[3rd rock]

Psychiatrist's office doesn't pick up the phone, doesn't return phone calls. He called me last week offering to see me, and I haven't heard from him since. This is weird.

[Sunflower123]

Very low energy today mentally and physically.

[3rd rock]

I just got off the phone with my insurance disability plan, and they're potentially going to refuse my claim because of two little words on the form. I'm not currently seeing a counselor, and I'm on referral to a new psychiatrist's office, and in the meantime I don't have a counselor to see, so they may declare I'm not following the prescribed medical treatment regimen because I'm not seeing a therapist that I currently don't ****ing have! Even just talking to these people on the phone turns me into a wreck. And even if I wasn't prescribed therapy, I still wouldn't be capable of working, because I'm not supposed to work (or operate machinery, or drive a car, etc.) until I've been seizure free for six months.

How am I supposed to see a therapist that I haven't yet been referred to? Am I supposed to just will myself into a therapist's office?

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Anonymous59786

Last thread has reached over 100 pages so here is a brand new one

Thanks for letting me know!

[Buffy01]

[QUOTE=Anonymous59275;6404406]I really wish things did not turn out so bad. If only people were nicer, kinder, more thoughtful. But...I had a cruel awakening to the true nature of many individuals. I have no idea how to deal with it and have no one to turn to, thanks to the mongers who stole from me.[/QUOTE\

I completely understand! I am going through this myself after becoming a victim of cyber bullying and cyberstalk

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

Psychiatrist's office doesn't pick up the phone, doesn't return phone calls. He called me last week offering to see me, and I haven't heard from him since. This is weird.

I believe you! I seen it happens! I call to set up an appointment and was berate by the reception!

[3rd rock]

What's even the point of covering therapists when the limit is $400 per year and they all charge $110 per hour and up? What exactly am I supposed to accomplish in less than 3 and a half sessions?

[3rd rock]

Stupid nervous about making a phone call to the insurance plan again today to ask if they've got any resolution to the problem.

I finally got about 8 hours of sleep, I still feel tired but I'm ok, just the people I live with can get to me. But I realize I no longer need to react to every little thing I get picked on about.

Hey 3rd Rock, sorry you are having such a hard time. I hope your claim gets straightened out.... it's very difficult to find the help. It took a second hospitalization for me to get some help, that's how bad healthcare is in Canada. Best wishes for things to turn around.

[Seafarer]

I felt a bit better yesterday and feel a little better today, after a horrible Monday. I spent Monday morning on the phone trying to find someone to help me resolve the problem my neighbors are causing, and Monday afternoon sleeping to escape from the scars of the Monday-morning ineffective phone calls.

[Rose76]

Yesterday I bounced up out of my tailspin, and I feel quite alright now. Got a lot done in the past 3 hours.

If only I could stay in this frame of mind.

I had a bad time with doing the laundry tonight for the second time in a row. This time a washer had completed the wash but the door didn't unlock. I contacted the manager about it. She was out at that time. I went to the laundry room an hour later and the door had unlocked. It worked out OK but I felt like I had a late night in getting the laundry done. It's hard enough as it is when everything works well. Never mind that there are problems that go along, which creates delays.

[Rose76]

No motivation to do anything.

[Rose76]

I feel way better now.

Just about every day, sometime between 3 p.m. and 5 p.m., I get a large sudden boost in mood. Then I often feel pretty good for the remainder of the day. The morning depression is miserable. But, come late afternoon, it lifts like dissipating fog.

I wish mornings didn't have to be so hard.

I had a tough day. Bringing my son to a different city, and he wont let me see where he's living. He did say to come back soon and visit, and he needs more things from here. He did let me know he is ok tonight.

I tried applying for 2 jobs today, so I should be proud that I tried. I also went to a friends parents, they are aging and the caregiving is getting too much for the daughter that does it. It's hard to see them age and I feel like they are being forced out of their home. There's nothing I can do about it.

I did get to see a beach today, but someone made the time a bit miserable, maybe I should blame myself. I sure don't like my own personality, but how can I change after all these years? Just be more quiet I think. I should listen to Eckhart for a bit.

[3rd rock]

Well every time I step outside my shell and start to interact with people, whether online or off, they're led by bullies and other people who hate me.

[Gem258]

Very slow at work today. In fact, today may have tied or broken a record for the least amount of incoming and outgoing packages in a day. Both were "0". Only two pieces of mail came in and both were junk mail. But there were other things that kept me busy, thank goodness! Also I had to put a dividing partition in the auditorium away with the maintenance man. It's a two-person job because the partition doesn't work well. I'm not crazy about having to do things with the maintenance man because he's grumpy.

Came home from work today feeling depressed and empty. I worked out and it went pretty good.

[Gem258]

I have been pretty low past couple weeks my eczema had s reslly bad flare up all over upper half of my body reslly drained me , my partner can be really abusive in bith ways which does not help , so been sleeping all day and night if I can .

Today my daughter had s play date so I baked with my youngest have done laundry did drawing I feel alot better today

I'm not okay anymore.

And I dont expect a darn thing. Just let me go, I hate alcohol, why did I drink ...... I don't care. Advil and coffee in the morning, and get myself a decent place to live sometime soon.

[Rose76]

Have not slept one second all night long.

I'm now trying some relaxing videos on YouTube . . . the ones where you hear rain while you look at trees in a forest, or watch and hear waves on a beach.

That stuff is all well and good . . . but I just swallowed two Vicodin, as I expect chemical soothing will work more reliably quicker than imagery.

Not having a normal circadian rhythm has ruined my life.

And my s.o. has an inner clock that keeps perfect time . . . and he expects me to stay in sync with him. Someday I'll know the joy of living alone again. I'll do everything at my own pace.

I'll not turn the TV on for 3 consecutive days just because the quiet sounds nicer. I'll eat breakfast at 2 a.m. just because I get a yen for some French toast at that hour. I'll go for a drive at 5 a.m. and watch the sun rise somewhere scenic.

I miss the 3 places where I used to live alone - tiny rented places in three different cities. Didn't have much. I loved them for what they kept out, rather than for what they contained. I loved being free from intrusion.

I think I'll stay in the bedroom all day today. He doesn't like coming in here, but sleeps in his recliner. Good. Stay out there. I have to catch up on my quota of solitude. Being with someone constantly is soul-killing for me.

I was very busy yesterday, too busy to look and write on here. Cleaning, shopping, and lots of running around. It was a pretty nice day emotionally yesterday. I have a new high interest savings yield pending starting yesterday that I'm excited about. I'm putting the rest of the money that my sister had paid back to me recently.

Last night I took a walk nearby, which I don't do very often. It was alright, but a bit silly like always. Felt very tired last night. I didn't sleep well last night because of the temperature changes. Just had a sheet over me because it was warm, but then it cooled off a lot in the middle of the night. I put a blanket on and then I got sneezing. That's what kept me awake.

[3rd rock]

Book 2 in my series outselling book 1, I don't get it!

Another fairly busy day. I had a neighbor ask me to take him shopping. I said OK since I was going to a car wash, and I ended up not doing it because the place was too crowded. And then I had to go to the store because I forgot an important item yesterday. The neighbor doesn't have a car. He's an OK guy but I fear that he may hit on me for favors. I prefer not to have a neighbor like that. He's not my type. If he turns out the way I fear that he might, then I'm going to have to come up with excuses. I hate doing that, but I hate to give in to someone like that, also.

Took a two and a half hour bike ride today. My sister called me this morning. We had a fairly nice talk, but she had to ruin it a bit by suggesting that I could move to her area, in which I have absolutely no interest in doing.