Confessions of little turtle with love #6

These complement one another well.

Observing Myself #1: The "work in progress" has not "progressed" at a constant, consistent rate throughout my life.

Observing Myself #2: Often I have - to my injury - uncritically accepted others' assessment of my "progress" (or "regress").

Hope this makes someone smile

a poem from omar khayyam-------

the moving finger writes
and having writ moves on
nor all your piety nor wit will lure it back to cancel half a line
nor all your tears wash away a word of it

I'm not sure about this one...
I haven't read anything else by omar k I don't think.

I don't think I have often uncritically accepted others' assessment of my ''progress'' (or ''regress'') ...(not since childhood anyway) but words can certainly have .. an effect... which can even cause injury if expressed in a pernicious enough way. Usually the ''giver''/sender of the pernicious words is talking more about themselves than the person they are judging. imho.

Love and respect to all on the AS IS bus

''Self supremacy''.... hmmm

The man who sold the world

David Bowie

Much love to all on the AS IS BUS

I have turned off the music, I must find a ''better'' way to listen to music, or anything else of interest at this time of night.

Nights are often very hard for me.

Headphones are not an option for me and I don't want to wake The Bear.

Much love to all on the AS IS BUS

love you little turtle

The question I have often asked myself is how much of my excessive fatigue is due to depression (& anxiety) itself and how much is due to the meds I have taken to "treat" it?

All I think I can say is, regardless of their relative proportions, I am contending with at least those two sources of fatigue.

She is different, sometimes the voices
get too loud. She will doubt you,
herself and everything around her,
sometimes she won't even know how
to love herself. That's when you have to be
there and pull her back into
reality, that's when you have to love her
harder, silence those loud voices and
erase those doubts. That's when you
need to make her feel beautiful.

Much love to all on the bus who are AS IS

Hope....
There is no hope for me...All is lost.....
I wish it didn't have to be like this, but it is not in my hands.....

Love, hugs and respect to all on the as is bus.

dear mimi can you say more

Well, it seems like I will be stuck in India forever.
I can't adapt to the life here.

My biological parents don't care about me though they do let me stay with them, maybe bc in India parents don't ask their children to leave their parents' house once they grow up. But if I have an argument with my mom she does remind me that she is providing me food and shelter. My Dad molested me before, so I am not comfortable staying in the same house with him though he does not make any advance toward me atm. But I can't move out of my parents' house and live on my own bc I am tired and physically sick all the time and have to make an effort to stay out of bed, and so can't work.

My ex Indian American boyfriend and his people keep bothering me all the time. They have been virtually torturing me since I came to India with them in March 2014. My usa passport and papers are with him and he has refused to hand them over to me. I wrote to the US government and contacted one of their officials several times but they have not replied.

Finally my ex American online boyfriend has also dumped me.

So you see. I hate to be in so much physical and mental pain with no future.

Sorry for ranting. Most people won't believe my story but God knows that I am speaking the truth.

Mimi, did you contact someone at the consulate (US Citizen Services)?

Rohag nothing has worked. They just didn't issue me a duplicate passport. In fact I have been told by some government officials that I am delusional and not a us citizen. I don't know how to deal with this.

I wrote to some western journalists on twitter hoping that they may take up my case but they all blocked me one by one. That shows that they did read my messages, but did not want to be bothered by my problem.

I also wrote to an ex defense secretary's son(whom I knew personally) who is currently leading the US cyber command department, but he did not reply. However thankfully he did not block me like the others and I am grateful to him for that. He is my only hope. If he wants he can get me out of India back to usa. But looks like the US government wants me to stay in India for some more time for some reason.

But it is getting increasingly difficult for me to adapt to life here. I really don't know what to do.

but it is not in my hands.....quote from mimi

dear mimi i have a sense about you that you can be very strong...
what can you do to regain some of that strength...

I don't know little turtle. If you could please give me some suggestions?

dear mimi---this has to come from you

I really don't know...