[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

Dear @TheGal, this thread is for members who struggle with depression, so everyone here understands how hard it is for you while you keep trying. Thank you for sharing your feelings here. It helps all of us, knowing we are not alone. I'm sending you a wish filled with special loving energy from the knowing cosmos.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by MimiBhaduri0

I am not well. I hope...I wish I see better days soon, very soon....I cant go on like this any more.

I’m sorry

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I'm making good progress on rewrites of my novel. I rewrote the first chapter, in the hopes that this will 'hook' an editor and/or agent better. They always request you send in a sample, usually of the first ten pages or the first chapter, so it's important to have a good first chapter.

It takes time to write a novel

[Rose76]

I'm not feeling too chipper. I got my apartment all cleaned and spruced up. That does give me a nice lift. But I'm not wanting to go anywhere or mingle with other humans. I don't feel really depressed, but I keep wanting to just do nothing.

[Samicat]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I was down all day - no interest in doing anything constructive . . . still in my pajamas. Not really sad. Just sick of making an effort.

My bleeding ulcer was under good control, and I had fully recovered from severe anemia. I was so glad to be in good shape, anticipating the holiday season. Then I started throwing up blood last week and went to the ER . . . for the 5th time since May. The stomach ulcer had opened up. I'm now anemic again.

I have to go for endoscopy . . . again. I'm so disappointed.

I do realize this is not like having cancer, or heart disease, or a stroke. People go through way worse health issues than I'm having. But I'm just sick of it . . . partly because I am alone and have to hire someone to drive me to get this procedure.

That sounds awful to me. What age are you? I know in my mother's city there's a service to drive seniors to and from medical appointments and it's $12

When I had an endoscopy I basically just told them to skip the sedation as I don't have much of a gag reflex. It's was uncomfortable but not too bad. Then I was able to get the bus home.

[Rose76]

@Samicat That post you looked at is pretty old. I had the endoscopy. I hired someone to take me. I'm ok now, thanks.

While in bed before getting out this morning my mind was filled with dreadful thoughts. Especially for the future, like in a few years from now when I'm pretty old. After breakfast I didn't feel much better emotionally. Today I have been feeling rather gloomy.

In the early morning I did some light shopping. In the late morning I decided to work out despite having a sore back. I was able to do all of the exercises except for the sit-ups. I felt better after the exercising with my back feeling a little bit better and felt better emotionally.

Spring is my least favorite season. I feel depressed a lot. And part of summer, too. Also I feel scared on how time is passing by so quickly.

[Samicat]

Originally Posted by will19

While in bed before getting out this morning my mind was filled with dreadful thoughts. Especially for the future, like in a few years from now when I'm pretty old. After breakfast I didn't feel much better emotionally. Today I have been feeling rather gloomy.

In the early morning I did some light shopping. In the late morning I decided to work out despite having a sore back. I was able to do all of the exercises except for the sit-ups. I felt better after the exercising with my back feeling a little bit better and felt better emotionally.

Spring is my least favorite season. I feel depressed a lot. And part of summer, too. Also I feel scared on how time is passing by so quickly.

Glad you felt better after exercising - I always do too, no matter how hard it is to make myself do it.

I'm scared about my future too. I do try not to worry about the future. As Senecca said, "We suffer more in thought than in reality."

[LadyShadow]

I am in a so so good place. Going to all these recovery meetings, plus my job, visiting my husband and sponsoring women is a whole lot! I am so burnt out, but I know it's for the good of my own recovery and mental health that I keep pushing forward. I hope ya'll are in good spirits tonight! <3

Originally Posted by Samicat

I'm scared about my future too. I do try not to worry about the future. As Senecca said, "We suffer more in thought than in reality."

That's a nice quote from Senecca and I feel it's true. It's hard to not worry about the future. It's easy to come up with cleaver quotes and cliches than to put worrying away. It's a crazy world out there lately, but even if the world's not crazy, life can still be difficult at times. I know I'm a "the glass is half empty" guy than the opposite of that. Thank you for replying to me.

[Rose76]

Yes, @will19, it's a crazy world out there for sure. I guess we should pat ourselves on the back for retaining whatever shreds of sanity we manage to hang on to. I was really worry recently that some people in a group I just joined may find me strange and somewhat "out there," because I am a bit odd. I was thinking they all seem so confident and on top of their game. Now I'm reminding myself that I don't hardly know them. Doubtless, they each are screwed up one way or another. Anyone I've ever really gotten to know has had their own brand of nuttiness, so I need to stop idealizing strangers as being so much better than me that I should run from them.

[Buffy01]

I been feeling really depressed :hug today

I felt like I squandered the day today. I didn't do much. I felt depressed about it. My back is still sore but getting better.

[Samicat]

Originally Posted by will19

That's a nice quote from Senecca and I feel it's true. It's hard to not worry about the future. It's easy to come up with cleaver quotes and cliches than to put worrying away. It's a crazy world out there lately, but even if the world's not crazy, life can still be difficult at times. I know I'm a "the glass is half empty" guy than the opposite of that. Thank you for replying to me.

I want to point out that you saying "it's easier to come up with clever quotes and cliches than to put worry away" in response to a quotation from me sounds like you are belittling my response, not thanking me. I hope this was not your intent.

I don't "come up with clever quotes and cliches." I am studying Stoicism and Senecca is a major Stoic figure. I think the thing about quotes (as opposed to cliches) is that they often succintly encapsulate something we know to be true but have not put into words ourselves.

And as I indicated, I struggle with worry myself. It helps me to think of how people I admire dealt with worry.



Peace

[Buffy01]

my siblings :hug and niece keep ganging up on me

I had a pretty good day today. I was busy in the morning with some light shopping. I was busy in the afternoon also. I got myself a nice dinner for tonight; something I haven't had in a long time.

[Buffy01]

I woke up feeling awful :sadhug today for no reason

Originally Posted by Buffy01

I woke up feeling awful :sadhug today for no reason

Sorry to hear that. It happens to me a lot.

[3rd rock]

I went to a burial this week. It was for an uncle, my mother's brother. I am feeling kind of depressed because of all the deaths in the family of late. Of my grandparents' generation, only one remains, one of my mother's aunts. And of my parents generations, a few have died. It makes me ponder my own mortality. It also makes me think that my own failure to form meaningful relationships means that when I ultimately die there will be no one to be there when I finally die. I should meet a nice woman and have children. But I can't because I'm too socially retarded to form real relationships. I'm sorry for the profane language in this post, but it's just how I feel.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by will19

Sorry to hear that. It happens to me a lot.

That is so true

I was busy this morning but nothing much after lunch. I called a friend of mine from college to wish him a happy birthday. I felt like it didn't go well.

I have a lot to do tomorrow morning.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I went to a burial this week. It was for an uncle, my mother's brother. I am feeling kind of depressed because of all the deaths in the family of late. Of my grandparents' generation, only one remains, one of my mother's aunts. And of my parents generations, a few have died. It makes me ponder my own mortality. It also makes me think that my own failure to form meaningful relationships means that when I ultimately die there will be no one to be there when I finally die. I should meet a nice woman and have children. But I can't because I'm too socially retarded to form real relationships. I'm sorry for the profane language in this post, but it's just how I feel.

I’m very sorry :hug for your :hug loss. Grief can cause depression to become worse.

Had some ups and downs with my depression today. That's to be expected, I guess. I was busy this morning with an errand and taking care of the month end/beginning bills. I felt bad in bed before getting out but felt only a little bit better in the morning. I felt like I was over the bad feelings after a work out and lunch.

[Buffy01]

I been watching Louise Hay you can heal your life

[hiddenaway]

Ever feel like absolute garbage to the point where you just know you won’t want to get out of bed in the morning?

Well, that’s exactly how I feel. I’m hoping a good night’s sleep might help, but I don’t think it’s likely. Depression is fun. #not