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  #176  
Old Sep 26, 2021, 08:23 AM
Anonymous32451
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sick to death of the fact that I hate my food.

seriously: in 7 days, all I've had that I like is a mcdonalds

tired of hunger

just want to eat something that agrees with me too which isn't nuggets
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  #177  
Old Sep 26, 2021, 09:48 AM
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puzzclar puzzclar is offline
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I hurt far too much and I know partly due to where I work. Waking up with stiffness stinks. My back feels like someone ran over it.

Hearing that I need another MRI on the same wrist 15 years later has me down. I feel like I can't do anything. I've taken a few more prn meds. Hoping it will help but so far, nope.

Can I make it to Tues where I get back on meds???? I need something to help. And a doc to listen to what's going on and figure out what will work. With as few of side effects as possible.

Due to fatigue, I think I'll stay home. Even if someone else drove I don't feel up to socializing.

Sent from my motorola one 5G ace using Tapatalk
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  #178  
Old Sep 27, 2021, 09:34 AM
regretful regretful is offline
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Haven't been this down in years. Hoping for a better day, but it's not looking too good at the moment. When depression gets a hold of me, it's relentless. Best to all of you in your personal struggle with this invisible monster.
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  #179  
Old Sep 27, 2021, 10:08 AM
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I've been irritated this morning but it's starting to get better. I did a mindfulness meditation, which helped me to relax. I'm doing some DBT/CBT exercises at the moment. They are helping. Now I just need a distraction.
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‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #180  
Old Sep 27, 2021, 12:30 PM
Anonymous41141
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I'm feeling like a deep depression that I used to have is making a comeback. I've been waking up in the morning not feeling like getting out of bed. I had not felt that way in a while. I don't know if it's just natural or because of circumstantial. Last week was a weird week as troubles seemed to have been set up for me. As of now I feel like I'm recovering from it. Also I have anxiety about a trip coming up and having to make a major decision about possibly moving.

Last night I watched a movie that had a good story but it upset me seeing the suffering and dying of others. I don't know why I end up watching those kind of movies. I shouldn't. I'm a highly-sensitive person (HSP) so it doesn't take much to bring me down.
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  #181  
Old Sep 28, 2021, 05:14 PM
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I am quite concerned with getting post op depression. I’m already depressed about other things right now. I think since it’s been getting dark so early now that’s making me feel down. I’m trying to take it easy and not stress too much since stressing out will just make things worse.
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  #182  
Old Sep 28, 2021, 07:27 PM
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Today has had its ups and downs. At the moment I am tired but I'm not ready for bed yet. I'm in a long queue to play my game. I want to play for a while before going to bed.
__________________
‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #183  
Old Sep 29, 2021, 12:37 AM
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I am worried there might be something wrong with my truck. I feel a vague grinding sometimes (not all) when I press the brakes. My first thought was need new brake pads but this doesn't sound anything like worn out pads. It's too light and intermittent. If I need to take my truck in I can only do so on Friday which I have off. Due to covid the only shop I trust isn't open on weekends. Any time other than Friday will necessitate missing work, and I already miss too much work due to chronic depression. I will wait and see if it gets any worse between now and Friday morning.
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  #184  
Old Sep 29, 2021, 04:16 PM
regretful regretful is offline
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Tough days. Pandemic blues; business blues; missing family and friends (grieving the losses)...and just all around sad.
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  #185  
Old Sep 29, 2021, 10:41 PM
Anonymous41141
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Lately I'm feeling generally sad and anxious. I feel sad as I feel like I don't have good quality friends and family at all. And I feel anxious about my trip coming up in a couple of weeks. A good part of me doesn't feel like going, but I feel like I must. I need to get away from the place where I am now that brings me down and I'm going on that trip to scout out if I want to move there. And that's another thing, not feeling at home where I am and feel like I have to move. And having to do this at my age instead of feeling like being settled because of loving where I am now.
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  #186  
Old Sep 30, 2021, 11:37 PM
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September was the worst month for book sales since I started publishing. Maybe October will be better.

My boss finally spoke to me about my problematic attendance. I'll try to do better moving forward.
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  #187  
Old Oct 01, 2021, 04:59 PM
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I'm feeling like I'm in a funk. Today it's hot outside and the heat doesn't help my depression. It seemed like September was not a great month as problems and blunders on my part happened. I felt terrible about the blunders because I probably pissed off some people and didn't mean to. Come to think of it, this year has not been great, or it just went downhill from April.

This may sound weird, but late this morning I was seeing an apartment house next door to me being tented for termites. Now that the canvas has covered that house, it looks unsightly. I'm wondering where are those tenants going to stay? It got me upset seeing it.

I really need a dose of hearing a song that would cheer me up. It's called "Weave Me The Sunshine" by Peter, Paul, and Mary. I think other artists have done that song, too.
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  #188  
Old Oct 01, 2021, 05:02 PM
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I had a hard day. I stayed in bed mostly. My cats slept with me so that was a comfort. I'm trying to be awake for a little while now, but I just want to go back to bed.
__________________
‘Live for now,’

‘This too shall pass,’

‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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  #189  
Old Oct 01, 2021, 06:41 PM
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Ups & downs, yes. But at the moment, I seem to be doing pretty good. I've been in a spiritual mode today. I've googled some good articles about nice things, & I fulfilled some goals today, which made me feel like less of a loser.
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"Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot)

"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller)

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  #190  
Old Oct 02, 2021, 03:05 AM
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My landlord is accusing me of failing to keep a clean apartment, and threatening me with eviction in the future if it happens again. My apartment is adequately clean and I believe they are just trying to evict me so they can rent out the apartment at double the rent to someone else. I currently pay way below market rate for a suite like this. I only started having these issues after the property was sold to a new owner approximately 2 months ago. For the previous 9 years I've never had any issues. So now I have to find a new place to live. They're going to keep harassing me and if they attempt to evict me I might be successful in fighting eviction through the Residential Tenancy Branch's dispute process, but I might not.
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  #191  
Old Oct 02, 2021, 06:25 PM
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I been feeling really depressed lately. For the past two days I been having really bad days.
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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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  #192  
Old Oct 02, 2021, 10:00 PM
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I'm just feeling really down. I also have mild flulike symptoms as of last night, but they're very, very mild. I'm probably going to be okay by Monday.
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  #193  
Old Oct 03, 2021, 05:31 PM
Anonymous41141
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Not much of a day today. I'm just taking a short bike ride today because it's very hot outside. I think that today is the hottest day of the year. I really hate the heat.

To 3rd Rock, I'm sorry to hear about your apartment manager. Lately I'm feeling the same way about where I live because I caused some blunders lately and feeling like my apartment manager is not crazy about me. Right now apartment vacancies are very low and feeling like I'm paying less than what I should. So it makes me feel that I really have to mind my p's and q's at where I am or I could be easily tossed out. Also, I hope you're feeling better with the flu-like symptoms.
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  #194  
Old Oct 04, 2021, 09:49 AM
regretful regretful is offline
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Just can't seem to shake this as the empty feelings are as bad as they've ever been. Depression is a terrible affliction that I would not wish on anyone. Best to all of you in your personal struggle with this invisible monster.
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  #195  
Old Oct 04, 2021, 06:16 PM
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Buffy01 Buffy01 is offline
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I been having some more bad days that are really taking a toll on me physically as well as mentally.
__________________
Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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  #196  
Old Oct 04, 2021, 11:36 PM
Anonymous41141
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I was feeling pretty good for most of the day today. Then tonight, my mood took
a tumble. I unfortunately came across a couple of narcissistic jerks tonight, who seemed to have sunk my mood down. Oh well, it happens. Get feeling good and then it doesn't last long.
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  #197  
Old Oct 05, 2021, 05:12 AM
Anonymous32451
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I had no sleep, and I have no plans for the day. just another day in the life of well.... me

I like the fact I'm wearing a halloween shirt today. it has a skull on it
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  #198  
Old Oct 05, 2021, 09:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by regretful View Post
Just can't seem to shake this as the empty feelings are as bad as they've ever been. Depression is a terrible affliction that I would not wish on anyone. Best to all of you in your personal struggle with this invisible monster.
Very well said!! Thank you for being here!!
__________________
"Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot)

"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller)

* * * * * *
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  #199  
Old Oct 05, 2021, 09:30 AM
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Breaking Dawn Breaking Dawn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by will19 View Post
I was feeling pretty good for most of the day today. Then tonight, my mood took
a tumble. I unfortunately came across a couple of narcissistic jerks tonight, who seemed to have sunk my mood down. Oh well, it happens. Get feeling good and then it doesn't last long.
I understand!
__________________
"Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot)

"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller)

* * * * * *
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  #200  
Old Oct 05, 2021, 09:46 AM
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Breaking Dawn Breaking Dawn is offline
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I am feeling a painful moment. I'm sure I will feel better later.
__________________
"Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot)

"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller)

* * * * * *
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