Looking for accountability partners (task check in) #2

I felt so stressed yesterday. Just go-go-go. How much of that is because I had a lot of things to do vs. working myself up into a state? I am trying to stay calm today but am already feeling stressed.

These are my stressors.

1. The house is a mess. Lots of dirty dishes. I can only fit so many in the dish rack so when I start to get behind, it snow balls. Maybe I need to start drying them with a towel? That seems germ spready.
2. Revisions for things 1 and 2 are due next week. I have not worked on either for a couple of days. I also have new information for thing 3 that I need to add before I forget it.

3. I re-started a renovation project I stopped working on last year. I am SO CLOSE to finishing but it is the kind of thing where I can only do a little bit of work each day because it's physically challenging. If I worked consistently, I could wrap it up in a week. The room is a disaster until this is done.

4. I have a lot of phone calls and emails to return and feel like I have lost track of some.
5. I have some overdue library books I haven't read. I would like to bring these back today.

6. I am somehow double booking meetings and feel I have lost track of these as well. I showed up at one on the wrong day. This isn't really like me.
7. I really need an hour of exercise a day to keep my blood sugar under control but it is hard to fit that in.

8. The job situation. I need a more reliable source of income. I do not want to go back to my old career. I am close to breaking into a new one but it takes time and money.
9. My husband is driving me crazy. He would not pack his lunch today. If I didn't do it, he would go out to eat again. He also just constantly talks through every single thing he does with me. He reads me things from the internet I have zero interest in. He explains projects he is working on in minute detail that I don't even understand. I am an unwilling audience. He is going to be working from home again shortly and I feel an overwhelming sense of despair over this.


I'm not even sure listing all this makes me feel better. Maybe it's just another way to ruminate. I was hoping if I got it all down on paper, I could forget it. Instead, I look at the list and think 'oh, well, I will just take care of all of this today and then I will feel better.' That's not really possible. I can't do it all in a day.


Right now I am going to go out and run some errands. When I get back, I will work on revisions. Later today I will wash some dishes and start another cooking project. At some point I will need to work on my renovation project but I am dreading that.

I'm glad I took the time to straighten out my calendar because I had even more things mixed up. Dishes are caught up, worked on revisions, returned books, walked. Today I hope to
1. Work on renovation project.
2. Hike
3. Revisions. Finish thing 1, more progress on thing 2.
4. Start application due Dec 1.

Today the new maid is here helping get things straightened out for Thanksgiving as we’ll be having it here. My brother will be at a rehab facility for 4 weeks. The stress off of me is enormous. It will give me a huge break and time to find a place long term that will provide the care he needs. It’s getting too complicated for me unfortunately. I’m taking a day trip tomorrow to visit relatives and my daughter.
Today:
1. Clean the house
2. Make short and long term plans
3. Run errands

I hope everybody has a peaceful weekend.

All I did yesterday was hike. Today I am distracted by family drama.I would like to get some writing done today but am not ready to commit to it. I think the only thing I will commit to today is another hike.

I’m on my day trip to visit relatives. So far so good. It’s about a two hour drive. That will take most of the day and then we’ll stop and visit my brother at his rehab facility. When I get home, I have some studying to do for therapy.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

I hiked yesterday and didn't do much else. I started a book I decided not to finish. I made a plan for the work I have left on one project. I'm a little anxious because I am getting my booster today and I worry it will knock me off track.
1. Walk
2. Finish project.
3. Appointments

Yesterday was special - full of love, laughter and memories. It was a great day. I’ll spend this week getting ready for Thanksgiving. Thanks to the new maid the house is in great shape so that’s a lot off my plate.

Today:
1. Put order in for grocery delivery
2. Errands
3. Fine tune the house
4. Coffee with a friend
5. Therapy

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

I am still in pain, fingers, toes, elbows, back, shoulders, neck and more ...

I don't feel satisfied with my GP's statement that we will have more pain the older we become. The problem is that I know a lot of other people at my age without such pain. I want a diagnose. It must be some sort of rheumatism or fibromyalgia. For rheumatism one can have medications that help to some degree. For fibromyalgia there is not so much to be done other then to rest when needed and do physical exercises, but at least one has a medical diagnose and can feel OK (mentally) if one has to rest much. The way it is now, I feel complete exhausted and in pain and, not to forget; hopeless.

I have been able to cook today, emptied the dishwasher and hang up some washed clothes.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with a physiotherapist, since I am in pain, I don't dare to set up other items.

I wish everybody a good day and satisfaction with the doings you are able to get done!

I hope you can get a diagnosis, GoGo2. I would also find your GP's response unsatisfying. The pain is interfering with your life and needs to be addressed more than 'ah, just get used to it.'

I got my booster yesterday and am nervous about planning much today. I still need to finish my paper and should do that ASAP - last time, the shot after effects kicked in the next day around noon. I (as usual) feel torn by so many priorities that it would probably be best if I just picked one to focus on and set the others aside for the moment.


I have one meeting I will probably cancel and an errand I might ask my husband to do instead.

I will take the time to sit down and write down the history connected to this. That will hopefully function as a preparation to talk to the GP about it again. May be I have not been clear enough.

I’m sorry you’re in pain. I hope you get some answers.

I will spend tomorrow putting the final touches on my Thanksgiving preparations. I was out and about all day today with mom: pedicure, visit to brother, movie, ate out - so I’ll be extra busy tomorrow.

I hope everybody has a peaceful day Wednesday.

I spent most of yesterday feeling lousy and didn't do much. Today I feel fine and will be back at it.
1. Finish paper.
2. Cooking project
3. Clean house

It’s almost here! I’m busy at work!

To those that celebrate Happy Thanksgiving!
To those that don’t I hope you have a wonderful day!

Yesterday was fine. I worked on my paper but did not finish, did my cooking project, and cleaned up a bit. Today I will
1. Finish paper.
2. Call my grandmother.
3. Visit with family.
4. Catch up on some emails.

I have felt stiff in my muscles after the gym today. Had to rest and didn't want to go out in the cold weather to buy groceries. That has to be done tomorrow.

My plans for tomorrow:

- Read about CBT.
- Do some exercises for my shoulders and arms.
- Self-hypnosis.
- Write a grocery list.
- Visit grocery store.
- Put the groceries on their right place when I come home.
- Some rest.
- Fill dishwasher and put it to work.
- Make a plan for Saturday.
- If there is time, prepare for continuing with my work again.

Send my best wishes for everybody's plans and doings!

Happy Thanksgiveing, Jen!

I’m going to spend the first half of the day having quality time with my daughter and the second half working on my den and my business affairs.

I wish everybody a peaceful Friday!

I feel relieved to have one paper done. Today I will focus on cleaning and a renovation project before some family visits. I have felt very overwhelmed with the amount of stuff we have lately. There isn't room for it.

I feel exhausted, down, sad and low in belief in myself. I have thought and thought about what I can do. May be I have to lower the expectation about what I am able to do each day? I don't know. I did make a plan for the whole week some time ago, but here I am doing less and less. I feel so sad, frustrated and overwhelmed.

I will take the weekend free from any plans and think the whole situation through.

A good weekend to each one of you!

I don’t know what to say but I support you and I send good thoughts and wishes that you feel better soon

GoGo2 I find setting my expectations lower can help a lot. When we set unrealistic expectations and then don't meet them, it makes us feel bad about ourselves, which makes it harder to get started. If I set the bar low and start meeting my goals, it seems to set up a positive feedback loop. It's especially tough when there is a medical issue on top of depression because it's hard to tell what's causing what. I hope the weekend off helps.

We got a lot done on the renovation project. My goal is to wrap it up this weekend. I need my husband's help but he just got his booster yesterday and I am not sure if he will feel up to it. I feel rushed to finish because I want to set up a Christmas tree and can't with this work in progress. Aside from that, I have another deadline to meet on the 30th and started a new project the other day that I'm really looking forward to getting back to.

I’ve spent much of the day under the weather but I am rallying. My brother is in the hospital again so I’ll drive mom down there to see him. Only 1 person allowed back per 24 hours so it will be her. When I get home I’ll straighten up a bit and bring the cans in then listen to a few inner work webinars. I had a great Thanksgiving and a wonderful time with my daughter.

I wish everyone a peaceful weekend!

Renovation project done, yay! All the furniture is back and most of the tools packed up. I have a spot ready for my tree, which I will probably get today.

1. Dishes
2. Set up tree skirt and stand.

3. Work on project due the 30th.

Thank you so much for the advice! I have rested through the whole weekend. Not that I have been in bed, but I did things in a slow motion. I woke up at 11.00 am, ate breakfast and viewed a sermon online. I had the curtains down, as if I felt too tired to draw them off the windows. I use to have a seven armed candle stick (electric) in a window during advent. It was almost dark before I draw the curtain and put the candle stick in the window. I used a long time putting the four advent candles at their place and I lighted the first candle. I bought a "just to heat dinner" yesterday, so I have had my meals. This slow motion felt wonderful. I have one more "quick to make dinner" for tomorrow, so I think I will continue this slow process Monday.

I think I am depressed and that this "just do what you are able to do" has lowered the depression for today. I will continue to take care of myself and do "things" in slow motion. There is no point to hurry. I am invited out for Christmas, so my goal, the way I see it for the moment, is to be able to be in a good mood for the celebration, so that we all can have a good time together during the season. I also have a friends gathering for dinner at a restaurant in the middle of December. I need to be relaxed and in good shape for that as well. My family will probably cancel the concert we were going to listen to together because of Corona. We have a new wave of people going to the hospital due to Corona here ...

Thanks again for your advice!