[3rd rock]

This stupid CPAP machine is doing nothing for me. Last night I wore it all night and managed to get a good 10 hours. But I was still exhausted all day! I even fell asleep on the couch around noon! Worthless hunk of plastic. I need to get another appointment with the sleep clinic and see if there's some other variation on the CPAP I can try. And they want $2,500 for this!

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

This stupid CPAP machine is doing nothing for me. Last night I wore it all night and managed to get a good 10 hours. But I was still exhausted all day! I even fell asleep on the couch around noon! Worthless hunk of plastic. I need to get another appointment with the sleep clinic and see if there's some other variation on the CPAP I can try. And they want $2,500 for this!

I know someone who used that CPAP machine. Or CRAP as we called it....It didn't work.

That much money???? Yikes!

I'm disappointed with the activities for April for the non-profit organization for seniors. Everything is either already full (because I didn't get the stupid newsletter on time), or it's held at night. Even though the days are longer, they are still not long enough to go out at night. I'm not a night person anyway. And I'm scared of being alone and having sudden car trouble. Or the bus being late and it's getting dark. I have no one to call so I pass up these events.

[Rose76]

Depressed.

[Buffy01]

I have feeling really down due to my niece berating me again which really put me down especially lately.

[3rd rock]

I called in sick to work tonight because I'm very sad about the loss of my pet cockatiel, who died suddenly the other day. She was my favorite and my only real friend, and I'm devastated. I have put her in a ziploc bag and put it in the freezer until I can bury her this weekend. I feel like she was the only one in my life who actually wanted me, the only one who loved me (in the fraternal sense), and now she's gone. She was old and living on borrowed time, but I only adopted her about 5 years ago. She was very sick and she was in my hands when she died, she was hardly able to move so I just held her until she took her last breath. I'm hurting so much with her loss, but tomorrow I'll get back to the grind. I know this feeling of sadness will pass with time.

[Calla lily12]

Oh Rose you can't seem to win. I'm sorry you feel sick. Feel better soon!

[Calla lily12]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I called in sick to work tonight because I'm very sad about the loss of my pet cockatiel, who died suddenly the other day. She was my favorite and my only real friend, and I'm devastated. I have put her in a ziploc bag and put it in the freezer until I can bury her this weekend. I feel like she was the only one in my life who actually wanted me, the only one who loved me (in the fraternal sense), and now she's gone. She was old and living on borrowed time, but I only adopted her about 5 years ago. She was very sick and she was in my hands when she died, she was hardly able to move so I just held her until she took her last breath. I'm hurting so much with her loss, but tomorrow I'll get back to the grind. I know this feeling of sadness will pass with time.

I'm so sorry!! Its so hard to lose a pet or should I call him a companion .? You gave him a secure safe home and I'm sure he(she?) Is grateful.

[Calla lily12]

Being alone has to be the worst feeling. It makes me panic. For what its worth, we're here for you.

[Calla lily12]

I lost patience with myself cause I was doing absolutely nothing. Finally I got so angry, and the anger gave me frantic energy, I cleaned the house, top to bottom. It's about time! When my house use a mess ,I equate that to how my head feels. Messy house= Chaotic mind

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I called in sick to work tonight because I'm very sad about the loss of my pet cockatiel, who died suddenly the other day. She was my favorite and my only real friend, and I'm devastated. I have put her in a ziploc bag and put it in the freezer until I can bury her this weekend. I feel like she was the only one in my life who actually wanted me, the only one who loved me (in the fraternal sense), and now she's gone. She was old and living on borrowed time, but I only adopted her about 5 years ago. She was very sick and she was in my hands when she died, she was hardly able to move so I just held her until she took her last breath. I'm hurting so much with her loss, but tomorrow I'll get back to the grind. I know this feeling of sadness will pass with time.

I'm sorry your pet cockatiel passed away. Five years is a lot of bonding. Missing her will be painful for a period of time. I'm glad you realize that grief is a process that becomes less painful with time. For now, it feels very hard. That shows how much love you put in to having this bird. Maybe you'll one day consider getting another companion bird, or another pet.

[Rose76]

Still depressed.

[3rd rock]

Originally Posted by Calla lily12

I'm so sorry!! Its so hard to lose a pet or should I call him a companion .? You gave him a secure safe home and I'm sure he(she?) Is grateful.

Originally Posted by Rose76

I'm sorry your pet cockatiel passed away. Five years is a lot of bonding. Missing her will be painful for a period of time. I'm glad you realize that grief is a process that becomes less painful with time. For now, it feels very hard. That shows how much love you put in to having this bird. Maybe you'll one day consider getting another companion bird, or another pet.

Thank you for your kind words. I'm very lonely since she died. I'm looking into the possibility of getting another, but the thought doesn't make it any easier. Pets are the only source of joy in my life at all, and to lose her was to lose my best and only friend and companion in life.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

Thank you for your kind words. I'm very lonely since she died. I'm looking into the possibility of getting another, but the thought doesn't make it any easier. Pets are the only source of joy in my life at all, and to lose her was to lose my best and only friend and companion in life.

I've lost pets before and have not forgotten the feeling, even though it was many years ago. Animals are better friends than humans. They don't judge and love you unconditionally. They don't ghost you or talk to you because they want something from you.

I still have pictures of those pets I lost around my place, but only two of humans: My former therapist and only real life friend. They are the only humans worth being on display. Some of these animals didn't belong to me per se but I formed a bond nonetheless.

[Rose76]

No ambition. Depressed.

[Buffy01]

Walmart’s and CVS pharmacy has both ripped me off twice

[Calla lily12]

Scared/depressed

[3rd rock]

Originally Posted by nonightowl

I've lost pets before and have not forgotten the feeling, even though it was many years ago. Animals are better friends than humans. They don't judge and love you unconditionally. They don't ghost you or talk to you because they want something from you.

I still have pictures of those pets I lost around my place, but only two of humans: My former therapist and only real life friend. They are the only humans worth being on display. Some of these animals didn't belong to me per se but I formed a bond nonetheless.

I feel the same way. Our pets make such great friends because they don't care about any of the things people care about. They don't care about how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, whether you live in a mansion or a crappy little apartment like mine, etc. So long as you treat them right they just love you. It's wonderful, and right now there's a cockatiel-shaped hole in my life and my heart.

My relationship with this woman is uncertain. I haven't heard from her since Thursday night. It really feels bad because if I were in her place and too busy to really chat, I'd still pop in on my phone or whatever and share the occasional exchange. It makes me feel like I'm not a priority in the life of the woman who says she loves me, which in turn recalls painful memories and feelings from when I was a child, when I wasn't a priority in anyone's life.

I got my vacation request for July back, and it's approved. I'm going to Dallas, Texas. I booked the flight, the car rental, and the airbnb. I can't wait. Right now I'm really feeling sad, and I look forward to spending a week in Texas where I can pretend my life isn't so bad. I lived in a Dallas suburb when I was young, and I've booked an airbnb that's a stone's throw away from my dad's old house. I'm interested in going back and seeing what's changed, as it's been 22 years since I've been back.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I feel the same way. Our pets make such great friends because they don't care about any of the things people care about. They don't care about how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, whether you live in a mansion or a crappy little apartment like mine, etc. So long as you treat them right they just love you. It's wonderful, and right now there's a cockatiel-shaped hole in my life and my heart.

My relationship with this woman is uncertain. I haven't heard from her since Thursday night. It really feels bad because if I were in her place and too busy to really chat, I'd still pop in on my phone or whatever and share the occasional exchange. It makes me feel like I'm not a priority in the life of the woman who says she loves me, which in turn recalls painful memories and feelings from when I was a child, when I wasn't a priority in anyone's life.

I got my vacation request for July back, and it's approved. I'm going to Dallas, Texas. I booked the flight, the car rental, and the airbnb. I can't wait. Right now I'm really feeling sad, and I look forward to spending a week in Texas where I can pretend my life isn't so bad. I lived in a Dallas suburb when I was young, and I've booked an airbnb that's a stone's throw away from my dad's old house. I'm interested in going back and seeing what's changed, as it's been 22 years since I've been back.

You are so right. Animals don't care if you're unemployed, when humans treat you like roadkill. Well, at least in the US. Or if you drive a late model car or the latest smartphone model.

People like us must be unique. If things are nuts, I'd still drop a line to say that things are nuts and I'll be in touch when I am able to. But people don't do that.

Bit off topic, but I haven't heard from the Girl Scout I was writing to since 2020. Last time I heard from her, it was almost a year ago! Clearly I'm not a priority in her life. It started out as a nice diversion during lockdowns. But she wrote less and less; they were never letters but more like short notes. I know she's a teenager and all, but still...She's old enough to know simple courtesies.

Kudos to you for having the courage to take this trip! Let us know how it goes. I envy you.

[Rose76]

Still have no motivation.

[Buffy01]

I feel like my depression is caused by the mistreatment from my siblings and their kids.

[Rose76]

I'm seriously depressed. Tomorrow I go for a routine check-up with my primary care doctor. He never asks about my mental health, even though he prescribes my antidepressant. I'm not sure I want to bring it up either.

[3rd rock]

I have lost the blister pack that my prescriptions are dispensed weekly in. I think I may have mistakenly thrown out the current one rather than the last week's one. I have to try and go to the pharmacy tomorrow before work and ask them to reissue them, and hope they'll be able to do so before I go to work. I'll have to get there an hour earlier than usual. So I wasn't able to take my medications this morning. This may just be my imagination but I feel nauseous. It may also be anxiety. In any case, I had to call in to work tonight because I couldn't sleep due to lacking one medication in particular. I feel depressed and I'll have to try and just get through the night tomorrow night so I can get to the long weekend.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I have lost the blister pack that my prescriptions are dispensed weekly in. I think I may have mistakenly thrown out the current one rather than the last week's one. I have to try and go to the pharmacy tomorrow before work and ask them to reissue them, and hope they'll be able to do so before I go to work. I'll have to get there an hour earlier than usual. So I wasn't able to take my medications this morning. This may just be my imagination but I feel nauseous. It may also be anxiety. In any case, I had to call in to work tonight because I couldn't sleep due to lacking one medication in particular. I feel depressed and I'll have to try and just get through the night tomorrow night so I can get to the long weekend.

I've accidentally thrown out stuff too. It wasn't medication but it was still frustrating. Given all that's happening in the country now, I've been distracted a lot and I've misplaced things too.

[Deejay14]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I'm seriously depressed. Tomorrow I go for a routine check-up with my primary care doctor. He never asks about my mental health, even though he prescribes my antidepressant. I'm not sure I want to bring it up either.

Rose that's the depression talking . tell your doc and get a referra!!! Sitting quietly by!

[3rd rock]

I still feel sick. I haven't been eating anything and only managing fluids. I've been sleeping more than not the past couple of days. I'm still extremely lonely without my cockatiel and feeling rather depressed. Sometimes I catch myself turning around the corner or coming home and whistling or saying out loud the things I'd said to interact with her in particular, only to realize myself. I suppose I'll just try to get through the next couple of days and hope this spell of illness lifts.