Physician, Heal Thyself

Ah, well, I never can be a doctor of medicine. You see, I have various symptoms of disorders of the nervous system which include nerve damage in my arms and feet as well as disorganized speech. I am also a bit child like and it's a fact even if I turn out to be an astonishingly smart neuropsychiatrist, the patient will laugh at my advice, after seeing stitches on my forehead (indicating I have gone through lobotomy... anything can happen, ya know.) Not to mention I wouldn't like my patient to die due to the tingling and pricking-needle sensation in my hands. I was not fortunate enough to grow up in a normal family. Now, there's nothing that can be done. But that doesn't mean all hope is lost.

Despite all my problems, I am going to heal myself. I remember a quote from the Theory of Everything. "However bad life may seem, there is always something you can do, and succeed at. While there's life, there is hope." Now, I am not disabled as much as Dr.Hawking was. So why cannot I be a pharmaceutical scientist? I will always try my best to spread the word of God, which isn't the Bible or any other religious scripture, it is life itself. I am just a servant of the natural order. There's a reason why we call a disorder a disorder. It is something against the natural order of biological function.

I, as a Doctor of Science, will have the authority to help my fellow colleagues discover new drugs. I know, it won't be a walk through the garden. In fact I'll have to become even more emotionally damaged and stressed to even earn a bachelor's degree. Then masters' and then a doctorate. But I am going to change the world anyway and nobody can stop me, I am a rival to death.

Well you are remarkably eloquent in writing so can that translate to speech? Personally I believe it can. Nobody can stop you. One day at a time. One foot in front of the other. Getting through school was no easy task for me either. Life does tend to beat you up a bit when you’re stretching yourself and striving for new limits.

Hmm... I do not believe I write in a clear manner (I don't even know the basic grammar but I write using the top of my head) BUT I believe if I practice and practice using English language more and more, I will be able to publish good research papers into scientific journals. Colleagues won't give me awkward looks even if I do not make sense while talking. It's because they're medical scientists themselves and it's a fact currently no professor in my class gives me awkward looks. They just analyze whether or not I pay attention during the lecture and whether or not I get what they're saying.

I sometimes see my struggles as "the world isn't ready for an overly-brilliant mind like mine." Because you know? I am inbred, isolated, abused, injured, beaten, malnourished (even now), emotionally numbed among other things I cannot recall and shouldn't recall. I pass my science classes even in dire health like this. Imagine how my intellect would turned out to be if I wasn't inbred among the rest of the things.

You definitely write better than you think you do, that much I can say for sure.

As someone else pointed out in another thread of yours, there's times when you're very clear like this and others where the clarity seems to be a bit jarbled - possibly this changes based on how you're feeling? That would be my guess anyways. Even when slightly jarbled I wouldn't know you're not a native English speaker. Practice will definitely help, and in my experience practicing through text does help with voice speaking as well, but you should try to practice with your voice when you can as well.

I think my clarity really depends upon the amount of stress I am in and whether or not I am alone at home. Thanks for the compliment.

Now to be brutally honest, to be a scientist you need an immense amount of support from family, that's considering you're healthy. I unfortunately have a terrible memory. Dad's always like "the more the better", while mom's always like ,"Kiddo, take the textbook" while I am not even allowed to use the computer in our home. While my classmates are hitting on girls and riding bikes geared bikes, I am stuck at home feeling sick and discouraged... Whenever I explain my situation I get lost and I wonder, "What should I do?" I don't know, really.

I think I can only rely upon myself to shape myself as a scientist. I keep telling myself it's mostly the patients benefiting so it's cause combined with ambition and talent and will. So according to the law of karma it should work. But I am highly skeptical of every religion myself, so it's a bit of paradox here. Now, I wish I could heal myself... going out to a morning walk would be great idea, but the rest of the day should be okay as well, as to heal my cognition.

Do you ever “ruin others moods”

Does anyone?

Our stuff/their stuff

Hugs

TheLonelyChemist , You say you can't become a physician yet there are many ways you can heal others. I've seen you do it here. With your determination, I believe you COULD become a doctor and a damn good one.

Yes, I am going to be a healer. I am going to oppose death. And be damn good at it. Thank you so much, Calla lilly. I am thankful for your words of encouragement.

Who, Fuzzy? Why do you ask?

I’m confused too

Btw I don’t think I ever said I “hate doctors”... but I have been very hurt by them, in this forest. (Not pc, and not in the USA)

And I’ve felt that they try to silence me. Well they do silence me they simply don’t have time.. and that isn’t their fault. But if they wrongly label me that’s very unhelpful.

Also everywhere has “rules” .. sometimes too many rules

Maybe I just don’t fit into “society” in fact I don’t..

Which is partly why I’m on pc

Hugs to all

If you want my input TLC I think I agree with this.

Hugs

You are the wisest bear Fuzzy.

Dr's in the UK don't get us. I don't get on in society either, only around those good people who understand, my limits that my brain has set for me.

I'm cheering you on, LonelyChemist