[MimiBhaduri0]

Originally Posted by will19

Nothing much to do for today. I plan on a long bike ride later on, but it seems like it's going to be very hot outside. This day has started out being hot already.

This morning I got a message from the management of the apartment I live at. It was a "reminders" kind of message; meaning that violations have happened. The message had a greeting saying, "dear ______ " (with my name inscribed) but it looked like a template or form letter to everyone else. I took it as being directed at me. But there were some violations that doesn't apply to me (such as dogs, which I don't have). So maybe it wasn't directed at me. The concern I had was about the jacuzzi from last night because I had touched the emergency switches, which wasn't supposed to happen. I did it because the jacuzzi was working strangely. I should have reported it, but I feel shy about having to report problems. I've reported problems so many times and I don't want to be a pain in the butt. Unfortunately there are some people living at my place who are inconsiderate of others.

I woke up feeling anxious about the trip coming up next month and having to move out sooner or later. I'm depressed because I wish I could be content and settled at where I am now. But getting that message this morning has encouraged me all the more to leave; among many other things going on in my area. It's like someone out and around is telling me to leave.

Did you already find a new place to move to?

[regretful]

As the misery continues, the difficulties with daily life keep piling on with seemingly no end in sight. Depression; an unwelcome companion - a terrible monster - and a relentless beast.

Originally Posted by MimiBhaduri0

Did you already find a new place to move to?

No I haven't. The trip I have planned for next month is at a place I'm going to so that I can "scout" out the area to see if I want to move there. I have posted about that previously on here. My lease at where I am now will be up next June.

Originally Posted by regretful

As the misery continues, the difficulties with daily life keep piling on with seemingly no end in sight. Depression; an unwelcome companion - a terrible monster - and a relentless beast.

So sorry to hear that. I totally agree about depression being a "beast". For me, I don't know if it's circumstance(s) or if the depression is just natural for me. In the last couple of weeks there's been lots of little things going on to pull me down. Each item is no big deal in itself, but a little bit can pull me down.

Other than that, what's unfortunate for me is there is a period when I'm wallowing in good times and all I think about is that it's all coming to an end, being replaced by bad times. For some strange reason, I feel more comfortable in bad times than good. Maybe it's because I've had so many bad times that I have been acclimated to and feel out of kilter when good things happen.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by regretful

As the misery continues, the difficulties with daily life keep piling on with seemingly no end in sight. Depression; an unwelcome companion - a terrible monster - and a relentless beast.

Well said!! And I'm sorry. Also
I can relate quite a bit too often. I hope things get better for you soon.

[shortbread]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I have an appointment on Friday. I'm stressed about it.

I wish you luck I stress about appointments too. I try to just say to myself "it will go bad or it will go well, but worrying about it isn't going to influence the outcome" easier said than done, I know, but it helps a little - that and lots of distraction.

I was supposed to have an MRI in 2020, I used covid as an excuse to cancel. And then I kept cancelling all the rescheduled appointments. I am so claustrophobic, that I could not sleep in the weeks leading up to the appointment. The only way I could sleep is if I would cancel I think if they'd notified me with a phone call saying " you're appointment is tomorrow" I'd go through with it, but it doesn't work that way, the notifications go out months or weeks in advance. My last cancellation I just told them to stop rescheduling and I never did have that MRI


Thank goodness other appointment do not involve laying in a narrow tube, and and I can muster the courage to attend

I hope all goes well for you on Friday, Deilla. I tell you the story of my MRI freakout, in hopes that it makes you feel if not less anxious, but less down on yourself for feel anxious .

[regretful]

Originally Posted by will19

So sorry to hear that. I totally agree about depression being a "beast". For me, I don't know if it's circumstance(s) or if the depression is just natural for me. In the last couple of weeks there's been lots of little things going on to pull me down. Each item is no big deal in itself, but a little bit can pull me down.

Other than that, what's unfortunate for me is there is a period when I'm wallowing in good times and all I think about is that it's all coming to an end, being replaced by bad times. For some strange reason, I feel more comfortable in bad times than good. Maybe it's because I've had so many bad times that I have been acclimated to and feel out of kilter when good things happen.

Thank you will19. I appreciate the sentiments...it is definitely circumstances for me that led to this. And lately, they keep piling on and stacking up.

I just wish that I could shake this instead of it shaking me...

[regretful]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

Well said!! And I'm sorry. Also
I can relate quite a bit too often. I hope things get better for you soon.

Thank you for the kind words Breaking Dawn. It's a terrible spot to be in; as the saying goes, "misery loves miserable company"....I'd like to believe that I'm on my way out of this mess, but the problems keep on keeping on...

[Mountaindewed]

I’m really down today. Mainly situational stuff but also the weather is getting to me early this season. Usually my SAD doesn’t start for another couple weeks. I went to Long Horn Steakhouse where I go whenever I’m down in the dumps and I think I’m going to have 911 called to my house. Now I’m in bed under my weighted blanket.

My mom was talking about Thanksgiving plans at lunch and I honestly just want to get through the next couple days. I can’t think about the holidays right now.

I'm feeling very depressed today. It's very hot outside and the heat makes me depressed. I went to visit my friend for the first time in a while. He's very much in pain from a fall he had a couple of weeks ago. He made some remarks to me that were hurtful. I guess it's just the pain that he's dealing with that was doing the talking. I didn't leave his house feeling too good.

[Deilla]

I feel bad. I canceled my appointment for Friday. And I really needed it. But I'm too stressed out and next week I have to take my cat to the vet. That's all I can handle at the moment.

[MimiBhaduri0]

Originally Posted by regretful

As the misery continues, the difficulties with daily life keep piling on with seemingly no end in sight. Depression; an unwelcome companion - a terrible monster - and a relentless beast.

(((regretful)))

[Deilla]

It's been just over a week that I quit vaping. It's still very hard. And things are getting stressful. I need to find better ways to manage stress.

[3rd rock]

I have learned that my GP is retiring soon. She has been my GP all my life. No one is taking over her practice. I now have to rush to get a new GP to ensure continuity for prescriptions.

[regretful]

Looking for the positives...I got out of bed this morning. I made it into my office. Unfortunately, depression has accompanied me from the time I awoke...I really hate this illness. I wish all of you well in your struggle against this terrible beast.

[88Butterfly88]

My depression wasn't so bad today but was still lingering in the background

[regretful]

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

My depression wasn't so bad today but was still lingering in the background

Those are good days, indeed. Happy for you.

Not much of a day today. Took a three hour bike ride and it wasn't as hot as it was yesterday. The jacuzzi at where I live is up and running now. It was down for three days. I really missed it. It lifted my spirits to have it up again.

It's been a while since anyone has posted on the daily check in. For myself it's been a rough week. I caused a couple of blunders at my place that I didn't mean to do. And I feel very bad about it.

This morning, while eating a nice breakfast, I overheard someone outside of my place harassing and arguing with the manager. It made me sick. Unfortunately there's been a lot of weird, homeless people around who just want to cause trouble. Well, speaking of trouble, it seems like lately it has been finding me. I never go out to cause trouble, it just seems like troubles come to an unsuspecting me. It's like there's some kind of curse or spell cast upon me.

And by the way, it's the second time this week that my breakfast got ruined because of stuff going on outside. It's just difficult to eat when chaos is going on around me.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by will19

It's been a while since anyone has posted on the daily check in. For myself it's been a rough week. I caused a couple of blunders at my place that I didn't mean to do. And I feel very bad about it.

This morning, while eating a nice breakfast, I overheard someone outside of my place harassing and arguing with the manager. It made me sick. Unfortunately there's been a lot of weird, homeless people around who just want to cause trouble. Well, speaking of trouble, it seems like lately it has been finding me. I never go out to cause trouble, it just seems like troubles come to an unsuspecting me. It's like there's some kind of curse or spell cast upon me.

And by the way, it's the second time this week that my breakfast got ruined because of stuff going on outside. It's just difficult to eat when chaos is going on around me.

Very interesting!

Originally Posted by will19

Unfortunately there's been a lot of weird, homeless people around who just want to cause trouble.

I just want to note that I hope I didn't offend anyone on here about the homeless. Because it just occurred to me that some on here said that they were homeless, or they are that now. I didn't mean to say all homeless people cause trouble. So I hope to set the record straight and I apologize to anyone who may have taken this the wrong way.

[Deilla]

I did okay today. I had one really bad moment, but I journaled. It helped. And then I got out of the house.

barely had any motivation to do anything today
listened to a story on my alexa though- that was okay, better than the alternative... sat in silence.

[Mountaindewed]

I was off and on today. For awhile I was depressed. Then ok. Then I got depressed and tired this afternoon but I took a walk and then drank a couple sodas and ate some Cheetos Mac and cheese. I didn’t realize how much I needed to eat and how much it would help. Now I feel fine because of my Geodon and a Valium that I took an hour ago.

[Breaking Dawn]

I've been trying to keep myself distracted & to maintain a good attitude. My main problem right now is feeling too tired to stir up some ambition for getting things done.