It was a pretty good day today, even though the weekend was pretty dull. Last night I saw a good movie. It was something kind of different from what I have been watching before. It was a movie I had never heard of but the preview sounded like something I wanted to see. I was not disappointed this time.

I was very busy in the morning with some light errands (getting things that I forgot to get yesterday) and a little cleaning. My sister called and we had a pretty good talk. My friend wanted to visit me but decided not to because the weather was appearing to be bad. I took a long bike ride today in the cloudy, brisk, and little bit of a rainy day.

Later on I made brownies for desert. I had not had it in a long time. I read a review online about that particular brownie mix that was supposed to be the best. I felt like it didn't come out as good as it was described. I guess I may have over baked it (the edges were practically burnt) and the batter may have spread out a little too much which made the brownies thin.

[skyhawksoars]

Today is a positive flow. The corona virus situation is exacerbating anxiety a bit, so, to tend the fear, I did a little EFT tapping and am going to focus on rest. I have had insomnia for decades and getting rest is my number one focus.

[lotusblossom19]

Originally Posted by leomama

From a parent or partner?

multiple relatives, including a parent

Today was normal. I had my pole dance class which was fun. I’m sore and bruised but I feel great. I think it could be good therapy for me.

I didn’t go over my notes for work at all this weekend. I was really tired. I think I’ll go to bed now and wake up early to do it. i don’t think it will be hard. in my new job you have to be sharp. I love it.

I vacuumed my room which makes me feel good.

I’m unhappy with myself and how immature I am. Even though my friend was like 60 and I was in my early 20s I should have been more mature. I do not think it was sustainable tho. I am growing up.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by the walls

Today was normal. I had my pole dance class which was fun. I’m sore and bruised but I feel great. I think it could be good therapy for me.


I didn’t go over my notes for work at all this weekend. I was really tired. I think I’ll go to bed now and wake up early to do it. i don’t think it will be hard. in my new job you have to be sharp. I love it.


I vacuumed my room which makes me feel good.


I’m unhappy with myself and how immature I am. Even though my friend was like 60 and I was in my early 20s I should have been more mature. I do not think it was sustainable tho. I am growing up.

Your friend?

[3rd rock]

Although February 2020 was the worst month ever for my print book sales in terms of units sold, due to changes in pricing structure I still made about twice as much as I did in February 2019. I guess it's a mixed result, but I'm still making very little money. Still, that makes both January and February of this year that my income increased over the same periods last year. If nothing else, that's progress.

My job is a joke

[3rd rock]

I can't go to work tomorrow, but I have no choice. I have no options.

[Yzen]

so sad right now. what is going on with me?

[Breaking Dawn]

I'm ok right now. And wishing you all good health & no sadness.

[Rose76]

I have a sore arm that got a lot worse. I'll go in and see my PCP and hope she'll order me some Indocin. It's a miracle drug for me. But it can aggravate GI bleeding which has been an issue for me.

I'm starting to get depressed. All over this pain.

I don’t think I’m handling anything right.

[Buffy01]

I don't know what I am feeling today. My emotions are a rollercoaster.

[3rd rock]

Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. I'm very tired, though.

[Yzen]

Not much better today. I am trying to get myself out of a bad place where new incidents keep weighing me down further. I am hoping something good will happen today to help pull myself out of this.

[Rose76]

My new smart phone loaded up Psych Central in a new mobile format that I don't completely understand. I don't know how to do hugs on this, but (((hugs))) to all who are struggling.

My arm still hurts, but I'm not depressed. I'll see my PCP tomorrow. Maybe she'll hook me up with adequate pain meds. Plus, I'm finding more ways to avoid using my r. arm.

My home made chicken soup came out good last night, which makes me happy.

They might be pushing me out of training soon. I think my trainer wants to be doing better things instead of training me. I don’t feel ready to do the work on my own. I feel abandoned and thrown to the wolves.

There are a lot of social dynamics in my department that are complicated and feel triggering to me. It was a ****** day.

I think I have a lot of complex trauma.

I just ate my dinner in my car. I feel sad and isolated. I think I am a toxic person.

I no longer speak with my brother. It’s my fault. I’m the black sheep of the family so he is always siding with my parents. He is the good kid in my family. Anyway something came up where my family went behind my back and decided he was going to get something I didn’t. I said to him that my parents must like him more.

I’m thinking of just removing him from my social media following so I don’t have to think about him abandoning me anymore. It’s not like we ever really spoke anyway.

It amazes me how easy it is to lose all contact with people. We don’t know each other’s addresses. Without the social media, there are no other connections. (Maybe phone but still.)

I feel lost beyond hope. I’m certainly a toxic person. Someone said a good way to know if someone is not crazy is to check if they have at least one close person. I have no one. I haven’t had anyone ever. I don’t even know if my friend counted. My friend is one of those people who if you sever the social media, you lose all contact.

I need friends/love but I know I am toxic. So I stay away. I don’t even know where to start.

[Breaking Dawn]

@the walls, can you become a volunteer somewhere that matters to you, & maybe find a friend among the other volunteers? This other person would probably share similar feelings about this mutual interest. Just one day a week for a few hours. You could try it & see what happens, meanwhile doing good for a cause you believe in. Good luck!

[DechanDawa]

Before dawn woke up drenched in depression, called crisis hotline, got good support, plan for day...some smooth sailing...out in sunny beautiful day...later...terrible, terrible phone call from friend who spewed toxic waste all over my mood...plunged into despair...called crisis hotline...AGAIN...got some great insight and inspiration. One of the most wonderful things about the state where I live is an awesome 24 hour crisis hotline staffed by warm, wise counselors. You can call as much as you want, it's free, and frankly, a lifesaver.

Sorry for posting. I probably trigger the **** out of people.

[Yzen]

Originally Posted by the walls

Sorry for posting. I probably trigger the **** out of people.

Keep posting, the walls. Things are messy and people on this thread can relate. And, you are not a toxic person.

[3rd rock]

My first two days back at work were quite tiring, but otherwise uneventful. I owe the government some money in back-taxes for last year, so I need to get back to full time work as soon as possible. I expect this will be the case by the end of April.

[Buffy01]

I been feeling really down and depressed again. Nothing feel good anymore.

[Breaking Dawn]

Not doing really wonderful right now. I'm sorry. I wish all of you so much.