Loneliness and boredom

The big boredom, as I call it.

Its a long story to tell. But in my current situation I have no job, activities, or friends. Im 31yo.

Loneliness, its so hard to cope with. Because for not having friends or activities I can spend months and months without having a face to face conversation, or even a conversation using my voice.

I have family, Im not so close to them.

I cope using facebook, joining to random groups and talking with random people, but no meaningful conversations. Ive been joining to several kind of groups (mental health ones and random stuff) and I havent made any solid contact to just talk about life or interests.

Just recently I found a guy from my town in one group, we saw face to face last weekend. Its a good guy, but he has "social phobia", something that I dont. Well... I have my social problems, but he have them worse.

He is... how to say... I hate to say it, but Im smarter. But he is a nice guy, so, its a good contact to go out sometimes, but lets sat that its not blast.

So... well, coming back to my point... I also injured both of my knees, it took me like 11 months to recover (and not fully), so I cant go out all days, some days I can, some days my legs have too much pain.

Also Im comming back from a 8 year impass, I started having a TERRIBLE insomnia that lasted me 8 years. I just was able to stop with it by going to a psychiatrist with pills.

So well, thats quite the whole picture.

Anyone relates?

Hi!
A tough situation without doubt.
I’m sure many people here can relate. I would be glad if you get a lot of replies.
, I can relate but many years ago. That’s why I understand how much you’re struggling.

When you mentioned that you could go for months and months without a face to face interaction, it brought me my memories of seven years of isolation I lived and I know that it can be a nightmare because you feel each day more and more stuck and out of place. And whatever psychological issue you may have, gets worse and worse.

It’s good news that you, at least, recovered yourself from the legs surgery and also it’s good news that you are open to meet people online enlarging your possibilities to create bonds.
I would tell you keep going without dropping your attention to engage into irl activities so you will have the possibility to meet more people. Whatever activity you enjoy, look for the offers your city can provide related: Theatre groups, singing groups, photograph, volunteering work, etc. whatever you enjoy doing.

The problem with online contacts you meet at places such as here, mental health forums is that people struggle too much, for example, I’m like the guy you meet. I have social anxiety.
So it’s more difficult to find an availability from people like us. Indeed, the two online contacts I have and that I know that if I phone them are gonna hang up the phone, are two normal people. And it’s worthy to keep trying. They are two marvellous persons. Only they are in different countries.
Was it easy to have these two friends? No, it took time.
The same as irl.
If you are mainly interested to have people who join activities, that’s another story and I would go with the joining to activity groups in your city or nearby.

Hope you receive lots of replies here and can share with people your age here.

I intentionally put myself in that situation. I don't handle interpersonal stress very well so I stay alone these days. My major struggle though is BPD, so when I was with people I really did not know how to do it right and I put a lot of people, myself included, through hell, and I don't want to risk adding to that guilt until I feel like I'm on steady feet.

If you want to meet the people who act like they have it all together and aren't likely to lead you into any sort of temptation, find group outings/join a Meetup Group where anyone's invited, take classes/workshops in your interests, volunteer at a park, an animal shelter, food pantries, shelters, anywhere you want. Less likely to be your favorite person in the world who's going to save your life in a crisis but a good person have if you throw a party is: go to bars even if you don't drink you can talk about sports, clubs, can be the dancy kind or the bowling kind), apps like LMK, Tindr, and Bumble for friends.