[gary290]

Originally Posted by Rose76

Yesterday, I got ticked off at my deceased boyfriend's kids. It escalated, and now I'm kind of depressed about it.

I got to snap out of that and pack. Tomorrow I fly on the plane bringing my bf's body back East. I think I'll be alright.

That’s a lot to go through. I’m so sorry Rose.

[3rd rock]

My supervisor is bullying me. I had to leave work early after an incident because I was too afraid of an emotional outburst, not necessarily angry, but I was beginning to fight back tears. I'm going to file a grievance over this, although I'm not sure when. Possibly tomorrow. I'm not going into work tomorrow either. I feel like crying. I still have the beginnings of tears in my eyes, but I feel a little better now that I'm at home.

[Breaking Dawn]

I'm sorry, @3rd rock. Take care.

Today was the first whole day of having my computer at work functioning. A slow day at work, but at least I'm happy that the anxiety of not having my computer to work is done with.

I had a talk with a Financial Advisor later this afternoon. He was pretty sobering to me in talking about my financial future. He told me of a plan that he thinks might work for me. There was something about that guy I didn't like. So I don't think I will go with him.

Felt depressed after leaving work. Maybe it was because of the talk I had with the Financial Advisor. Also there were helicopters circling around where I live. They are there just in case there's any trouble with the "peaceful" protesters.

[3rd rock]

I think I'll go in to work tomorrow anyways. I only have to get through the day and then I have three days off. I don't know if the supervisor who is bullying me will escalate his bullying tomorrow. I am afraid he'll use the excuse to force me into a sit-down meeting in order to intimidate me and threaten me with discipline for having replied to his statements yesterday in the private talk. It's the anxiety this possibility produces that makes it hard. I have no choice because I need this job and can't find another, not right now.

Was busy today, which was nice, and it was a good day emotionally at work. But this morning, when I was awake in bed before getting up, I felt depressed and anxious for my future. I got thinking; where am I going and how will my life end? Will I physically be able to make a move to another part of the country in a few years from now like I want to?

Lately I feel like my friend is depressing me more than making me feel better. He's all that I got, but I wish someone else would come along. I know that I have been saying that for quite a while.

[Breaking Dawn]

I had a fairly productive day yesterday, so I'm hoping today will be like that. I need to conjure up my motivation.

[WanderingCat]

I am falling into the habit of going to sleep at around 2 am, then I wake up at 10 am and I always end up having an unproductive morning. Afternoons are a little bit better, but it's incredible how I never get anything done after 8 pm. I am not even sure how I end up going to sleep so late, I need to work on better sleep hygiene. A few hours ago I ended up crying and I still have no idea why I was crying.

Busy in the morning and everything is done. Feeling some tension at where I live because of demonstrators nearby. There were some helicopters circling around; and I'm so sick of them. This has gone on every day! Now I can hear chanting in the distance with my windows opened. I wish this thing would come to an end.

[Rose76]

My sister and my niece are taking such good care of me. Grief becomes so much more bearable when someone who knows you well tries to love you through it. I'm not depressed right now. Without them I most likely would be.

[MimiBhaduri0]

Originally Posted by Rose76

My sister and my niece are taking such good care of me. Grief becomes so much more bearable when someone who knows you well tries to love you through it. I'm not depressed right now. Without them I most likely would be.

I am happy that you are feeling better.

I have had a bad weekend.

yesterday I had memories of trauma and a panic attack, and today I have nothing that needs doing so basically another wasted weekend.

blah

[Rose76]

I'm at my sister's. She picked me up at the airport on Fri. I was so grateful that my sister was looking after me so nicely, as I recover from my boyfriend's death on Sunday.

Last evening I took a long, luxurious soak in my sister's jacuzzi style tub. It has water jets long the inside of it. She started knocking on the door. When I got out she was furious. She accused me of being in the bathroom so I could use drugs. This was beyong crazy. I never expected this. I don't know what made my sister so mad. She may have been drinking, but she didn't seem drunk. She has abrupt personality and mood changes when she drinks. She went from not talking to me to demanding answers from me. It was bizarre.

I thought maybe she was mad that I wasn't out in time to join the family for dinner. I told her that was rude of me and I humbly apologized. She just got madder.

I think I've got to find a cheap motel room near the train that will take me to NYC. I need to book a flight back to New Mexico.

I trusted her . . . and she went Cujo on me last nite. She's done this Cujo thing before. I will not stay here being in fear of her next Cujo fit. I have no other family around here who could take me in.

Originally Posted by Rose76

I'm at my sister's. She picked me up at the airport on Fri. I was so grateful that my sister was looking after me so nicely, as I recover from my boyfriend's death on Sunday.

Last evening I took a long, luxurious soak in my sister's jacuzzi style tub. It has water jets long the inside of it. She started knocking on the door. When I got out she was furious. She accused me of being in the bathroom so I could use drugs. This was beyong crazy. I never expected this. I don't know what made my sister so mad. She may have been drinking, but she didn't seem drunk. She has abrupt personality and mood changes when she drinks. She went from not talking to me to demanding answers from me. It was bizarre.

I thought maybe she was mad that I wasn't out in time to join the family for dinner. I told her that was rude of me and I humbly apologized. She just got madder.

I think I've got to find a cheap motel room near the train that will take me to NYC. I need to book a flight back to New Mexico.

I trusted her . . . and she went Cujo on me last nite. She's done this Cujo thing before. I will not stay here being in fear of her next Cujo fit. I have no other family around here who could take me in.

Oh goodness, I'm so sorry to hear that. People's moods can be so strange sometimes. And also, so sorry to hear of your boyfriend's passing. You had done and went through so much with him.

[Breaking Dawn]

Best wishes to all of you! And me too.

I guess that today was a mixed day emotionally for me. Spoke to my sister this morning. It went OK. After that I got a message from the apartment manager at where I live saying that the downstairs neighbors of mine are hearing noises from me. They are hearing stuff being dropped on the floor and foot stomping. I posted that on the Anxiety, Panic, and Phobias Forum.

Took a bike ride for most of the afternoon. It was nice for it. Didn't run into any protesters like the last couple of times I went.

[3rd rock]

I've been on hold for over an hour now with the Canada Revenue Agency. All I need to do is get my account unlocked so I can view my notice of assessment online! It'll take like thirty seconds, once I get to talk to a person that is. Grrr...

[Rose76]

I'm at my sister's. Since she got mad at me Sat night, we haven't really spoken. Bad as it feels here, it seemed better than being alone. But I'm thinking of getting a motel room. I never expected this.

etween the cash and credit cards I have, I believe I have plenty to cover a motel room, an uber ride to the airport and the 2000 mile flight.

If she made an attempt at an apology. She hasn't. Accompanying my boyfriend's body was only half the reason I came back East. The other half was to visit my sister. I thought this would be a get-together that wood be so good. I looked forward to this for so long. Why she got so mad and snotty to me I'll never understand.

This is the .most hard to understand thing that has ever happened to me. I guedd - in life - there's a lot we're not meant to understand.

[Buffy01]

I been feeling really emotional when I'm not feeling angry.

Today was a pretty good day emotionally at work. But it's still the same ole' thing there since the lockdown.

I was very encouraged by those who replied to me on the Anxiety Forum. I'm still not feeling the best at my place. Maybe that not-so-good feeling will fade away. One woman at my job was very helpful to me.

[88Butterfly88]

I feel pretty depressed today.

[Breaking Dawn]

Doing better today. I think I got a little bit more sleep.

Very slow day today and it made the day drag. Very hot outside yesterday and today.

I've had back pain yesterday and today. I wonder if it's because of my new way of walking around at my place in order to keep it quiet for the downstairs neighbors.

Lately I have been talking to my friend and he sounds kind of tired and draggy. I feel like I'm not crazy about him. I know that I have said that many times. I wish I had someone else as a friend.

[3rd rock]

I ate too much for dinner and now I'm uncomfortably full. Should've stopped after sandwich and chips.

Handling medication a bit better. Depression is way down but anxiety is way up. I'm in an odd state where I'm in fear but sort of okay with it.

Work on books proceeding on schedule.

[Breaking Dawn]

I'm checking in to say I think it's wonderful that we can be here today.