Confessions of little turtle with love #3

i am having more physical and mental decline...
thanks rohag

(((((little turtle)))))

Little turtle, you should love Valium less...
Inmao

I thought Valium was scary.
But I m going to try it out for 5-7days.
Yay!

valium is one of the best drugs out there..
but you can get addicted to it...
i was addicted to valium...hard getting off...
but i used it for 20 some years twice a day...

depression is strange....you are down in the dumps and feeling hopeless..

now i am feeling sad a lot...
i am closer to death...
the good past times are gone..
and there is such cruelty everywhere...
the world is a mess...
and so many of my friends are dead...
and i do not believe in any heaven or hell for me...

sounds like depression....at least i can still cry..

little turtle

That you can still cry is good little turtle... there have been times when I couldn't cry or even smile or even want to eat... they told me my dopamine was down... don't know if they told me the truth or not.... I thought somehow neurotransmitters balance each other to reach some level of homeostasis. I wonder what happened to my serotonin or nor epinephrine.

Like you I don't believe in heaven or hell for me. Over the years I have realized that belief in God and not good makes me weak as a person. But then you have passed on your genes to your next generations and you'll go on living in them you know and it's the same for all of us.

Yes there is cruelty everywhere like you say. But in all the cruelty that there is I have to make an effort to stay happy myself.... and enjoy life. If I punish myself and deny myself happiness because others are suffering I won't be able to help them either.
......................

I got to stay strong.

a long time ago i started taking the antidepressant elavil...
i think that turned out to be a big mistake....
i think it took me down....i don't want to believe that...
i am listening to a mad in america podcast about withdrawal from zoloft...
disturbing to me....i am a very afraid guy....

Elavil (or amitriptyline ), was the first med given to me. It took it's course, pooped out, and now I would like it back because it helps for migraines and dulls pain. I think it dulled my mind as well though. If I could go back in time, I'd stick with a low dose anti-anxiety pill, or get some real good therapy to teach me how to deal with the anxiety and mostly depression.

I thought lorazepam was working like magic, no problems when on it. Until I lowered the dose and I had huge anxiety looking around for 1 mg. of it when I couldn't find the bottle. I take 10 to 20 mg. of diazepam, if I lower it, I feel like I could jump out of my skin when someone is being nasty to me.

I try not to listen to the world news, it's so depressing. Thanks for sharing your experiences little turtle. Hugs to you.

i don't know very much...

i don't know very much....but i do know some about the dangers of taking these psych drugs..
celexa and valium for me....i need to be kind and gentle and patient and honest with myself..

i do know something....iiiii must be careful about the words that come out of MY MOUTH.......

Wise words Little turtle.

I am also finding that I must be careful with the words that don't come out of my mouth but instead just bounce around in my brain...

words bouncing around in the brain...yes
thanks TS...

Kindness

Hugs to all.

there is hope for us....someday...somewhere...
we will understand better what has happened to us for real...
and how to go about healing ourselves.....

Thank you!