[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

I've learned very few care anything about me - therefore I am confronted with the question, "why should i care about them?" I used to have several valid reasons for this question.. now .. all I can think is "I shouldn't - I hate them too" and it makes me feel bad - yet caring for them hurts too. I'm stuck.

I also feel as if my soul has died. Yet, if that has happened ... then there would be further consequences I do not believe have or could happen. Again - I am stuck.

I need help and yet I can find none. ... stuck ...

I do not know what to do.

I hope the end comes quickly.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((( Crypts ))))))))))

[CepheidVariable]

I don't know if this is the same, but I have grappled with forgiveness and even hate towards people who mistreated me. The worst was when I kept wondering if I was being unreasonable or was wrong in some way. Eventually I decided it didn't matter; The relationship was toxic to me and was never going to change. So I cut them off. I have not spoken to them in two decades and have no intention of ever doing so. They can live their life and I will not care or interfere. It's not forgiveness, but it's the best I can do.

That has helped.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by CepheidVariable

I don't know if this is the same, but I have grappled with forgiveness and even hate towards people who mistreated me. The worst was when I kept wondering if I was being unreasonable or was wrong in some way. Eventually I decided it didn't matter; The relationship was toxic to me and was never going to change. So I cut them off. I have not spoken to them in two decades and have no intention of ever doing so. They can live their life and I will not care or interfere. It's not forgiveness, but it's the best I can do.

That has helped.

For me - its most everyone in my life or that I come in contact with.. some that I have known for years. I have not changed - so I don't understand it at all. Its not about self blame bc I dont see anything to blame myself for. I dont even feel anger toward anyone so I am not sure if forgiveness fits into this. Its more like confusion and not understanding why they are treating me like this nor how I am supposed to respond - or even how it is I want to respond.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by CepheidVariable

I don't know if this is the same, but I have grappled with forgiveness and even hate towards people who mistreated me. The worst was when I kept wondering if I was being unreasonable or was wrong in some way. Eventually I decided it didn't matter; The relationship was toxic to me and was never going to change. So I cut them off. I have not spoken to them in two decades and have no intention of ever doing so. They can live their life and I will not care or interfere. It's not forgiveness, but it's the best I can do.

That has helped.

Good post.. I can relate .....

Some relationships are toxic to us and are very unlikely to ever change. For a start, both parties would need to be open minded and to be able to negotiate differences.. or at least to speak with respect.. and then there are some people who simply won’t or can’t listen.. and come at us from their place of “toxicity” It takes a lot for me to cut someone out of my life, but I do it when necessary

It maybe isn’t forgiveness if they can’t forgive us for being human

Hugs to all in this thread.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

For me - its most everyone in my life or that I come in contact with.. some that I have known for years. I have not changed - so I don't understand it at all. Its not about self blame bc I dont see anything to blame myself for. I dont even feel anger toward anyone so I am not sure if forgiveness fits into this. Its more like confusion and not understanding why they are treating me like this nor how I am supposed to respond - or even how it is I want to respond.

Some people confuse me too

I’m sending hugs ((((((((((( Crypts ))))))))))