[Violetta75]

[QUOTE=will19;7438464]Doing exercises always help with my depression, even when I don't feel like it. I feel better while doing it and after. In itself it doesn't totally cure it, but it helps. Well, shoot!, even prize-winning athletes struggle with it. I'm sorry to hear about you not being able to move around as much.

I was very depressed last week when I couldn't do my band resistance and bike riding. I could have done other things but I didn't know what to do. Also I had to endure the loud noises from next door when they were doing the driveway and being so hot.

The stitches came out yesterday but I have to heal a little bit more, which means no band resistance until next week. At least I can go bike riding, so that's OK. Thank you so much for asking me.[/QUOTE

thank you Will. I understand about noises going on, I have that here, they were doing a roof for 2 weeks or so, and just cutting grass, weed whackers, birds too early chirping in the morning. I'm actually believing righ now, as I'm very stressed out, that there are benefits to liking winter. i don't like how cold it gets or going outside much, to just sit, its too cold unless you're moving around. I think I sleep better in winter too, because of less bugs, most people are inside their own houses. Having sleep or peace interuppted so much isn't nice at all. .in winter, I think of ''well its nice and quiet compared to the noise, and it's ok to be a little lazier and get warm. I use a heating pad and it helps my pain. Sorry to go on and on.... but I find it very hard to get peace lately too. Thatks for sympathizing with someone who can't move around enough, I appreciate that. Hope when you get to do those resistance bands it will help. Thanks for reading my post. Depression can be a beast. If I could do what you're doing I'd lose some of my depression. I hope you're having a better day/evening/night when you see this!

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by Violetta75

snip: I think I sleep better in winter too, because of less bugs, most people are inside their own houses. Having sleep or peace interuppted so much isn't nice at all.

I do too because not only is it cooler but people are quieter. I find the short days depressing but the neighbors will be inside more and won’t have their doors and windows open, which increases the sounds of their noise.

Sleep experts say how a cool room is better for sleep but not everyone has air conditioning so they suffer at night trying to sleep. I don’t like having my routine disrupted and sometimes I can’t even sleep or do what I want because of the effing neighbors. The guy above me is always having guests like some bed and breakfast place. Hearing HIM is enough; I don’t need more from others.

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[will19]

Today was a nicer day for cleaning for a couple of reasons. It was cooler outside and no noise outside. So that made me feel a little bit better. Nothing much to report about after the cleaning.

One little not so nice thing happening to me today is that I feel like I have an attack with allergies. I've been blowing my nose for most of the day and some sneezing. I think that this is the time of year to have it.

[nonightowl]

Violetta I forgot to comment on this part:

…because of less bugs

This is another thing I hate about hot weather. Insects seem to like it and are around, more active. And I’m susceptible to bites and they always find me. I’m not sure if insect repellent works well and I can have bad reactions to bites: Swelling, blisters, pain, etc. So yes they aren’t around in winter and I like that. Unfortunately climate change is affecting them too and a warning environment attracts more bugs.

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[Buffy01]

one of my sisters has said some hurtful comments regarding what my diagnosis due to her beliefs and being extremely judgmental and jealous of :sadhug me

[emily1890]

Feeling depressed because there is a carnival in town, and would have been a lovely way to spend the afternoon

I can't though because of my anxiety

[will19]

I felt depressed for most of the day and I don't know why. Perhaps it may have been the bright sun and being hot outside. Hot and sunny days tend to depress me for some strange reason. Perhaps it probably reminds me of the past when bad things happened at this time of year. When it's cold and cloudy, I tend to be happier. I know that sounds weird.

I worked out with my band resistance exercises for the first time in three weeks. I felt kind of scared at first but it went well. I still felt depressed after working out.

[Buffy01]

I had unintentionally triggered myself by thinking about all the things that I don’t have

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by will19

snip: …been the bright sun and being hot outside. Hot and sunny days tend to depress me for some strange reason.

I worked out with my band resistance exercises for the first time in three weeks. I felt kind of scared at first but it went well. I still felt depressed after working out.

The hot weather reminds me of how in my youth I loved the heat. And I used to go to the beach with my friends, or in hindsight, whom I thought were my friends. But at least I had a social life. The media seems to expect people to like hot weather and have this busy social life to enjoy, with the heat!

I’m glad you got your routine back. I know what it’s like to have it disrupted.

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[nonightowl]

The senior center is having another friendship “speed dating type” thing like back in May. There was a waiting list then so now there’s still one from then. Those people have priority this time. They have limited space whatever that means. I’ve gotten too skeptical and I’m not extroverted enough. I don’t think I’ll ever go. They are touting it as “making a new friend”.

Last weekend there was a local festival they have each year around this time. I’ve never been to it. It’s usually too hot but not this year. But now that I’m older I can’t stand crowds of that size. Some stuff might be fun but I have no one to go with. Plus it reminds me of my youth when I did stuff like that all the time….with others. It reminds me of my losses I guess.

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[will19]

Originally Posted by nonightowl

Last weekend there was a local festival they have each year around this time. I’ve never been to it. It’s usually too hot but not this year. But now that I’m older I can’t stand crowds of that size. Some stuff might be fun but I have no one to go with. Plus it reminds me of my youth when I did stuff like that all the time….with others. It reminds me of my losses I guess.

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That's how I feel. A carnival or some kind of festival. When I was much younger I had people to go with for those kind of things. Not anymore; and it hasn't been like that in decades. And then I'm painfully reminded when I see others and they are paired up. I think that I will never experience being with others and having great times ever again.

[nonightowl]

Will, given that we have similar personalities and experiences with “friends”, would you try this friendship mixer thing I mentioned above? I never tried speed dating but know you talk to someone maybe 2 minutes and go to the next table. They didn’t give enough information on stuff which is typical but I did find out there’s 25 people on the waiting list from last time. I don’t know if I want to talk to the woman in charge because she’s such an airhead.

And yesterday at this senior center my exercise class did something different for the first few minutes. Another member was showing line dances and I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t expect that and it brought back memories again of what I lost. I used to go line dancing with friends at country western clubs and such and it was fun. So I was thinking what is this crap, let’s get back to the usual routine. I do get tired of it but at least it doesn’t bring up reminders of losses. It seems the instructor was tied up for a bit so I guess it was to fill the gap.



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[will19]

Originally Posted by nonightowl

Will, given that we have similar personalities and experiences with “friends”, would you try this friendship mixer thing I mentioned above? I never tried speed dating but know you talk to someone maybe 2 minutes and go to the next table. They didn’t give enough information on stuff which is typical but I did find out there’s 25 people on the waiting list from last time. I don’t know if I want to talk to the woman in charge because she’s such an airhead.
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Thank you for asking me. In the first place I feel like I'm a real "stick-in-the-mud" about going out to socialize or meet new people. I had done it for so long and always ended up disappointed. These days I prefer to not to bother with those things. But that's just me!

I take it that this is a "speed dating" kind of format for making friends. I'm I correct? I'm not much on giving advice or suggestions, but if that's what this is, then I'd say "go for it" if you feel comfortable with those at the Senior's Center. But if you're set on going and then you chicken out at the last second, then that's OK. I've done that before.

One time, around ten years ago, I went to speed dating and this was for "mating up". It was the first time I went and the last time. It was a disaster. What happened was, when it started, there were more men than women. So, whoever put it together, he got women from the bar to participate. They were drunk and not really looking anyways. I imagine they were paid to participate.

As far as dating (or mating up) personally I feel like it's not the best format to meet someone. But if it's just a "friendship" thing, then that might be OK providing that it is what's expected. I hope I answered your question. If not, then feel free to ask more.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by will19

Thank you for asking me. In the first place I feel like I'm a real "stick-in-the-mud" about going out to socialize or meet new people. I had done it for so long and always ended up disappointed. These days I prefer to not to bother with those things. But that's just me!

I take it that this is a "speed dating" kind of format for making friends. I'm I correct? I'm not much on giving advice or suggestions, but if that's what this is, then I'd say "go for it" if you feel comfortable with those at the Senior's Center. But if you're set on going and then you chicken out at the last second, then that's OK. I've done that before.

One time, around ten years ago, I went to speed dating and this was for "mating up". It was the first time I went and the last time. It was a disaster. What happened was, when it started, there were more men than women. So, whoever put it together, he got women from the bar to participate. They were drunk and not really looking anyways. I imagine they were paid to participate.

As far as dating (or mating up) personally I feel like it's not the best format to meet someone. But if it's just a "friendship" thing, then that might be OK providing that it is what's expected. I hope I answered your question. If not, then feel free to ask more.

Yes of course. We have similar experiences with people. That answers my question for now.

They say it’s for friends yet in that speed dating format. There’s people there that I definitely don’t want to talk to or see and I don’t know if they will participate. There’s especially this man who won’t stop harassing me. I don’t know if they pair women with just women but men are okay as friends. Just not him. I have to wait for this stupid holiday to end before I can ask for more information from that woman. Since I’m skeptical I feel that “vibe” will be picked up on…….

Sorry to hear about that speed dating thing. I agree it’s not a good way to meet people and being drunk isn’t helpful at all. I can’t believe they did that. Thanks for saying it’s okay if I chicken out lol.

On the subject of memories this little girl in my building brings back bad memories of when I was her age. And this is exacerbated by what I found out about my “family”. She looks about 6 or 7 and makes sounds like a toddler such as goo goo gah. I find it so unbearable I cringe and would prefer to hear a leafblower! Really! For one thing when they are done they are done. But I don’t know when she’ll be quiet. They just had another baby so in a few years I’ll hear more screaming. I’m sure I’ll still be here as I don’t know where to go.

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[3rd rock]

After having been home from treatment for a few weeks, I'm not really doing any better. I've maintained sobriety and haven't relapsed, which is good. However, I'm just as depressed as ever. It's like a constant pain. The new medication they have me on isn't doing anything, and the psychiatrist's only strategy right now is to increase the dose and give it more time to work. I don't expect it will. I'd hoped to return to work by the end of September, but that's seeming less likely than before. I'm trying to pass the time right now by reading and writing, and spending time with my pets. Writing is the only source of hope in my life, and my pets are the only source of any happiness at all. It's really hard to look to the future and see myself lasting very long under these conditions. I just don't see any future for myself at all.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by JaneOnceMore

I hate my neighbors too. They're such nosy know-it-alls. It's surprisingly easy to avoid them tho. I open my door and listen in the hallway for activity before i leave my apartment.

I'm going to have to make an effort with the one who keeps dumping on me about his heart attack. He never expresses any interest in me or offers me any support, he just dumps on me details upon details about his heart attack. I'm not this bottomless well of support! And he goes on and on about his weight when he is skinny and i am fat due to meds -- it's so insensitive! Next time i'm going to ignore him.

Could it be possible that he might not know that he is complaining to much?

[emily1890]

I really have no idea why I spent the entire day singing love will tear us apart by Joy devision

Literlally, since I got up, it's all that's been stuck in my head.

Oh well, I suppose it matches my mood today... so there's that.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I'm still doing pretty good. I have to make a goal for today. Then get to the goal. That always puts me in a good place, mentally.

sounds like a great

[nonightowl]

Will I decided to try that “friendship mixer” at the senior center but there’s a waiting list. I have about 30 people ahead of me as this turned out to be popular. May was the first time, and this month will be the second. I found out there’s some structure to it, such as a different activity every few minutes. I thought they just have us talk to a stranger 5 minutes then another one, etc.

I’m keeping my expectations very low and still have misgivings. Maybe only extroverted people are interested. Or maybe there’s one woman who is looking for a real friendship too. Part of me wants to get it over with but I don’t think I’ll get in this month. The worst thing that could happen is I waste 2 hours and end up with another “friend” but I’m ready for it.

The lack of a real friend locally has gotten to the critical mass point now. I don’t want to be a loner, really.

I never had to report for jury duty. So all my prep was for nothing.

I’m bored so it would have given me opportunity to use my brains but it could have also disrupted my routine for days. And it’s too hot down there, more than here.

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[will19]

Originally Posted by nonightowl

Will I decided to try that “friendship mixer” at the senior center but there’s a waiting list. I have about 30 people ahead of me as this turned out to be popular. May was the first time, and this month will be the second. I found out there’s some structure to it, such as a different activity every few minutes. I thought they just have us talk to a stranger 5 minutes then another one, etc.

I’m keeping my expectations very low and still have misgivings. Maybe only extroverted people are interested. Or maybe there’s one woman who is looking for a real friendship too. Part of me wants to get it over with but I don’t think I’ll get in this month. The worst thing that could happen is I waste 2 hours and end up with another “friend” but I’m ready for it.

The lack of a real friend locally has gotten to the critical mass point now. I don’t want to be a loner, really.

I never had to report for jury duty. So all my prep was for nothing.

I’m bored so it would have given me opportunity to use my brains but it could have also disrupted my routine for days. And it’s too hot down there, more than here.

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To Nonightowl ---> Thank you for letting me know about the friendship mixer. It seems like it's a bit of a disappointment that you have to wait, but on the other hand, if you have reservations about going then you'd have some time to think it over. Apparently, you seem to want to go because you may have some good feelings about the other women at the Senior's Center.

About me, I've been to so many social events and ended up disappointed every time. So it makes me not interested in going to social events. I think you are brave to consider this. There's probably a good chance that some other woman may be looking for a good friend, and that could be where you come in.
I hope for the best for you at whatever comes.

If I were going to some kind of social event that sounds pretty good to me, then I would have my expectations very low. It would be good for me to do it that way because, if I get too psyched, then I'd be set up for a nose-dive in disappointments.

I guess there are a lot of times in my life right now in being alone that I don't mind that much. But still it would be nice to have someone. I'd rather be alone than with bad company, but it isn't a good option to have only. I don't like to be a real loner, either. That's the fear I have at relocating somewhere else where I don't know anyone.