

I want to reply to this because what a coincidence to me. I was supposed to get my hair cut and bailed out for the second time. I have a really hard time letting someone do my hair since the last one fried, yes FRIED it with highlights. I'm a stylist myself, but cant do my own long hair without difficulty. I understand. I've shed a tear or two, it's part of being a woman and our hair is kind of important to some of us. My suggestion, if you'd like, be very very clear with the stylist, although that doesn't always work. Pictures, point to where you want it cut, show by picking up your hair how much length you want cut off to them... but even then that last one really messed mine up.

I'm down and up part of the days. Feeling down tonight. Still not sleeping and wondering if cutting down my anxiety pills and depression pills is really worth this battle with little sleep.

[Deilla]

Feeling better this morning. I'm up early doing things around the house and playing my online game. I have a few more chores I want to work on and then I think I will relax for the rest of the day. I may try to cook. I'm really not sure.

got most things done I was going to do (with the acception of the reading and the creative writing)

feel okay.. just voices are a bit strong today and it isn't really helping me

Pretty busy in the morning. It seems like I'm getting faster with my housecleaning. This may be a very long afternoon and evening. It's raining outside and I don't know what to do with myself. I normally would take a bike ride pretty soon. Not today.

Also my email is down. They have me to enter in a numeric code and I have to go to another email to do that. It's at work and I'm not there today and tomorrow. So I guess I'll have to wait until Monday to get my personal emails. May not be much of a big deal since I don't get much in my email anyway.

[88Butterfly88]

Felt numb today

yesterday I struggled a lot with abandonment issues (it was due to that girl leaving recently). they were really bad and I ended up sitting their talking to myself about my funeral (which may or may not happen, I'm seriously thinking about not having one). I really don't think anyone would even turn up.

no sleep yesterday again- not even any traces of rest or tiredness

today I'd be quite happy to do "**** all". sit on a chair, look at the wall and think about my existance and what a mess it is

probably not going to get me anywhere though.. need to at least try to be productive.

It's early morning right now and so far it's starting off as upsetting. My friend called unexpectedly just after breakfast. He was telling me that he read an article about loneliness and how unhealthy it is. Well I've seen those kind of articles a hundred times at least! It's nice to be reminded on how loneliness can kill you. And then he went on about how difficult it is for me to have relationships. Well, there's plenty of time for the rest of the day. I hope it gets better.

I think I should listen to myself in the end. Advice can be good but doesn't mean it's right for me. I've got some confusing difficult situation going on but I'm glad I made this decision and I'm not all alone. I'd likely be dead if I was.

[88Butterfly88]

Feeling down today.

[Mountaindewed]

I can’t really tell if I’m depressed or not. I am functioning just fine. Things have been going slow at work. I’m not working as much since the holidays are over. I’m fine with working less. The days I do work It goes good. It’s just, when I’m off work I’m spending an awful amount of time just sitting in front of the TV. I binge watch crappy cable reality TV shows for hours. I’m not sure it’s healthy. But then I also feel like as long as I’m making it to work everytime I am supposed then my free time is my free time. I don’t know. I’m really tired right now. I’ve been up for almost 18 hours.

I slept at least 7 hours. Had to take a bit more of my antidepressant but I was glad to have slept. In the process of finding a place to live for myself and for my son to be on his own. I'm stressed because of our situation and how he is blaming me for it. I know I'm doing what I can but that isn't helping me feel better.

Was a slow day at work today. Not much of a feel good day. My leg is hurting. It's been hurting a little bit for the last three weeks or so, but today it's hurting more. And I got my result from a blood test that I had last week and it didn't turn out the way I wanted it.

It seems like people are in bad moods today. Kind of hard to deal with when having depression; and especially when they are that way when I'm reaching out.

[T4bbyCat]

Can't seem to shake the feeling of impending doom, like imminent job loss, a health catastrophe, and even natural disasters (we're overdue for the Big One quake here). But chances are it will be something I never anticipated, as typically in the past...

certainly not a feel good week, but not a bad week either.

just inbetween. could feel a lot better but also a lot worse

this week is going so fast.

I can't believe that we're all ready on wednesday

Another slow day at work. I got some nice help from someone to straighten out a problem that I had with my G-mail account. I've been able to get my G-mail at work but not at home. I got help from someone and the help was so easy, I could have done it myself.

For now I've decided not to workout today. My knee has been bothering me. It has been bothering me for the last two to three weeks. The last couple of days is at it's worst. Maybe it will get better in a couple of days if I give it a little rest. I feel so bad about not working out.

[mountainstream]

I’m depressed and anxious.

[Fuzzybear]

I’m grrrrrrrrr. And where has everyone gone. Hope all is well....

[Deilla]

I have a medical appointment today. Appointments are hard for me. This one especially so. It's a new place. I don't want to go. I'm afraid they'll make me come back. It's for physical therapy. I just want to learn the exercises and do everything at home. I don't like leaving my house. My doctor doesn't seem to understand. She thinks it's no big deal.

Originally Posted by Deilla

I have a medical appointment today. Appointments are hard for me. This one especially so. It's a new place. I don't want to go. I'm afraid they'll make me come back. It's for physical therapy. I just want to learn the exercises and do everything at home. I don't like leaving my house. My doctor doesn't seem to understand. She thinks it's no big deal.

I'm sure you'll be fine.

let us know how it goes