[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by will19

Quote from Nonightowl ---> "So I'll be going to the one on 9/26 Thursday. There's 35 people already on the list".


I'm glad to hear that you're planning to go to the friendship mixer.

As for me right now, I'm still trying to cope with the heat. It's a little bit better but not much. Also I plan to workout with my band resistance exercises (here at home) soon. I'll get my playlist ready.

I went to the store to pick up a couple of things around 9 this morning. I got talking to one of the clerks (whom I like a lot) and he told me that, a couple of days ago, one of the employees felt faint after working with the flowers on display outside of the store from the heat.

I'll let you know how it goes.

This heat is supposed to start letting up today and I hope they are right. I don't sleep well when it's hot. I did use my a/c a bit last night while watching TV as it got too hot. My building is made like a concrete canyon, just holding in the heat.

And I found out pillows soak in heat like a sponge. One of my pillows felt like a heating pad, but thankfully another one was cooler. It has feathers in it. I needed a pillow as the surface was too hard without one.

Oh I believe it about the employee feeling faint. I can't believe our building manager would actually care about us enough to send a weather alert. It's all they talk about on TV and I get alerts on my phone. Plus I don't need to be told it's hot.

One of my favorite cashiers at the store had surgery in early June and said she'd be back in a month. Now it's been over 3 months and I hope she's doing okay esp. in this heat. I think she also hates the heat.

Originally Posted by lotusblossom19

I just want to sleep the days away. I feel emotionally homeless, like there is no safe, gentle place for my poor heart to rest. This heart is worn out as hell. It seems that all the effort I've put into being graciously gentle to people during their bad days means absolutely nothing. Just feeling really thrown away and broken now.

Yea, this. I feel exactly the same way. I feel homeless on the inside and wonder what's the meaning of existence or going on (not feeling suicidal at all). I've been retired for three years and I find myself not doing much. When I was working, it felt the same. I don't have much going for me socially. At times I feel OK because I like having alone times but then I feel bad about it. And I can feel guilty for not trying to do something about it.

It's natural for me to feel like the outside is not safe and against me. It can be hostile, while at the same time, I feel like a "sore thumb"; like no one out there feels the same as I do.

Now that I'm older, I feel like life is going to be disappointments, let-downs, and sorrows. Those gloomy occurrences seem like they'd be more common than joyful times. The joyful times do not seem to linger on for a long time. Every morning when I get up, I feel like my world will be coming to an end. But then I feel better after breakfast.

Good news and bad news for now. The good news is that the heat is subsiding a bit, but still uncomfortable. It's supposed to end soon Another thing (and that's a good news-bad news item) is that the stairway is finally being worked on after a month of being closed. That's the good news. The bad news is that (as you might have guessed) there's excessive noise. It's outside of my bedroom window and door and there's going to be noise coming from power tools. I don't know how long this will take. It was proposed that the stairway was going to be redone a couple of years ago, but it never happened.

This year, so far, has been pretty good from the beginning. And then, starting in June, it went south. Mainly because of all kinds of construction projects with noises that come with it. Plus having to put up with the hot weather.

I hope this project with the stairway won't take long. There's another stairway at my place and it got worked on a couple of years ago. It took two to three months to complete, but they did it during the winter months when it rained a lot - causing delays.

Noises and heat causes my depression to go up.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by will19

snip: When I was working, it felt the same. I don't have much going for me socially. At times I feel OK because I like having alone times but then I feel bad about it. And I can feel guilty for not trying to do something about it.

Now that I'm older, I feel like life is going to be disappointments, let-downs, and sorrows.

I didn’t really want to retire but there’s no “senior friendly” jobs out there. I can’t work in an Amazon warehouse, drive all day for Uber or stand and walk 8 hours or even 4, while being cheerful and friendly. I feel I haven’t done much with my life or don’t know what to do with the rest of it. I’ve done enough volunteering and want to feel useful. I’m not suicidal either but life is getting so hard with nobody around.

I’m so used to nobody talking to me that I got overwhelmed when the exercise instructor shot all these questions at me. I decided to try the Silver Sneakers class at the gym which I haven’t been to in 7 or 8 years. She approached me after class, introducing herself as she noticed I’m new. She also asked how did I like it, what am I looking for, etc.

I’m not used to anyone asking me anything. I didn’t tell her this but some of it was too easy some too hard. It’s supposed to be for “older” adults. There’s a different instructor on Thursday so someday I’ll try that. I was so sick of my gym routine but I don’t like middle of the day workouts. And this class has always been at 11am.

Originally Posted by will19

snip: The bad news is that (as you might have guessed) there's excessive noise. It's outside of my bedroom window and door and there's going to be noise coming from power tools. I don't know how long this will take. It was proposed that the stairway was going to be redone a couple of years ago, but it never happened.

Noises and heat causes my depression to go up.

Oh Will, I hear you and am sorry. We are both sound sensitive I know. There’s a lot of roadwork on my block and the next, the power company is doing something in the alley. And the technology company next to us is doing something to their satellites.

It seems they always do $hit in the summer because of the long days and weather. They are painting the awnings and stairwells in my building. It’s not near me but it’s near others and I feel for them. But they are renting to more and more young people and they go out a lot. So they can escape it but I hear it. You’re right the heat is letting up thankfully.

———
Sent from my iPhone

[nonightowl]

Will I forgot to say something and am making a new post since I noticed you already read the previous one.

At least the instructor in the class appeared to be in her 50’s at least and not a 20 something woman. The class had just one man. I’ll try the other instructor eventually but I don’t like disrupting my routine, yet at the same time I’m bored with it. I’m too tired now for anything except laundry so at least it’s cooling off.

Do you workout in the morning or afternoon? Same time or around the same time?

———
Sent from my iPhone

From Nonightowl ---> "Do you workout in the morning or afternoon? Same time or around the same time"?

I workout at the same time. That's how I am, like clockwork, when I need to do something. For my band-resistance exercises I do it three days a week - Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 11 AM. For my bike rides, I take a one hour ride every day from 4:30 to 5:30 PM: but I'll start the bike rides earlier pretty soon.

[nonightowl]

Yeah I’m a creature of habit too. I even use the machines in a certain order at the gym.

One of my next door neighbors runs his a/c almost 24 hours, 7 days a week in hot weather but sometimes even during mild days, like in the 70’s. I wonder what his electric bill is and how he can afford it. He must be well to do but if so why is he in this dump ha ha. I know nothing about him and I rarely see him.

I finally got another new next door neighbor and it’s just been about 11 days so too soon to tell much. A young woman with a medium sized dog and she seems nice. But I just asked her to turn her music down, politely of course. She seemed receptive so I hope so. I hate that I have to say anything at all and I didn’t do that at her age. Sigh. I think that I love dogs will keep things cordial and I got to pet him. I also met a guy there who introduced himself and offered his hand to shake. That’s neighborly. I thought he lived there too but he said they’re just dating. Well THAT brought back bittersweet memories for me.

And the guy above me is always having guests over and they spend the night a lot too. It’s like a bed and breakfast up there. All this makes things feel lonelier.

Speaking of doing things with one’s life earlier, did you ever go to your high school or college reunion? I never have because I have little to show since those days. I’d love to reminisce but I bet someone is going to talk about their life since and currently too. And I’d have nothing to talk about.

———
Sent from my iPhone

From Nonightowl ---> "Speaking of doing things with one’s life earlier, did you ever go to your high school or college reunion? I never have because I have little to show since those days. I’d love to reminisce but I bet someone is going to talk about their life since and currently too. And I’d have nothing to talk about."

I haven't been to any reunions. Next year will be the 50th year in my HS class. I am definitely not going. The HS years were not the best. I haven't been back to where I came from in 20 years.

[nonightowl]

I just got my new day planner for next year, which I do every September. I prefer paper and sticky notes, instead of my phone, for noting my tasks or chores. It’s more private of course even though most pages are blank. But it’s triggering for me since it makes me face yet another year has gone and nothing changes in my life. I hate things like that I do routinely such as dental appointments. I go next month and it’s been 6 months since my last visit.

And I drive past my old high school each time. And I feel 100 and that my life isn’t what I thought it would be.

———
Sent from my iPhone

I felt a little bit better today because the weather cooled down. And now it seems like fall. However, early this morning was ruined by a lot of noise from the construction site across the street.

[Buffy01]

I think the choices I made are the reason why I am feeling depressed

[Rose76]

I'm still doing pretty good. Since July 20, my depressed state of mind hasn't come back. That's a good run for me. Mood is okay, but functioning could be improved. It's still hard to get out of bed in the morning. My place sure looks cleaner and neater. I've been eating better.

[The Grey Wolf]

Not sure if anyone is allowed to check in or not. I'm doing terribly though I thought about texting the hotline but apparently they will call the police so that isn't going to happen. Not really sure if I can be helped anyway

I did my cleaning this morning. I've been feeling better because it's cooler now.

This afternoon my mood sunk when I got into some contentions with a couple of people in my life. I felt like they were not nice to me and crossed my boundaries.

It's got me down and I worry that there's a lot wrong with me.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by The Grey Wolf

Not sure if anyone is allowed to check in or not. I'm doing terribly though I thought about texting the hotline but apparently they will call the police so that isn't going to happen. Not really sure if I can be helped anyway

I believe you called a hotline once and was berated on the phone

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by emily1890

Feeling depressed because there is a carnival in town, and would have been a lovely way to spend the afternoon

I can't though because of my anxiety

I’m

[emily1890]

Woke up with a really empty feeling- I mean really empty

Mind is feeling like an abandoned warehouse today. All shut down and broken

[Rose76]

I've had a good, solid 2 months of not being depressed. I was trying to fortify myself before the holiday season because it was last November that I went into a longlasting case of the blues that dragged me down for over 8 months. Now, as the temp has dropped and the skies aren't so blue, I feel that low mood coming back on me.

I've been seriously cleaning my house. As more of that gets done, I feel real good about it. Still, my spirit is flagging.

[Buffy01]

I had stop taking my medicine for my upcoming surgery which causes my emotions to be all over the place

There was some loud talking outside at my place around 6 AM this morning. It was a rude awakening some someone inconsiderate.

I've been feeling depressed and anxious for most of the day. Little bits of feeling that my world is coming to an end; that the carpet is going to be pulled out from under me. Something must be in the air to make me feel that way, I guess.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I've had a good, solid 2 months of not being depressed. I was trying to fortify myself before the holiday season because it was last November that I went into a longlasting case of the blues that dragged me down for over 8 months. Now, as the temp has dropped and the skies aren't so blue, I feel that low mood coming back on me.

I've been seriously cleaning my house. As more of that gets done, I feel real good about it. Still, my spirit is flagging.

I wish that I could say the same

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by will19

There was some loud talking outside at my place around 6 AM this morning. It was a rude awakening some someone inconsiderate. .

I hate when that happens! Somebody was having a loud conversation somewhere on the balconies at 8:45 am Sunday, and since i sleep near my balcony door, i just yelled out "SHADDUP!" and they did!

Originally Posted by unaluna

I hate when that happens! Somebody was having a loud conversation somewhere on the balconies at 8:45 am Sunday, and since i sleep near my balcony door, i just yelled out "SHADDUP!" and they did!

Good for you!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by unaluna

I hate when that happens! Somebody was having a loud conversation somewhere on the balconies at 8:45 am Sunday, and since i sleep near my balcony door, i just yelled out "SHADDUP!" and they did!

I had some experience with my neighbor talking very loudly

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

I had some experience with my neighbor talking very loudly

Some lady was shrieking yesterday afternoon, i was about to call the cops! She sounded like she was in distress. Fortunately it didnt last too long and she calmed down and they went inside. But she better watch it.

I dont want to be the neighborhoid crab but i will if i have to. If it happens again i will ask "are you okay?"