[Vaiana]

Today is a good day, I have energy, I walked two times under the blue sky
I plan to buy saffron to improve my mood, it's expensive but maybe it will help me

[Rose76]

Still being lazy. Had a spell of nausea a little bit ago. It went away. Over the past 5 years, nausea has been a sign that my stomach ulcer has opened and is weeping blood. That happened a few weeks ago, but it completely stopped, I hope. A surgeon wanted to operate, but I'm holding off on that. I think I can control it with antacid medication and avoiding alcohol. My mood is decent, but I want to sleep a lot.

[Vaiana]

Today I felt sad, I was feeling like people don't appreciate me
I had no motivation to shower and go outside, but I still did because I wanted to check a shop
I was depressed during all the time I was outside and couldn't enjoy the blue sky

[Vaiana]

I was so stressed I had difficulties sleeping and I woke up at 6 am feeling restless
I feel sad, I feel like people are talking behind my back

[Vaiana]

I felt anxious today
I'm at my dad's right now but changing place didn't help my mood
My heart hurts
I did some things that made me happy tho (I did badminton and bike with my siblings)

[Rose76]

I feel better today. Just don't like the heat.

[Vaiana]

I feel better, yesterday at night I went on the forum of a game after a while and people showered with love, saying I'm the sun of the forum, that I always say sweet things to others
It made me really happy
I felt still anxious today but I feel much better

[Vaiana]

Today I still felt a bit anxious, and woke up early because of overthinking but it wasn't a bad day
I'm not motivated to start back work because I couldn't enjoy most of my holidays feeling depressed

[Vaiana]

Today I felt anxious again
I felt sad too
I'm not motivated to shower, brush my teeth and go to work tomorrow
I want to stay in my bedroom and do nothing all day

[mulan]

I am rock botton. Years have passed, I tried to work on myself, I toke many different meds that have been prescribed, nothing seams to help.
I don't feel conected, I feel empty, I get tired easily. I don't know how happy or having friends are supose to feel. I am an empty shell going in and out of work. If I am real I am not totally aware of that.

[Rose76]

I am pretty ok mentally. I feel a little sick, physically. Nausea. Not eating much.

[3rd rock]

I have completed the first chapter of my current rewrite. I hope to have this draft done by the end of the year. If I work really hard and fast, I could get it done as soon as the end of October or mid-November. The problem is I have no one to read it and give me feedback. I've been asking grok, the AI, and it's been helpful in helping me cut excessive material to keep it as lean as possible and thus work within conventional word count limits in the genre (contemporary YA), but it's still just an AI. I need real people to read it and offer criticism, but I don't have anyone. I guess it just makes me realize how lonely I really am.

Overall, I feel okay. I'm sleeping okay, and the CPAP machine is really helping me have more energy. I still feel a boost from my vacation in the States and the purchase of my new truck. Physically I continue to be in the worst shape of my life. This weekend I ordered pizza twice because I didn't want to leave the apartment on Saturday or Sunday. I've got to stop this but I don't think I have the discipline to do it. Oh well.

[Vaiana]

Yesterday I didn't have motivation to go to work but I still went
It was a mess, nothing was organised I didn't know what to do and there's this woman that clinged me to film her during work
I said with who I want to work to my colleague before her meeting to organise all that, hopefully I will have what I want
Apart that it was a normal day yesterday I had a good time watching vids and talking on forums
Today I woke up stressed, remembering memories but a motivational song is in my head since this morning, It gives me strenght to keep going

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

snip: I need real people to read it and offer criticism, but I don't have anyone.

@3rd rock I don't have anyone either, and I too need real people. And real connections, not more acquaintances or transactional "friends". I did some digging and it turns out loneliness is widespread, with all age groups. And there's all kinds of theories as to why. I've read comments from other forums as well as from sources like Psychology Today.

The US has a culture that doesn't encourage this nor think mental health is important. I don't know about other countries. We don't have a "third place" here. COVID certainly was/is a factor, along with technology and working from home. The tech industry says "connect" even though it isn't a connection. Or the word "friend" is way overused now, on social media sites.

I also looked up related subjects like why do people ghost, say things they don't mean, and why they suck. Disturbing stuff. The only consolation I get is it's not just me, and also validation because we are by nature social creatures. There are people who are loners and are happy with it. But in general our DNA is wired to want to connect with others. It's how we survived thousands of years.