Depression Vent Room for Misfits

Today I'm having a hard time not crying. Too much of everything. I yearn for genuine freedom & feeling safe. It seems like just when I was about to see light at the end of the tunnel, something ruins that. I will keep giving myself pep talks, but right now I feel really sad.

I’m so tired of snow and ice storms.

Many businesses are closed because of inclement weather. Our trash service isn’t picking up.

Tomorrow I’m going to try the virtual YMCA classes option. I’m assuming pre-recorded videos are uploaded.

I subscribe to a few exercise, yoga channels on YouTube and have a few exercise videos that I own.

I’m not comfortable going in-person to the YMCA or any gym.

We don’t have masks mandates and a lot of people are out in public (grocery stores, post office etc) with masks on.

I’m actually happy just taking my weekly trips to Whole Foods and Sprouts. Lol

Everything else I do is virtually except my medical appointments.

I’m going through a bad break up with someone I really loved and still do. My therapist and others warned me there would be no happily ever after and that I dodged a bullet but that’s cold comfort right now. I don’t know how I’ll get through this.

Just realizing that stress is affecting me more than I realized and want to do yoga at least two to three days per week and meditation for 3-5 minutes after yoga. Several years ago yoga and meditation really helped my stress so want to try again. Things I’ve noticed besides TMJ pain worsening are eating too fast and occasionally stress eating. Don’t really overeat, but eating too fast is not healthy so will work on eating more slowly. Hugs to everyone.

Intense pain and depression this morning.

I hope you feel better soon, @Jennifer1967.

Yesterday evening I found out my maternal grandma’s health is not going well.

Hospice has been called in. I went to visit her yesterday and today.

I’m still processing my feelings, thoughts and my emotions.

I’m so tired of losing family.

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I’m working through the pain and loss I feel over a relationship that I thought would be forever. I realize now that even the positive aspects of the relationship weren’t healthy and there would have been no Disney ending. I am having periods of happiness now and looking towards my future so I think I’ll be okay. I’m meeting my daughter halfway to visit this morning so that will cheer me up.

Today I hurt.

I hope everyone has a peaceful Sunday.

Dear @Jennifer 1967, I'm glad you get to see your daughter today! I hope the two of you have a really wonderful day!

Best wishes to all misfits... from a (formerly active) member.

I’m feeling better and stronger today. I was hurting too badly to travel to visit with my daughter but we talked by phone for an hour and 15 minutes. We rescheduled for next week. I think I’ll pull through this.

Hugs to all

So good to see you! I hope you are well.

I'm glad you could at least talk with your daughter on the phone, & your day together is only postponed. I'm so sorry you were hurting so much. You have a really good attitude.

Has anyone read "Brave New World" ?

There's so much information coming at me - With euphoria but depression dragging me back to where I fully decayed in the past.

I need to let you all know... I will survive. But I can't be judged for my wanting of things immediately, the grasping of the future.

I'm a good person. But I am stupid of a smart person.

Torment was just a small part of it all. I needed to know that this is real, in the unrealness.

I can't fully appreciate life. Because I'm too scared to attempt to live.

I'm scared that way, too, @Desoxyn. And I worry about the dystopia kind of thing happening in a conditioned society's mind. The world these days is so difficult to figure out. And I think it naturally triggers ptsd in people with past traumas.

The stress is unreal from all of this. Everyone has brain fog.

I'm in a zombie apocalypse.

After a few off days on the couch, I’m on the move again. I’ll attend bible study this morning and then have lunch with friends. Therapy is later today and the church will drop off a delicious dinner around 5.

I do have some lingering sadness but overall my mood is good and I’m hopeful for the future.

Hugs to all.

It sounds like you are going to have a really good day today! I am so very happy for you, dear @Jennifer 1967!

Thank you for always being so kind and thoughtful.

I'm thankful for a lot of things at this moment.

I’m down about a few things. A friend, my daughter, my potential diagnosis, my recovery. I’ve spent a few days crying but think I’m on the upswing now. I hope. I hurt inside and feel down.

I'm doing all that I can think of to smooth away the fear. And I do believe I am going to be better pretty soon.

I feel overwhelmed and stressed. It's so much that I am crying. It's not really depression. It's distress and fear.

I don’t ascribe to a lot of dominant society social norms, beliefs, gender norms or expectations…

I find it offensive when advised to “get over” the loss of a loved one.

I don’t feel or ascribe to grief having a time period.

I view journaling, blogging and posting on forums the same.

I post on here and chronic illnesses Facebook groups, to process my thoughts , frustrations, brainstorm, brain dump and to laugh.

It does not mean everyone is seeking advice or need a FIX.

It’s important to assess IF questions or feedback were ASKED.

And it’s important to leave the person alone when asked.

It does not matter if you have the best of intentions, feel you were being nice because people have the right to be left alone and NOT want your unsolicited feedback.

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My depression spikes when I experience chronic illness(es) flare ups.

I’ve been experiencing a chronic illness(es) flare up for 6 weeks straight.

I’m now at the irritability phase and getting teary eyed during sad movie scenes.

I’m working on feeling comfortable with crying.
Crying was not an acceptable emotion in my childhood household, accept when someone took their final journey.

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