Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Hey all above me... I am really sorry you feel that way. its a sh*tty feeling. Especially that Santa comment... seriously? F you. How about empathy you as*hole?

thank you hun for the post.

how are you doing today?

hope you're okay

[Mountaindewed]

It’s no different then the past 9 years. The SAD always seems to get terrible on the 27th-28th of December. With the end of Christmas. My family has gone back home. I go back to work tomorrow. The weather sucks. I’m hanging in there. I’m going to start weightlifting and exercising.

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

It’s no different then the past 9 years. The SAD always seems to get terrible on the 27th-28th of December. With the end of Christmas. My family has gone back home. I go back to work tomorrow. The weather sucks. I’m hanging in there. I’m going to start weightlifting and exercising.

I hate the space between christmas and new year (27th, 28th, 29th,)

somehow it feels like normal, regular depression, but worse

I don't know

I feel so "average"

in a bad way

what a boring, regular, no good start to friday. it may as well be sunday

[Turtle_Rider]

I feel so low and worn out.

In these past three years, New Year has come with bad news and awful experiences. I admit this year isn't as awful as last year though.

Lately I feel so disconnected with everyone I know, in both real life and online even in PC. I admit it's because my lack of social interest.

I'm tired of faking smiles and attitude. I want to open my mask, but unfortunately I have to keep it for another year or maybe forever.

I felt very tired this morning and didn't feel like going to work. For some strange reason it seems like the sun is rising later in the mornings. I thought it would rise earlier now that it's beyond the shortest days.

For me I don't like that period between Christmas & New Years either because it feels like the summer ilks make a comeback at where I live. It gets noisy outside and bad people come to the pool area. But so far not much of it probably because it's cold outside. If only it was warm it would be bad at where I live now. Also I'm weighing heavy about the possibility of moving from my place in about a couple of months from now.

In the last couple of days at work, it had been very busy in the mornings much to my surprise. I thought it was going to be nice and easy.

[Mountaindewed]

Work sucked. I didn’t get yelled at by anyone though. My managers were fine. My coworkers were fine. The customers didn’t ask me anything. So nothing went wrong. I’m guessing it’s just my depression again. I’m hanging in there though.

It was very slow at work for most of the day. However, at the 11 AM hour, there was a lot going on. One of the security guards called me and said that there was a big truck delivering. I was like, "oh no"! because of running out of space to put things. So a pallet of boxes came and I broke it down. While I was doing that, the guard called me again saying that there was another big truck coming. I just lost it emotionally, but I felt bad that I lost it with the guard. I was overwhelmed.

After work, I felt very depressed and alone. I worked out and felt better, even though I had a bum leg. Had a fairly nice dinner and the pool area was nice. Very cold outside, but it seemed right for me.

[Rose76]

Woke up at 2 a.m. after sleeping only 2 hours. Still awake. Crying.

managed to get shopping yesterday (and a lot more besides)

mostly a good trip so that's good

no sleep last night so blah

I'm not doing anything today but I'm feeling okay

it's amazing how idiots think I'm going to be doing good when they have taken everything from my life and left me with virtually nothing. IDK, how would THEY feel??? Funny, they never ask themselves that.

In the middle of doing my usual Saturday housework. I'm having coffee right now for a break. Feeling depressed this morning. I may feel worse later on today when all of my activities are over. Very cold outside, but not that bad. Very dry also. For some strange reason I tend to get depressed on sunny cold days. Not as much when it's cloudy.

Last night, when talking to my friend, he mentioned that he needed a clock radio. I told him I had some extra ones I don't use. He messaged me this morning saying that he wanted to check out what I have. Which might have meant that he would come over here. But it would be with his wife, I guess. Before I replied back to him, I checked around and then I didn't have an extra clock radio at all. So I wrote back to tell him that. I don't think he's disappointed because he and wife can look for one.

[Rose76]

Well, over the course of Saturday, I improved a lot.

This morning my bf heard me explain to his adult daughter that I can't take his being so snippy, critical and irritable with me so much of the time. I told her I might have to put him in a nursing home for a few weeks to give me a break. I asked her to call him and tell him that this is a real possibility and that he'ld be wise to start acting nicer.

She never did get to calling him, yet, but me talking to her made an impression on him. I don't complain about him to his kids, unless I'm absolutely at my wit's end. It's been a few years since I last called them about him being miserable to me. So he actually did get on his best behavior all day to day.

Well, I'm amazed at how my morale improved, as the day wore on. I guess he actually does know what behavior and type of comments of his get me crazy, and he put a check on that stuff. He actually does know how to be nice and was able to keep it up for the whole day. This really has opened my eyes.

I see now that I am very affected by the tone he takes. Being talked to in a crabby way repeatedly gets me very depressed. I get so demoralized by being snarled at. Then I snarl back. Then we each raise our voices trying to out-do each other. Then I become a wreck. And it's not evenly both our faults. I can be trying so hard, and he'll say something snippy that is uncalled for. Then I get so awfully discouraged.

This morning started rough, but he improved after he heard me tell his daughter I can't take how he's treating me. The big question is whether he will backslide tomorrow.

I thanked him tonight and asked him to think about how nice our day went, once he changed his tune.

Somehow I've got to be serious about not accepting a return to the sniping. I see now how badly affected I am by it and how greatly I improve when he turns that stuff off.

[Deilla]

Having a productive day. It feels nice to get something done. Will try to relax too.

[LifelongLoner]

Did I get a flu shot? Yes. Did I still get the flu? Yes. That's 2 years in a row now. They say that is in such cases, you will not get it as bad and that appears to be true as it seems to be mostly over by the third day. But the 2 days that I had it were awful. And I seem to have pulled a chest (diaphragm) muscle from all the coughing and hiccups. My stomach is still not settled but at least I can taste food again and have resumed eating. Should I go to work tomorrow or should I take a sick day to make sure I get over it?

Originally Posted by LifelongLoner

Did I get a flu shot? Yes. Did I still get the flu? Yes. That's 2 years in a row now. They say that is in such cases, you will not get it as bad and that appears to be true as it seems to be mostly over by the third day. But the 2 days that I had it were awful. And I seem to have pulled a chest (diaphragm) muscle from all the coughing and hiccups. My stomach is still not settled but at least I can taste food again and have resumed eating. Should I go to work tomorrow or should I take a sick day to make sure I get over it?

Sorry to hear about all of this. I would definitely take a sick day if I were you. I prefer someone to be sick to stay home rather than being at work with me.

[LifelongLoner]

Originally Posted by will19

Sorry to hear about all of this. I would definitely take a sick day if I were you. I prefer someone to be sick to stay home rather than being at work with me.

Thanks. I called in sick. I do not want a relapse and do not want to spread it to my co-workers. (Though, I think I got it from the guy in the next cubicle.)

The only place I could safely complain. What an end to this year. Cracked a tooth, son caused an extreme ruckus, things are just beyond my understanding right now, how someone is expected to go through these things. I know others suffer too, but that doesn't make me feel better at all.

Happy New year, I hope someone gets a good one out there.

I don't know if I've ever had such a down ending to a year. I feel I need to vent, even more. I have health concerns. The doctor called today and confirmed some things but I'm not sure about others. I'm actually a bit hopeful for an ending to my health, my life, a diagnosis of something terminal. I don't think God will let me off that easy. It sure would solve this, I no longer think I fear death. I am almost welcoming it, except I'd be concerned for my younger. I don't know how to help him anymore. Thanks to anyone who reads and cares. All of us humans suffer in some way or another, I may be feeling lots of pity for myself which is wrong, but I'm so tired of trying and ending up in the same place. Everyone seems out for themselves only. I know it's not true though.

Went to work today. I wished that I had taken the day off. The day went alright, but not many people there. A couple of things at the end of the day didn't make it happy for me. A copier at work needed ink and I didn't have it on hand. So the copier may not work for a while. People are going to be upset. It's my responsibility to have the ink on hand. And I forgot to call a carrier to tell him that there were no packages to go out. I was upset with myself when I forgot to call him.

I worked out after work. It's a cold, windy, and rainy night tonight. I hope it rains hard around midnight tonight so that there wouldn't be any noise.

[T4bbyCat]

It's a bit frosty here, strangely enough for this land of dreary gray, rain and fog. Nonetheless, I wish a happy New Year to all seeking solutions and answers. I need something at this point to keep me going, and I'm reasonably certain many others are in this boat.

A cold and windy day here, but it's sunny and not a cloud in the sky. It's going to be very cold tonight. Did the laundry this morning. It was very nice that no one else was in the laundry room. After I finished doing the laundry, I called my friend and there was no answer. I find that strange. He called me about an hour ago. I told him that I would call him after folding the laundry and we'd get together. He never mentioned going anywhere this morning. I hope he's alright. He's very old. Sometimes he doesn't hear the phone. It would be nice to have him visit me, but that seems to be out of the question. I'm not crazy about going to visit his place. At least he's not alone.

Yesterday, it turned out that my friend had just did some small shopping. He didn't tell me that he was going out. At noon yesterday I went to see him. We had lunch, it was my birthday. He and his wife went to the store earlier to give me a small gift and a cake. That was nice of them.

I didn't sleep well last night. My neighbors were making a lot of noise when I wanted to sleep. I woke up this morning not feeling like going to work. But I did. It was busy today. I'm feeling like my anxiety and depression that I had struggled with has come back. I guess I always feel that way about a week or so after New Years Day.

I'm feeling sad

today my chest of drawers got crushed- because they are broken, so it's like the natural thing to happen, but bleh....

I can't stand losing things or getting rid of things

I'm the type of person who would keep out of date crisps in the house just because the packaet is still full

I don't know... I'll be fine, just sad

I think today I'll concoct a scheme to mentally destroy someone, just for the heck of it. I'll solicit his friends, colleagues, family, strangers, everyone I can persuade with my CHARM and fantastic CHARISMA to join me. I will prove how great a human being I am by destroying someone else. I will prove how powerful I am, and everyone will worship me and bow down to me. These are the words of a coward and sick individual.

I am mortified thanks to all the willing participants. Don't ask me how I'm doing.