[Rose76]

Been doing better, until just now. Suddenly got sad.

[3rd rock]

I do that a lot, too. I'll be carrying on as normal, and then I'll hear or see something, often something that recalls a painful event or feeling, and then I'll just spiral. It always takes at least a few hours to climb back out of it; often I have to go to bed and then wake up in the morning no longer feeling sad. It's awful to feel like you're not in control of your emotions. It's like you're not even a grown adult, in that you feel like you can't cope with just the basic day-to-day banalities of life. I don't have any advice on how to handle it except to say I can empathize with that.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I do that a lot, too. I'll be carrying on as normal, and then I'll hear or see something, often something that recalls a painful event or feeling, and then I'll just spiral. It always takes at least a few hours to climb back out of it; often I have to go to bed and then wake up in the morning no longer feeling sad. It's awful to feel like you're not in control of your emotions. It's like you're not even a grown adult, in that you feel like you can't cope with just the basic day-to-day banalities of life. I don't have any advice on how to handle it except to say I can empathize with that.

Oh yes, Rock I can also empathize. It's more like what DOESN'T trigger me. Recently I got asked by a volunteer (from a non-profit serving seniors) making friendly phone calls to isolated seniors where did I grow up. I thought "She doesn't know it was a seedy crime ridden neighborhood."

Noises can trigger me, like construction or the sight/sounds of people moving in or out. Gosh even commercials or images on the news. Why are they always images of people smiling with their arms around each other? I haven't had that in my life in so long, I've lost count.

Leafblowers are unbearable to me. They aren't just loud, it's the repetitive grinding sound that makes me run for the hills. And there's a guy in my building with a big truck that has an engine like that. When he starts it, it startles me and one time it made me drop the remote. Good thing it wasn't glass. And he parks right under my bedroom. Nice guy, but I HATE that truck.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I'm still feeling bad on and off.

your not alone I feel like this to

[Rose76]

Pretty down all say, but notbas bad as I had been. I walked to the store for milk. It's not far. At least I got out of the house.

[3rd rock]

Really struggling. Feeling down a lot of the time. My apartment has become very messy, and the landlord's coming in for routine maintenance in a couple of days. Nothing seems to be happening, so I'm allowing myself a moment to feel sad. I feel like I'm wasting my life, and I don't have a lot of life left to waste. I'm sure this feeling will pass, but then I'm sure it'll come on again, and the cycle restarts.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

snip: I feel like I'm wasting my life, and I don't have a lot of life left to waste. I'm sure this feeling will pass, but then I'm sure it'll come on again, and the cycle restarts.

I feel that way too because so much of what I wanted didn't work out, in spite of my best efforts. I tried so hard.......I don't tell anyone because they'll give me a platitude like "Things happen for a reason."

Year after year after year. There are certain tasks that trigger that realization, such as an annual routine doctor's visit or putting new tags on my license plate.

I also live in an apartment and hate the intrusion of an inspection. Or even a repair. My tub faucet drips, but it's a small leak and isn't hurting anything. I keep a bowl under it and even overnight, there's just 2 tablespoons of water. And the manager can be so snarky. I don't want to interact with him or have anyone come in here. Maintenance guys are nice but it's still an intrusion.

Unless it leaks so much it overflows the bowl, and wastes water by going down the drain, I'm not telling them about it.

[Buffy01]

I think that some of the bad choices that I had made that has turned into mistakes are another reason why I am feeling depressed

[Rose76]

Better than yesterday. Got a tooth filled today.

[Rose76]

Very sad. Depressed.

[Buffy01]

eek: I think that what causes me feel terrible has to do with what I don’t like about myself

[3rd rock]

My 'relationship' with this woman has taken a turn. We'd been talking about getting together for a weekend in May or a whole week in June, but she has informed me a turn of events in her life have meant her schedule permits neither. Our meeting has been pushed back to August, September, or even October. This is deeply disturbing to me, and makes me feel intensely sad. I feel like later in the summer she'll just say that's no good either, and it'll keep getting pushed back until she stops speaking to me altogether. I don't know if I can take that kind of heartbreak, and I shouldn't have allowed myself to develop these feelings for her in the first place.

We've spent so much time together online, and we've been declaring our love and commitment to each other, but now that's pushed back. I feel like I'd move heaven and Earth just to see her, like I'd spend 16 hours driving just to be with her for 1, but on the other hand it feels like I'm not a priority in her life. Now, after that particular conversation, she's not even online at all tonight. I'm really sad. I cried about it last night, although tonight I haven't (yet).

I haven't conveyed to her how this makes me feel; instead, I've been supportive of her needs. This is because I've found in life that when I try to assert myself and my needs in a relationship, the relationship always takes a turn for the worse and soon ends. So I don't have a choice, I can't tell her how this makes me feel because then she'll leave me. I have to be supportive of her scheduling needs at the expense of my own.

That said, I've put in for a few extra days off in May, and I intend to use them to get away. I'm going to visit Anchorage, Alaska. I've chosen that city because I want to get out of the country and visit a place I've never visited before. I'm doing it just for the sake of doing it. I just need to get away from this dank, little apartment and this depressing city. So I'm going. I was going to use those days to visit her, but now that that's not possible I'm going to go away anyways, just for myself.

[Rose76]

Today was a big improvement.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

My 'relationship' with this woman has taken a turn. We'd been talking about getting together for a weekend in May or a whole week in June, but she has informed me a turn of events in her life have meant her schedule permits neither. Our meeting has been pushed back to August, September, or even October. This is deeply disturbing to me, and makes me feel intensely sad. I feel like later in the summer she'll just say that's no good either, and it'll keep getting pushed back until she stops speaking to me altogether. I don't know if I can take that kind of heartbreak, and I shouldn't have allowed myself to develop these feelings for her in the first place.

We've spent so much time together online, and we've been declaring our love and commitment to each other, but now that's pushed back. I feel like I'd move heaven and Earth just to see her, like I'd spend 16 hours driving just to be with her for 1, but on the other hand it feels like I'm not a priority in her life. Now, after that particular conversation, she's not even online at all tonight. I'm really sad. I cried about it last night, although tonight I haven't (yet).

I haven't conveyed to her how this makes me feel; instead, I've been supportive of her needs. This is because I've found in life that when I try to assert myself and my needs in a relationship, the relationship always takes a turn for the worse and soon ends. So I don't have a choice, I can't tell her how this makes me feel because then she'll leave me. I have to be supportive of her scheduling needs at the expense of my own.

That said, I've put in for a few extra days off in May, and I intend to use them to get away. I'm going to visit Anchorage, Alaska. I've chosen that city because I want to get out of the country and visit a place I've never visited before. I'm doing it just for the sake of doing it. I just need to get away from this dank, little apartment and this depressing city. So I'm going. I was going to use those days to visit her, but now that that's not possible I'm going to go away anyways, just for myself.

Love unrequited - or feared to become unrequited - must be one of the worse hurts a heart can feel. I hope she won't disappoint you. That trip to Anchorage is a wonderful idea. Tell us how that goes for you.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

My 'relationship' with this woman has taken a turn. We'd been talking about getting together for a weekend in May or a whole week in June, but she has informed me a turn of events in her life have meant her schedule permits neither. Our meeting has been pushed back to August, September, or even October. This is deeply disturbing to me, and makes me feel intensely sad. I feel like later in the summer she'll just say that's no good either, and it'll keep getting pushed back until she stops speaking to me altogether. I don't know if I can take that kind of heartbreak, and I shouldn't have allowed myself to develop these feelings for her in the first place.

We've spent so much time together online, and we've been declaring our love and commitment to each other, but now that's pushed back. I feel like I'd move heaven and Earth just to see her, like I'd spend 16 hours driving just to be with her for 1, but on the other hand it feels like I'm not a priority in her life. Now, after that particular conversation, she's not even online at all tonight. I'm really sad. I cried about it last night, although tonight I haven't (yet).

I haven't conveyed to her how this makes me feel; instead, I've been supportive of her needs. This is because I've found in life that when I try to assert myself and my needs in a relationship, the relationship always takes a turn for the worse and soon ends. So I don't have a choice, I can't tell her how this makes me feel because then she'll leave me. I have to be supportive of her scheduling needs at the expense of my own.

That said, I've put in for a few extra days off in May, and I intend to use them to get away. I'm going to visit Anchorage, Alaska. I've chosen that city because I want to get out of the country and visit a place I've never visited before. I'm doing it just for the sake of doing it. I just need to get away from this dank, little apartment and this depressing city. So I'm going. I was going to use those days to visit her, but now that that's not possible I'm going to go away anyways, just for myself.

I’m so sorry. Going on a trip for yourself. Is a great idea

[Rose76]

I'm so behind on things. Unopened mail piles up. Kitchen is messy. If I don't tackle this stuff, I'll get even worse. It's hard to care. Unless I'm on the Internet, I feel hopelessly alone.

[nonightowl]

This thread feels like a "real" check in thread than the many others I follow. I just view them, I don't post because there's no thanks or hugs from anyone on anything. What's the point of posting in it then? I don't post to talk to myself. Glad I decided to follow this thread, though it was originally to follow the member who started it. And has sadly deleted their account.

I'm dreading calling the phone company about my landline suddenly having no dial tone. And I know "nobody" has them anymore, so nobody to call and ask if they are having trouble. At first I panicked, then had to keep telling myself that I still have my cell and that no one calls me anyway. (Except the library to say my books are available or the doctor's office to reschedule an appointment for me. Nothing going on at the moment though.)

So sick and tired of dealing with everything alone. It's really kicking my A S S bigtime too.

[Rose76]

Today was an improvement. Took a bus to Walmart. Got groceries, etc. Then got an UBER ride home. Ate a decent supper.

[nonightowl]

I get tired of reminding people I exist. This is the second time I've had to tell the non-profit for seniors that I didn't get the effing newsletter or flyer for activities for this month, April. It's already April 1st and I'd like to know a few days in advance of the new month.

They had a movie outing last week but I'm not ready for anything that social, in spite of the isolation. I don't even know what a movie ticket costs nowadays, as it's been over 10 years since I've gone to a movie. And I don't know if I want to spend money on lunch either. Seems petty I know, but with all the cuts to various funding of programs and the prices of things, the more in my pocket the better............

[Rose76]

I'm feeling pretty good and was actually singing while washing some dishes. When I'm not depressed, I always hum and sing, while doing household chores. I just hope this lasts for a bit. I had too many "episodes" of depression, too close together. It got to where I didn't want to live. But that feeling has subsided.

[Buffy01]

I been having a really bad weekend after having a manager berating me three times over a jacket that I bought that I had returned

[Rose76]

No energy today. It's overcast, and I feel cold. I keep getting back into bed to warm up and to feel better. Still moderately depressed.

[Buffy01]

could have been an okay day had my sister not shushed me over her friend mental health

[captaineo]

I’m feeling sad and depressed again and cannot get my self out of the hole I’m in. I pray to god every day to help me

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[Rose76]

Depressed. Tired of being alone.