I have been feeling depressed and very anxious lately, ever since that doctor visit last Friday. I am very anxious about the X-Ray and hope that nothing shows up on the bones. I would be very devastated if it did.

My sister and I talked today. It mostly went OK but a couple of things were mind-blowing. She would want me to move into her place (which is over 3000 miles away) if it doesn't look good for me. I really don't want to do that. It would not be a good environment for me to be there, especially if I'm not well. We've been though this before. I guess I haven't spoken to her on how I feel about why I don't want to be at her place. She can't take rejection very well.

Other than that I went on a three hour bike ride. As of now I'm feeling like my great health is about to come to an end and the opposite is going to happen.

[giddykitty]

been bored a lot lately

[Buffy01]

My sister and her friend is bullying me again today.

I’m extremely depressed. I can’t do this.

[3rd rock]

Managing to make some progress on new book. It'll take a while to write, but I'll have the substantive part of it done by the summer.

I hate all my coworkers.

Going home last month and speaking to my mother last week really brought me down. I am still triggered from it. I don’t know what to do.

I wish I had said no to my art patron about doing some dumb stuff for her because I think it’s dumb. And I’m having a breakdown due to family things and being triggered by remembering things. Plus I am really thinking about the long run. It’s unlikely that doing a few things for her is going to result in getting noticed by more people. What would probably benefit me more is to do art that resonates with me and makes people really go wow. And my main goal is to get promoted at work. The art business can come slowly.

There’s no point in speaking about things. No one cares and no one wants to hear it. I think about saying stuff and think, what good will that do? There’s really no point.

I’m very lonely and depressed. Maybe it doesn’t seem like it but I am, I just wish expressing what I need/ feel didn’t make me look crazy. I have two weeks until a 4 day weekend. I am ready.

It wasn't too busy at work today. Felt very dreary today, not because of being at work. Because of worrying about what's going to happen to me in the near future with tests for my medical issue. After work I picked up my prescription. Did the laundry when I got home.

[Yzen]

Frustrated with work and everything else at the moment.

[Breaking Dawn]

I am feeling a bit hopeful today. A post here at PC inspired me this morning.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I'm feeling sort of Okay this morning. Been eating comfort food. I haven't used food to cope in ages. My stomach is a little upset. Will try to eat better for the rest of the day.

I'm glad that you are feeling okay and you have something to comfort you.

[giddykitty]

My life is never enough, never, never, never enough! feeling low after feeling pretty high today.

[downandlonely]

Have a cold and have been sleeping most of the day

Last night I took that prescription before going to bed. I was advised to at that time because of drowsiness. I slept pretty good. I was worried that I would be so tired that I would oversleep this morning. I didn't and felt the same while at work. Except that I felt sleepy in the afternoon. It was boring at that time.

I felt alright driving home from work and I was worried about it since I felt sleepy before heading home. I napped a bit at home and then worked out. I was scared to workout but it went alright.

Feeling depressed tonight because of having the medications. I'm worried that something is going to happen. I usually have a little wine around dinner but have decided to forgo it.

[3rd rock]

I need to find some way of sleeping without resorting to taking zopiclone. If I don't take it I simply can't sleep. But it's a bad idea to rely on it regularly. That's a bad path to go down.

[Breaking Dawn]

Things seem to be better today.

[Radioactivetnt62]

Hello Everyone! I haven't been here in a while. My hubby James is in ICU AGAIN. I gave her a patient advocate website that helps with co-pays for insurance, meds, financial, disease testing. Anything medical related.

I have Cedar Fever from cedar pollen. I've lost at least 25-30 lbs. since it hit in December.

I've been drinking hot peach & herbal t on & off to help my voice. I sing everything on You Tube.
I MISS JAMES HORRIBLY! I can't see him now because I need to get groceries delivered & get more cigarettes. Ive been doing a pack a day.

I am happy to be back here!

Feeling depressed now. At work I felt alright and by the last hour or so some little things happened to make me feel pretty good. When I got home I felt a little down.

I was just about to complete my little nap that I do after getting home when the phone rang and it was from an office scheduling an MRI that I need. It will be at the end of this month. I wish it could be sooner. Feeling scared about the whole thing.

A lot of anxiety but that’s because I have a lot of stuff going on, which is good.

The light for tire pressure went on before I drove home. I drove home anyway. I’ll have to check them tomorrow morning. Hopefully it’s not some thing bad.

The car is the only unwelcome anxiety I have. I hope it won’t be too late tomorrow to fix it. I’m pretty sure it will be fine and it’s not a bad omen.

I guess the car is like my body. I have trouble keeping up with hygiene... I just can’t find the energy. Showering and taking care of my teeth in one go exhausts me. I have to lie down afterwards... then it becomes a matter of time. I’m worried my teeth will deteriorate by the time I’m 35. And my eyesight too.

I’m sure tomorrow will go well. Shower, tire pressure, finish art commission, and work, where I am going to absolutely kill it.

[nikon]

I haven't been here for quite a while. Hope everyone is doing ok today

[Breaking Dawn]

I have wild salmon in the oven & potatoes cooking on the stove. So I definitely have something good to look forward to. Also, I'm here!

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

I have wild salmon in the oven & potatoes cooking on the stove. So I definitely have something good to look forward to. Also, I'm here!

Sounds delicious! I’m glad you’re here!

Meeting went oddly. I seem to have shut down. Not said much. Not emoted much. Hopefully he realizes it’s anxiety. I seem to have most people on my side.but only my skill will tell. I am going in circles in my head thinking of how I should have said things, how I could do have done better. Argh. But at least I had the conversation.

Car is ok. Thank god. Client seemed to like my art and told me to keep the change...

[3rd rock]

Sad due to poor book sales. Income YTD is actually a little higher than income to the same date last year, but unit sales are way down. I want to become highly successful, but it's not going to happen, no matter what I try. This is because I'm terrible.

Meeting with management (about promotion/training) took a lot out of me. I feel very low. I Know it’s because I’m afraid of my father. I bought myself a frappuccino as a present for going out of my comfort zone and helping myself by having the conversation even if it was stilted and awkward. Next time the conversation will be easier. Even if management doesn’t want me, I want myself.

I feel like this is something people go to therapy for but honestly idk how it could help me. All I can do is keep speaking to management even when it scares me. I hate that I don’t think therapy could help. It makes me feel lonely.