Daily Check In Thread: Ups & Downs #27

Breaking Dawn · Feb 26, 2020, 06:42 PM

Dear @Rose76, You are so wonderful for him, because you love him. Thank you for posting & sharing. My prayers are with you, as I'm sure many others are. God bless you!

Feb 26, 2020, 11:50 PM

It turned out that the appointment I had for Thursday has been postponed, so I will be going to work instead of taking the day off. The appointment was postponed because I need to have an MRI done before the consultation. So I'm looking into getting an MRI done and hopefully soon. Although I feel great physically but not so emotionally.

Went for a bike ride after work. It's nice being able to do that now.

giddykitty · Feb 27, 2020, 02:45 AM

Had a pretty good day so feeling good. A little worried it won't last though, but hopeful for some restful sleep and some sweet dreams!

leomama · Feb 27, 2020, 02:48 PM

Feeling quite down today .

3rd rock · Feb 27, 2020, 06:06 PM

I'm pretty tired today. I went to have bloodwork done this morning, which meant no coffee or breakfast until I got home at around 10. I'll find out soon if I have a thyroid problem that causes me to be exhausted all the time. If so, my psychiatrist will prescribe medication for that. If not, he'll prescribe amphetamines.

Feb 27, 2020, 07:08 PM

I haven’t been able to sleep. Lots on my mind.

giddykitty · Feb 27, 2020, 07:57 PM

Well, I overslept and was still tired but probably needed it because I guess I didn't sleep until after 2:30am...that's kinda late. And fingernail picking was keeping me up. Sigh! and I think I had some unpleasant dreams, but I must be repressing them because I only get glimpses and negative feelings. :/ Going to try to make the most of today though!

wanted to see the kitties again today and watch Lucifer. Looks like I'm not going to get time. :/

This might not make a lot of sense because I'm copying and pasting different thoughts throughout the day and distracted as I compile all this. oops!

BlueCat214 · Feb 27, 2020, 09:56 PM

I'm feeling really trapped. I've been dealing with the same problems for years. I don't know how to keep going. Also having sleep issues. Very stressful. I'm not sure what step to take next. I don't see a way forward.

Feb 28, 2020, 12:01 AM

I went to work today. I was going to have the day off as of yesterday. Yesterday I had told a few people at work that I was going to be off for Thursday. They were shocked to see me today. I decided to move a day off to another time when I can make the medical appointments.

It was not busy with work today. However there were some phone calls to make to the doctor's offices and emailing them also. It was very draining. But now I feel like I have finally made some progress to take action. At least there's now a clear path to go for action now. I hope & pray that the results will be OK as I am very anxious.

leomama · Feb 28, 2020, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueCat214

I'm feeling really trapped. I've been dealing with the same problems for years. I don't know how to keep going. Also having sleep issues. Very stressful. I'm not sure what step to take next. I don't see a way forward.

That’s a rough spot to be in. What kind of medication or supplementation are you taking?

leomama · Feb 28, 2020, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the walls

I haven’t been able to sleep. Lots on my mind.

How’s your caffeine intake?

Mountaindewed · Feb 28, 2020, 07:38 PM

I can’t tell if I’m so depressed that I don’t care or if I’m doing ok so I’m handling disappointment better....

Feb 28, 2020, 08:10 PM

I embarrass myself every day. Argh. Maybe this relates to the amount of social anxiety I have rather than how I actually am. Idk.

I’m trying to concentrate on studying something. But I cannot!

Life is full of pitfalls and it seems like some of them are unavoidable if you want to keep moving forward. I hope I’m playing my cards right. I feel kind of sad and depressed right now. I think I might be lonely.

I don’t have a single connection here. I don’t know how to make them. I guess something is missing. I don’t understand what the point of socializing is. Like, why would I want to go to a bar and have a trivia night or just drink with people? What is the point? It sounds so depressing.

3rd rock · Feb 28, 2020, 10:48 PM

I'm all set to return to work. My first shift next week will be Tuesday. I'm so nervous I could freak out at any moment. I've got to keep drinking coffee. Part of me thinks they're going to just fire me instantaneously for being off for almost 10 months, but the other part of me knows that's stupid. The union rep is coming by on Wednesday, which I'll be working as well, so I can see him for the first time since I last worked. I feel like I'm in an intense state of fear, like survival mode when everything else but adrenaline shuts down or something. It'll be fine.

Feb 28, 2020, 11:57 PM

Today wasn't a feel good kind of day. I've noticed that there are certain people that give me the silent treatment when I'm near them. I don't know what I could have done to hurt or offend them in any way. I hardly talk to those people.

One good thing is that I finally lined up times for my medical appointments. I thought that it would never happen. That's the only decent thing that happened all day.

Tonight my friend had called saying that he can't talk tonight and had to go to bed early. I happened to be out when he called. He didn't say why he's going to bed early.

giddykitty · Feb 29, 2020, 12:29 AM

Not a very eventful day.

Woke up early but took a nap. Made and ate lunch, but it wasn't enough for dinner...but I wanted to go visit the kitties and watch Lucifer on Netflix, so I did. Then had to scrounge together something for dinner. Hopefully it won't make me sick cuz it was leftovers. I feel ok at the moment. I really hope we can get pizza tomorrow and at my favorite place! I'm crazy craving it!!

Mood: okay

Yzen · Feb 29, 2020, 05:47 AM

My headaches are back. After not having many for weeks, I had one each of the last 3 days. My anxiety was bad on Wednesday afternoon, so maybe that caused the headaches.

I'm going to try to have a calm weekend and accomplish a few things.

Sunflower123 · Feb 29, 2020, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I'm all set to return to work. My first shift next week will be Tuesday. I'm so nervous I could freak out at any moment. I've got to keep drinking coffee. Part of me thinks they're going to just fire me instantaneously for being off for almost 10 months, but the other part of me knows that's stupid. The union rep is coming by on Wednesday, which I'll be working as well, so I can see him for the first time since I last worked. I feel like I'm in an intense state of fear, like survival mode when everything else but adrenaline shuts down or something. It'll be fine.

I hope everything goes well. Sending supportive vibes for your return to work.

Breaking Dawn · Feb 29, 2020, 09:35 PM

I'm doing pretty good. Thank you. I'm wishing the best for all of you!

Feb 29, 2020, 10:27 PM

I have a good life. I should quit complaining.

I made flatbread today. It tastes great. Lemon trees by the apartment building next door were too high up for me to reach so I had to go to the market to get them. I didn’t want to freak people out inside by pulling the branches down. Also the lemons looked a lot more spherical than the spherical ones you get at the market, even tho I checked and they are indeed lemon trees, idk.

Perhaps I should have made tortillas instead of flatbread. I want to use queso fresco cheese and black beans and sweet potatoes on the flatbread with a dash of lime and chili (chile y limon) and also lime juice... hopefully the flatbread doesn’t overpower it. I’d love to open a restaurant one day... I want to be a celebrity chef.

I realized I’m not a nice person. I don’t understand why some things are considered rude and mean. I think perhaps they are just antisocial. But people see it as mean. So I guess I’m not a nice person. I feel like depression is twisting my personality apart. My father was like me, I guess I got it from him.