Depression Vent Room for Misfits

I just happened to be helping her. I have become more cynical and a little more bitter as time has gone on. Thanks anyway.

No, I'm not feeling okay. I'm starting to wish I wouldn't wake up, and then I wouldn't have to need God anymore.

Mother just got mad at me for not getting an item at the grocery store. Life has conspired to make me miserable and I hope I'll be gone.

Remember I"m a misfit for life. laughs. That's God's will.

Just finished mixing up a bread dough I'll bake tomorrow. I didn't really want to do it. (Doesn't seem like I want to do much of anything anymore.) But I forced myself. I wish I at least felt good about the fact I did it. But I don't...

Do you have to interact with her?

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It's late and I wish I could spend my evening doing something entertaining, but nothing seems appealing at the moment. I'm not ready for bed. I feel sad, lonely and bored. I don't know what to do with my time.

My therapist calls that mitigating factors. In my case, my paternal grandparents.

Well, anyone who would take on the persona of a werewolf isn't exactly sane. 🐺 I call myself Werewoman because my bipolar 1 makes me feel as though I'm changing, and it can happen in the blink of an eye. I say and do things that either I don't remember doing or doing bad, destructive things.
I take ketamine infusions every three weeks and lithium daily. It's keeping me alive.
Now if I could just find someone who can tolerate me. My family tries, but they are so ignorant about MI and sometimes say really hurtful things. At least I know I'm safe with my husband. He takes care of me.

Went out to dinner yesterday with my spouse and her relatives. I literally haven't done this in years. It was awful. (No one's fault. I just have no tolerance for this sort of thing anymore.)

My ex asked me back. After I said yes, he ignored me for two days. There was no excuse. He told me he was off of work. I'm not playing his sick game. I deactivated my account, blocked his number and deleted him from chat. I hate to ghost somebody but in this case, it was warranted. I've been very upset about this. I'm upset that I let myself get in this situation. People shouldn't be trusted. No matter what. Not even family, cause they can hurt you the worst.

In response to the post from the woman writing about her age and feelings. I am 49, and menopause is real, BUT, to be honest, the medical community just looks at it like a hormonal imbalance and that women "get that way" when the age. I disagree!!! I think it is a time in our life that God/the universe finally provide us the time where we are allowed to not just be the warm, comforting, always thinking of others caretakers. It is a time in our lives where we are supposed to be able to expect others to do those things for us, finally show the appreciation and respect we deserve but didn't always get. Yes, there can be balances missing chemically, but I think it is more than that. We are no longer child bearing age, but we are powerful and ready to stand up for ourselves in ways we may not have been permitted to before. The problem is, it usually isn't received well, and we get written off, ridiculed, and denied of our life's unmet needs. Just some random thoughts.

I'm sorry I haven't reported here in a while. I was reminded of here by someone else's thread about being a misfit. I am feeling depressed at the moment. I feel disappointed in myself. I keep letting myself down. I don't do enough to improve my situation. I'm not getting enough sleep. I make good plans but seldom fulfill them. When I do fulfill them I feel happy, so it's very important that I keep trying. Anyone else feel this way?

I do. Hugs and much love.
Hope you feel better soon. And please keep on praying and wishing for me.

Thank you, MimiBhaduri0. And much love to you, too! I will keep praying for your escape & I hope the rest of your day there will be ok for you.

I can relate to meeting goals and feeling good. If I don't meet my goals, I feel bad. So I try every day to do something. I haven't been feeling well lately because of pain. It makes it hard to achieve goals. I think I need a break. I need some downtime to recuperate. I'll worry about goals later.

Not feeling well. Drowsy and depressed and getting panic attacks. It is 1:30pm, still can't get out of bed. I have diarrhoea today, so just getting up to go to the bathroom, then back to bed again. In physical pain from time to time as well...sensation of pins and needles being stuck in my nose which is causing pain and sneezing. Hope I feel a little better as the day progresses.
I feel a desperation to get out of here....

I'm so sorry, Mimi. I hope you will be better very soon.

Thank you.

I'm so sorry, Mimi! Hope you feel better soon!

Thank you.

Got out of bed around 11:15am to feed my cats. Cleaned a couple of litter boxes. That's it. Not brushed my teeth or made the bed ....laying down in bed again. Very depressed and getting panic attacks. Very little motivation to do anything. I am tired of being sick every day. I hope this ordeal ends soon.