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#326
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![]() 3rd rock, Discombobulated, nonightowl, T4bbyCat
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![]() 3rd rock, Discombobulated, nonightowl, unaluna
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#327
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I'm doing fairly okay in staying out of the dark pit. Been sleeping good and keeping up with my housework.
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![]() 3rd rock, T4bbyCat
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![]() T4bbyCat
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#328
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__________________
Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
![]() 3rd rock, nonightowl, T4bbyCat
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![]() 3rd rock, T4bbyCat
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#329
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I was talking about this to my gp last week, when i said i would not seek treatment if i had cancer. He goes, but your so bubbly! Its a defense, isnt it? Look im laughing, please dont unalive me, i wont bother you, i agree with you.
Its like that meme, you had one job. Our parents had one job, just be effin nice to us. It wasnt something they could pass off to someone else. Once those brain synapses are cut short from lack of attention and care, they dont grow back and we are stuck here. Observers, participants as much as we can manage. |
![]() 3rd rock, Buffy01, T4bbyCat
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![]() 3rd rock, T4bbyCat
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#330
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![]() nonightowl, Rose76, T4bbyCat, unaluna
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![]() nonightowl, T4bbyCat, unaluna
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#331
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Quote:
__________________
Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
![]() 3rd rock, T4bbyCat, unaluna
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![]() unaluna
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#332
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I'm still managing to stay out of the dark pit, but just barely. Today got very stressful. I don't seem to be handling stress well.
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![]() 3rd rock, nonightowl, T4bbyCat
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#333
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![]() My parents acted so superior like they were better than everyone. It not only affects you as a child but an adult as well. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as childhood emotional neglect until I saw it on this site. ——— Sent from my iPhone
__________________
![]() ![]() Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
![]() 3rd rock, Discombobulated, NovaBlaze, T4bbyCat, unaluna
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![]() 3rd rock, Discombobulated, unaluna
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#334
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Omg, exactly. About 15 years ago, when i restarted therapy with my final therapist, i read a book on Attachment, and honestly it was like reading a physics book for me. These concepts did not occur naturally in nature for me! Looking? Listening? Being there? Thats a big nope.
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![]() 3rd rock, T4bbyCat
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#335
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I want to clean the kitchen floor, but I just can't get started. I slept pretty good, once I got to sleep. That was this morning. Maybe I need a nap. Maybe I'm just lazy.
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![]() 3rd rock, nonightowl, T4bbyCat
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#336
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![]() ![]()
__________________
Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
![]() 3rd rock, nonightowl, Rose76, T4bbyCat, unaluna
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#337
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Thursday went well. Got a lot done. Feel hopeful.
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![]() 3rd rock, T4bbyCat
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#338
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__________________
Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
![]() 3rd rock, nonightowl, NovaBlaze, T4bbyCat, unaluna
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#339
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Still feeling pretty good. It's a holiday, and I'm alone, but I'm okay with that today.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! |
![]() 3rd rock, Buffy01, FloatThruThis, NovaBlaze, T4bbyCat
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#340
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I went on a cleaning frenzy. Scrubbed both bathrooms, vacuumed the bedroom, halls and kitchen. Washed and waxed kitchen floor, got Xmas decorations up from basement, and almost finished painting down the basement stairs and putting new stair treads down. Also, I baked apple crisp.
I get frantic if the house isn't clean so that's done. I think I'm tired. ![]()
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Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
![]() 3rd rock, Buffy01, Rose76, T4bbyCat, unaluna
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#341
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@Calla lily12 - way to go! You were on a role. Sounds like you're ready to tackle the Christmas season.
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![]() 3rd rock, Buffy01, T4bbyCat
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#342
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Cooked a turkey breast. I enjoyed the day, even though I was alone. Looking for a nice movie. Having a Margarita. I'm in better shape compared to this time last year, when I was quite depressed.
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![]() 3rd rock, FloatThruThis, nonightowl, T4bbyCat, unaluna
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![]() unaluna
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#343
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Quote:
![]() ![]()
__________________
Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
![]() 3rd rock, Rose76, T4bbyCat
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![]() Rose76
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#344
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Quote:
Quote:
__________________
Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
![]() 3rd rock, Rose76, T4bbyCat
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#345
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![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
![]() 3rd rock, nonightowl, Rose76, T4bbyCat, unaluna
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![]() Rose76
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#346
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I did nothing today. Felt too tired. I don't think it was real fatigue. Not real depressed, but low on motivation
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![]() 3rd rock, nonightowl, T4bbyCat
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#347
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Well the day is half over and so far I’ve at least had some peace and quiet. It’s been over 10 years since I’ve had anyone to celebrate my birthday with so I’ve been thinking of it as a self care day instead. Got my comfort food and books 📚
For many years my aunt used to call me on my birthday 🎉! She never missed a beat but has been gone for over 20 years now. In hindsight I see how thoughtful that was. It was taken for granted sadly. ——— Sent from my iPhone
__________________
![]() ![]() Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
![]() 3rd rock, Rose76, T4bbyCat, unaluna
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#348
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I don't like it when people belittle me or insult my intelligence. Admittedly, it's sometimes hard for me to tell the difference between abrasive humor and real insults, but still. I don't like it when I pose a question and the response is to rhetorically ask if I'm retarded. (Apologies for the language). When people do this it makes me feel very bad, not because of the insult in itself but because it makes me feel bad for not understanding something that apparently others around me understand in full. And these people are supposed to be my friends, or at least the closest I've got to friends. I just wish people would treat me better, but I'm unable to assert myself or advocate for myself because of my mental health and personality issues.
I have been medically cleared to return to work without restriction, but my employer continues to insist I sign a special agreement before they will start scheduling me shifts. The union is fighting this and I'm confident we'll win, however it still doesn't feel good to be subjected to this treatment by my employer, which I consider unlawful discrimination on the basis of ability (e.g. medical condition). I'll be okay for money, and the union is seeking payment of my full wages for the time I miss due to this disagreement. Last week I had my last appointment with my psychiatrist before he discharged me. I don't believe I'm fully well in terms of my mental health, but I have been stabilized and I'm not an imminent risk to harm myself. He urged me to find a personal therapist to work through some of my deeper personal issues, and that's something I'll consider once I've returned to work. Therapy is covered by my benefits plan, but only up to $500 a year and many personal therapists charge up to $200 an hour or more. I believe my mental health problems stem from issues growing up, and a personal therapist could help me work through them, but at the present time I can't afford it. |
![]() JaneOnceMore, nonightowl, T4bbyCat, unaluna
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#349
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I'm doing pretty good, keeping the blues away. Brought in all my Christmas stuff from my outside storage closet. It takes me so long to start my day. Mornings I just have no motivation. I generally feel better every day at about 4 p.m. Wish I could feel ok earlier.
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![]() 3rd rock, JaneOnceMore, nonightowl, T4bbyCat
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#350
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![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
![]() 3rd rock, T4bbyCat, unaluna
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Thread | Forum | |||
Daily check in thread: Ups & Downs #31 | Depression | |||
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