Depression Vent Room for Misfits

You're always kind and supportive @Breaking Dawn
Much love to you

''weathered faces lined in pain''

there is more to life than ''doing things''

or I thought there was

Today was housecleaning day. I'm pooped out...

I'm feeling really low this morning. And my online therapy is making it worse. I feel all alone. I think of my situation with my family, and none of them care about me. My own daughter doesn't even care. I could disappear and it wouldn't even matter.

I am not “good enough” for this thread

I do not “pull my weight” as the maternal unit informed me.

A starving bear does not weigh much

I wish I could exit

Online therapy - or any therapy - making things worse, I know of a few people this has happened to.

“Therapy” - hatchet style - made me worse too

Therapists require empathy... or they are worse than useless.

Nothing much happening here today... had to walk over to my local supermarket pharmacy to pick up my Clonazepam prescription. This is what passes for excitement nowadays. Oh well... I guess it could be worse.

I'm adding to my collection of stuffies

Hmmm, I like the idea of adding stuffies. They are comforting. I know I love all of mine. It's funny, when no one understands, if you don't have a real alive dog or cat, or goat, or whatever, your stuffies will understand.

I feel really sad this morning. I've been doing nothing but tasks. I am so far behind. I'm unable to relax.

I wrote in reply to another thread that my whole life is an illusion I maintain for my spouse. A real me (whatever that is... I don't even know for certain) barely exists at all.

Hi, Mountain Dew and everyone! I've been away for a while, lurking without signing in. Sorry for disappearing. I wish I was more reliable. The posts in this thread made me decide to say hi. It's a wonderful thread

Sometimes it feels like I am being suffocated by my own breath.

I can't even get breathing right.

Dear @Purple,Violet,Blue, It's so wonderful hearing from you again!! Thank you so very much for posting here!! I look forward to hearing whatever you can tell us!! A great big welcome back!!

Much love to you (and your snake and cub)

Welcome back Purple,Violet,Blue

Thank you so much for the welcome back, Breaking Dawn You are such a lovely person

Thank you, Fuzzybear. I've really missed you and everyone, and I'm sorry that I seem to have to duck out every now and then

@Purple,Violet,Blue, hi! It's good to see you again. I look forward to reading your posts. Take care.

Thank you so much, Deilla I'm very grateful for your words

Spending too much time on Youtube lately. Some of what I watch is about the world economy crash that is here for some (if you don't have a good job) or is coming to additional people. I also view many sermons and do a lot of cooking for my family. Need to spend more time building up my online student ESL teaching--I am down to only regular student. I had many students at this time last year but had to drop many slots during chemotherapy. Since I worry about money, I need to improve my income. Our income would be adequate if we weren't taking care of two adult children. I am grateful that we all currently have food and shelter. I have learned to worry less about what is going to happen to our children than I used to but still do this to some extent sometimes.

I'm a little down this morning. I just don't know what to do with myself long-term. I have health issues. I try to tell myself that right now I'm in recovery. That should be my main focus. And that means lowered stress and more relaxation.

You will learn to live with it all togheter, Deilla! Remember one step at a time. If somebody had asked me 2 years ago about my long-term goals, I would have said I did not have any. I would have had more then enough to cope from one day to the next.

The first goal always has to do with how to cope NOW. When one feels that one can master the here and now with a set-back now and then, a long-term goal will probably pup up, because "things" in life function by themselves. There is more energy avaliable and the wish to use that enery pups up.

For now, let your long-term goal be just to cope one day at a time.

Take care!

The new rover being delivered to Mars next month is named Perseverence, a good name. It's kind of inspirational. I'm weird. I feel inspired by a robot! Ha ha.