[Breaking Dawn]

Yesterday was better than previous days, & so far, today is also better. So I'm feeling some new optimism.

[Underdevelopment]

Cancelled yet another appointment today. This one, my therapist. I dont have the energy to psychoanalyse or even question my thoughts feelings and actions. Wanting to keep breathing is hard, so thats my focus.

In out repeat is full use of my brain today. And making coffee. Oh poop, coffee. I havent had my tablets. Ugh

[Breaking Dawn]

Dear @Underdevelopment, I hope things turn around for you soon.

[Mountaindewed]

Today is a not sleep well and not eat much kind of day. I feel really depressed.

I’ve been very depressed and suicidal in 2020 so far.

I don’t know, maybe I’ve always been like this. I am down nearly every day. the lowest moods happen on the weekend when I have no work so no reason to get out of bed and hygiene. Then that spills over into the week. then it happens all over again. I can hardly take care of myself any time.

I have an art commission I don’t think I’m capable of doing and I’ll be staying up all night to finish it if I don’t fall asleep. I hate missing deadlines. It gives me a feeling of dread and doom and depression.

Work was ******. Social dynamics and triggering coworkers. Boredom and feeling under the microscope by one coworker. The self harm has been increasing lately.

I have no friends outside of work and dont like anyone I meet. They probably don’t like me either. I am lonely.

[Yzen]

Originally Posted by the walls

I have an art commission I don’t think I’m capable of doing and I’ll be staying up all night to finish it if I don’t fall asleep. I hate missing deadlines. It gives me a feeling of dread and doom and depression.

I hope you start feeling better soon, @the walls. Your art work is sounding encouraging this new year. You are capable and talented!
Please take care of yourself.

[giddykitty]

Middle ground

I'm trying to enjoy this week now since next Monday is going to be a day I will dread. I've had a couple of set backs this week. On Tuesday I was going to have a Performance Review at work (by phone) but it turned out that the person I was going to have it with never got on to me. And then it turned out that she was out of the office all day.

I had brought my bike in for service work last Sunday and was told that the bike could be ready by Tuesday. I had not heard anything from the shop and I called today. They told me that it may not be ready until Monday. So that means no bike riding this weekend.

I'm dreading Monday because of the doctor's appointment after having a blood test with a result that was not good.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sending hugs and kind thoughts

[Sunflower123]

I’m feeling better today. Thank you to those that reached out to me. I really appreciate the hugs and messages. I apologize for being slow to return messages. I am working on it.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

[3rd rock]

I got banned from Twitter for making somewhat off-colour comments about pharmaceutical executives and opiods. Well Twitter sucks anyways.

I ate too much for supper, and now I'm uncomfortably full.

[zapatoes]

Felt blah and watched a good, but sad movie. It helped me feel better in some ways since felt almost numb today and it was very sad and still happy ending.

[Turtle_Rider]

Feeling so low. I hate December because bad things always happen on December.The December has been over, but I still haven't got over the damages. And yet, January has not over yet but the world has gotten crazy. Flood, WW3, fires, new virus, etc. I'm going crazy about it.

[Breaking Dawn]

Well, I suppose I could say things seem to be somewhat inbetween this & that.

Was very busy today with the cleaning and shopping. My bike ended up being ready and I went on a one-hour ride. It rides nicer now.

I was feeling fairly good this morning and early afternoon. And then it sunk later in the afternoon.

Lately on the forums (other than the Depression) on Psyche Central, there's been a lot of postings (and they have been very good I think) about loneliness. There seems to be so much of it. I feel like I'm alone and being surrounded by others who are all set with their lives. Not a nice feeling!

[3rd rock]

Matthew 7:7 says ask and you shall receive, I've been praying to God to help me become a successful author but so far I have not found success. I will keep on working until I am successful, which I hope is just around the corner.

[Mountaindewed]

Thursday night I slept for almost 11 hours and I was in bed for over 12.5 hours. Friday night I slept for over 11.5 hours and I was in bed for almost 14 hours. Then last night I was asleep for almost 10.5 hours and in bed for almost 13.5 hours. Yeah that’s severe depression for sure.

Very lonely and tired and depressed.

@the walls: Could it be Winter depression? I feel the worst in January. But it's moving along. Just five more days. SAD lights are not for me as i get depressed in Summer too. I like Spring and Fall as long as i don't get TOO high, like last Fall. Anyways, sorry you're feeling so lousy and i hope things improve soon.

Felt tired to get out of bed this morning, even though I slept alright. Dreading today, not because of work, but because of the doctor's appointment later on today. This time it's about an issue that's concerning since the blood test revealed that something's possibly wrong.

[giddykitty]

I felt super tired this morning and went back to sleep. Woke up at about 1pm. What's the Matter With Me sleeping so much again??! I mean I have been sick, but I'm getting better and I didn't even take the sleep inducing Nyquil last night. Sigh

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by will19

Felt tired to get out of bed this morning, even though I slept alright. Dreading today, not because of work, but because of the doctor's appointment later on today. This time it's about an issue that's concerning since the blood test revealed that something's possibly wrong.

I just got a call saying that my doctor's appointment has been moved up to Friday. I wish it could be cancelled altogether, but at least it gives me a little more time to mull things over.

[Fuzzybear]

Hugs and respect to all

[Breaking Dawn]

I solved a difficult problem today, something that had to get done, & it wasn't even my problem, but I ended up with it. What a relief! Like a big weight has been lifted off of me.