Confessions of little turtle with love #6

Little turtle please please help me. I am very very sad and feel alone all the time. I have no one in India I can share my thoughts with. I talk to the cats/kittens, but the poor things don't understand.
The health care system in India, especially psychiatry and therapy, are not good at all.
I feel that I can't go on....
😢
I checked my blood pressure today - it is 104/68 and pulse is 67. Is that ok?

dear mimi....you have strength inside you...i see that strength...

Thanks, you are so nice. It's been a long time since a pdoc was nice to me.

My thoughts: Once people used to refer to me as a royal warrior and a fighter and now...I am a loser, an idiot, someone people can ridicule, I have no right to live in this world. I have no use in this world. I am worthless. I should die.
Sorry I am a bit hysterical but I'm suffering not only mentally but physically too. Apart from the diarrhea, I feel too dizzy and have very strong nausea. I'm forcing myself to eat.
Btw sorry that I edited my post.

Will you all please help me to love my inner cub? I am gradually losing my self confidence and the will to live. Atm I only live for my cats/ kittens. I wish I could tell you my whole life story. But I can't. As you know, my biological mom does not love me and my biological dad is a predator.
I have to stay alive if not for myself but for my pets. They are completely dependent on me.
I feel so helpless and powerless.

Mimi, perhaps loving your inner cub - at least in part - involves your cats.

How Rohag?

My cats/kittens :
My Tiger - Album on Imgur
My Leo - Album on Imgur
Simba the dwarf kitten - Album on Imgur
Daisy grooming her babies - Album on Imgur

The cats are adorable!

Thank you.

Little turtle, when I feel too stressed and restless, nothing works other than ativan, not even klonopin. I have become an ativan addict.

A few songs that help me when I feel I can't go on any more:



In God is my trust.

Love and respect to all on the AS IS BUS.

Fuzzy did you ever try ativan? If yes, what side effects did you have to face?

2 more nice song:s

I don't know. It seems significant the cats have the ability to get you to focus outward. Even if only briefly, the cats draw you into their world and out of your own. They may be better than many medications.

I find anything that gets me out of my own thoughts helps.
Interesting! Ativan (lorazepam) was the most effective anti-anxiety prescription I've ever taken. It would almost put me to sleep at a standard, low dose. As it was so effective, I was afraid I might reduce its effect by taking it regularly, so I only took it on an as-needed basis regardless of the prescribed directions.

You are correct Rohag. I love them like my own children. Because I can't get love from my biological parents, I have invested all my love in my cats/kittens.

I think I am going to revert to klonopin 0.25 mg and take ativan 2mg only when I am severely agitated.

Love and respect to all on the AS IS BUS

i need to be kind to myself

Feeling very sick today, very weak and faint and feel like I'm going to collapse any moment. Much nausea as well. The oxygen level in my brain must have dropped again.

Love and respect to all on the as is bus.

I wish I had a guardian angel.....

Much love to all on the AS IS bus

So very true little turtle. Today ativan 2 mg saved me. I think it helps with nausea too.
Love and respect to all on the as is bus.