Well, I am home now. It was a crazy day of flying yesterday as one unexpected destination took three hours; and then a two-and-a-half hour flight after that. If my flight had not been canceled yesterday, it would have been just a three-and-a-half hour non-stop flight. Anyways, I sat next to a woman who is a nurse and she was very nice to me. But unfortunately the woman sitting on the other side of me (I sat in a middle seat) had a very small child that cried for half the way.

I got home late last night and slept fairly well. I had to get up early so that I can do laundry. I will go shopping later on. I am surprised by the energy I had last night and this morning after what I had been through. I'm glad that it's over but I miss the good time I had last week, even though the weather wasn't the best.

[Seafarer]

This is the first day in over a week that my shoulder has not hurt. It isn't back to normal yet but at least it isn't hurting.

For some reason I slept very late this morning, until 10:30, and now at nearly 1 pm I am just finishing breakfast.

I still want to move away but I am feeling very discouraged. Moving is very expensive and a lot of trouble.

I don't know why, but all my friends seem to have dumped me. I am always upbeat with them, but two of them have dumped me after 30-odd years of friendship and the other after 10 years. I have no idea why. Guess I just don't matter to them anymore.

[3rd rock]

My new psychiatrist told me I absolutely must sleep at night and be awake during the day, as 8 hours of sleep aren't worth anything if they're during the day. I've been waking up at 6 am, although some days now I don't get out of bed until as late as 7 am. The real trouble will be when I return to work in the distant future and need a shift schedule that comports with such a sleep schedule.

finally heard back from the leasing office. I will sign the lease to my new place on Wednesday... I'm getting nervous. I don't like to sign huge contracts like these. and I hope my roommates are ok. They are definitely older, late 30s and early 40s, and I checked them out online so I think it will be ok.

some strange form of depression hit me hard yesterday. I was too tired to make it to class on Saturday and felt so awful about that. I feel grateful for this life experience I'm getting, but I don't feel good about my prospects in life. I am still feeling weird today. I caught up on sleep yesterday. basically all I did was sleep. I don't know, I just feel worthless and tired and empty and useless. I think I've been feeling burnt out lately. without even doing anything in particular that was straining... if that can even happen.

I hope moving to my new place I will have more money and more sleep. two ingredients for future success.

I suppose I did catch up on sleep this weekend. Now I have to sign up for yoga, buy plane tickets home for the holidays. Mother is probably dying soon. I am very conflicted about going home. it certainly won't be fun, and it will be expensive to go.

I want to finish my short story (but I don't fault myself for using an organic process), practice drawing, continue reading up on industry skills, do yoga to work on my body positivity.

What then? Life is so empty.

[Buffy01]

I start feeling really down and depressed last Saturday when I went out. I always feel horrible when I buy something for myself!

I went back to work this morning after having a week off. I always dread going back after being away. This morning I got an unexpected big job to do. And then I had to do some catching up after that. The morning was a bit rough, but OK. The afternoon was still busy but better emotionally. At the end of the day and after work, I felt wonderful.

[unfoldingxwings]

Just....staring into space, crying. I don't think I'm able to function today. And that's okay. It's one of my days off from work, so, I'm just going to lay here and do nothing.

[Seafarer]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

I start feeling really down and depressed last Saturday when I went out. I always feel horrible when I buy something for myself!

I feel that way sometimes too. But it's getting better. Even when I have to buy things I really need I feel guilty and like I shouldn't have spent the money. But it's getting better -- I don't always feel so bad when I buy stuff for myself. Even presents to myself.

It was slow today at work and kind of a weird day. I felt like I had been bumbling a little bit at times. The bumbling just gets me down. Maybe that travel from last week is still getting to me.

I've been so depressed today that it affects everything I do and say. Right now I practically hate who I seem to be today. I don't feel alive.

I did enjoy some things like my cats and guitar for a while

[SlumberKitty]

I'm feeling down and depressed today. I had a bizarre T session last night which has left me feeling invisible and unheard. I feel like I don't matter as a person. I feel very alone.

[Deilla]

Feeling pretty bad tonight. I'm sad and I feel like everything is lost. Nothing I do is enjoyable. I asked my sister to come visit me. She never did and she never gave me a yes or no answer. That hurts.

[3rd rock]

Getting up early at 6 am is too difficult, even painful. I think a better practice in the short term is to go to bed at the same time and then get up 2 hours later.

[FooZe]

The new thread is here: https://psychcentralforums.com/depre...ml#post6653115