[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Rosi700

I am starting to feel somewhat better from the flu and depression is lifting as well.

That is awesome

I was feeling OK and it had been a pretty good week so far but now I feel down. My friend and I just had an argument and I decided to let him go. He disagrees with me on everything, doesn't understand me, and has been acting weird.

I have a new problem now. A single-older woman moved in next to me and she seems kind of nice. Except that she has a small dog that barks at me whenever I come in or out. I find it annoying. I don't know how I could approach her about it. I know that people care a lot about their dogs but I don't find it cute when they bark at me. It's gone on for a while. I could go to my apartment manager about it, but I hate to go behind that woman's back. I've had neighbors go behind my back to complain about that things I do living in my place that I can't help.

[Rosi700]

The same: Better, but not well enough. Perhaps I will dare to go outside tomorrow. I will have to wait and see.

Some good things happened to me today but then there's not so good things. The not so good things are more important to me than the good things are.

The good - my friend made up with me from last night. He came over to visit me and it went alright. Also, I've noticed that the dog next door to me hasn't barked at me all day. Maybe that woman got the message. I never said anything but it seems like it's working.

The bad - first of all, my bike is in the shop. I brought it there early this morning and it will be tied up for a couple of days. It needed some work. But the worse news is that the Jacuzzi at my place that I loved may never open again. I just asked a maintenance man working on it (he was draining the water) and told me that the Jacuzzi needs to be re-plastered and those workers are unavailable. He then told me that it's possible that the Jacuzzi will never open for use. Four years ago, when I was looking for a new place to live, when I saw that Jacuzzi I was sold. NOW IT'S POSSIBLY GONE FOR GOOD! I feel like I'm in a state of grief. I never thought it would happen.

[Buffy01]

I been feeling awful today

[Rose76]

Someone dear to me has died. I'm not depressed, just grief-stricken. I have to figure out if I can manage to travel to the funeral. It's very far away.

[Stillhuman]

I’m doing well but as soon as I have to be social I immediately feel like people=bad. Just social anxiety is my biggest struggle. I really try to remain positive about people but they just make me go 🤷sometimes.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Rose76

Someone dear to me has died. I'm not depressed, just grief-stricken. I have to figure out if I can manage to travel to the funeral. It's very far away.

I’m very sorry to hear that someone passed away :sadhug please take all the time you need :grouphug during this difficult times :sadhug.

[Rose76]

I'm having a hard time. Hot weather has always made it harder for me to fight depression. I don't go anywhere because of the heat. I don't do anything.

[Rosi700]

Originally Posted by will19

Four years ago, when I was looking for a new place to live, when I saw that Jacuzzi I was sold. NOW IT'S POSSIBLY GONE FOR GOOD! I feel like I'm in a state of grief. I never thought it would happen.

I am sorry!

[Rosi700]

Originally Posted by Rose76

Someone dear to me has died. I'm not depressed, just grief-stricken. I have to figure out if I can manage to travel to the funeral. It's very far away.

I am sorry!

[Rosi700]

I feel very tired. Today I need to go out to buy groceries. The weather is OK so I hope that I will do fine at my "grocery-trip".

[Rose76]

By last evening I was awful depressed. This morning I don't feel so bad, but I know that can go bad any minute. I have to clean up my place, which will help me get back on track.

[Buffy01]

I feel like :sadhug having a disability :hug as caused me to feel depressed that is causing :rolleyes me to have self hatred towards myself

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Stillhuman

I’m doing well but as soon as I have to be social I immediately feel like people=bad. Just social anxiety is my biggest struggle. I really try to remain positive about people but they just make me go 🤷sometimes.

I think I can relate somewhat to this. I was about to reply to another thread but noticed the OP wanted to ''step away'' so out of respect I didn't reply. It was about complex grief I think. And that is part of my experience, complex grief.

I have been avoiding certain social get togethers IRL for a while now. I don't exactly think people = bad but on some level maybe I do. Or rather, more accurately, those groups of people = bad for me to be with. The people have not been understanding of me or even that friendly, to be honest. And I do not believe I did, or didn't do, anything to ''deserve'' what feels like that lack of respect and appreciation from those people I do not find their behaviour towards me endearing.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I think I can relate somewhat to this. I was about to reply to another thread but noticed the OP wanted to ''step away'' so out of respect I didn't reply. It was about complex grief I think. And that is part of my experience, complex grief.

I have been avoiding certain social get togethers IRL for a while now. I don't exactly think people = bad but on some level maybe I do. Or rather, more accurately, those groups of people = bad for me to be with. The people have not been understanding of me or even that friendly, to be honest. And I do not believe I did, or didn't do, anything to ''deserve'' what feels like that lack of respect and appreciation from those people I do not find their behaviour towards me endearing.

I feel the same way

[Rosi700]

I think that both the flu and the depression have left me now!

[Rose76]

After 5 a.m. and I haven't slept. Miserable.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Rosi700

I think that both the flu and the depression have left me now!

Awesome

[Rose76]

I'm a mess. Depressed. Doing nothing that makes any sense.

It's early in the day now and I'm just having my first coffee of the day. I have been feeling depressed lately because I haven't been sleeping well and the hot weather. The mornings are not bad but late afternoon seems to be the worst.

I really didn't sleep well last night because I went to bed upset. I got into a verbal fight with one of the neighbors yesterday. The guy I got into a fight with is nasty and hostile. He said things to me that I can't even put down on here. It's that bad. And the manager heard about it and sent me an email last night. I replied back saying that I'd like to talk about what happened. I haven't heard anything from the manager so far this morning. Good God, I really hate those things.

[Rosi700]

Originally Posted by will19

It's early in the day now and I'm just having my first coffee of the day. I have been feeling depressed lately because I haven't been sleeping well and the hot weather. The mornings are not bad but late afternoon seems to be the worst.

I really didn't sleep well last night because I went to be upset. I got into a verbal fight with one of the neighbors yesterday. The guy I got into a fight with is nasty and hostile. He said things to me that I can't even put down on here. It's that bad. And the manager heard about it and sent me an email last night. I replied back saying that I'd like to talk about what happened. I haven't heard anything from the manager so far this morning. Good God, I really hate those things.

Sorry to hear about this!

[Rosi700]

The flu and the depression are gone, but I am compleate out of motivation.

[hiddenaway]

I have my first real appointment with my new PT on Wednesday and I’m kinda nervous. I mean, I think I’ll be okay once I get there, but still.

[Rose76]

I'm having another episode of depression. I pull out of an episode, but the episodes keep coming. I think not having anyone in my life that I can turn to makes this problem a lot worse. I've adjusted to being alone since my sig. other died. I can tolerate being alone pretty well. But it was nice to get the occasional phone call from my two sisters who live very far from me. For two years after my bf died, the calls came regularly - like once a month. A year ago one of my sisters stopped calling. I don't know why. She had previously been a good friend. I don't whine about depression to my sisters. As the old saying goes, "Cry, and you cry alone."

I feel a sense of loss. A few days ago a relative of mine died. She was very dear to me, and we had been close. I was hoping to visit her in the fall. That might be what plunged me into this episode. It's getting so frustrating that I keep having these episodes that, at times, I feel desperate to escape. I think how can I flee from this state of mind? This pattern will stop when I'm dead. I think how much longer do I have to keep living? So I think of suicide.

I think about looking for psychiatric help. I'm convinced there's nothing any doctor or counselor can offer that would help. I tried all that stuff. Someone caring about me would make a huge difference. I called my sister last evening. Things between us just aren't like they used to be.

I can't come up with a plan for how I'm going to get these episodes to lighten up. My only escape is sleep.