jealousy.... part of the depression package?

Ok... so Im on my own again tonight and depressed
I have no fiends so I cant talk to anyone... only person I have is my boyfriend whos nearly 300 mile away at university. Hes gone out drinking tonight, but im miserable and i hate that i cant talk to him (dont want to text him 'cause i normally get upset more when he sends drunken texts saying how much he loves me... 'cause i miss him).
But the whole point is... im jealous of him I'm jealous of the fact that he has friends to go out with, that he enjoys himself, that hes happy.. I know I should feel happy for him but I cant 'cause it all just hurts so much... I want him to be able to have a good time with me but I cant see him much.
We had a falling out yesterday because he said I never ask how he is or what hes doing... and it's because I daren't... it REALLY depresses me, because I can't be happy. It's not that I don't want him to be happy... of course I do... I just want me to happy too. I'm really jealous of him and I hate it. He's my boyfriend, I shouldn't be jealous of my boyfriend?

am I acting like this because of depression? Or do I need to sit down and really think how I'm gonna deal with things?

molly

Molly, why aren't you going out and meeting people where you are? You should be trying to have fun too, not just watching other people have fun and being jealous.

Some of the feelings could be because of the depression but what you do about it (the sit down and really think part) can help that or at least distract you.

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supermansgirlfriend said:

am I acting like this because of depression? Or do I need to sit down and really think how I'm gonna deal with things?

molly

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Yes and yes.

If you don't, he is going to move on and you will be completely alone. What is keeping you from making your own life and friends?

I know I'm putting a strain on our relationship and to be honest he has been VERY understanding and patient with me, I am very lucky
I'm really nervous when I'm with people now... I think it's because I've been away from people my age so long (when I was ill I rarely got out) and now I'm just finding it hard to start from scratch, having to make new friends.
I've always been a very shy person around new people and I find it very daunting to do new things... I know they heave to be done though.
I'm on a waiting list to go to a confidence building class so hopefully that will help me build enough confidence to approach and talk to more people.
But making friends takes time, there are a couple of people I talk to but I'm not sure how to ask them to socialize outside of school (last year of college in England)...
and I'd like to go out, but I can't on my own (on a night) it's not safe for one

I know things aren't going to change overnight

molly

Why don't you practice by asking someone in your class to go have a soda. Then ask them questions about themselves. People love to talk about themselves.

I don't know how long you have been with your boyfriend, but having one 300 miles away is not healthy for a depressed, lonely person. You're making him feel bad for having frieinds. My best friend and I just have a huge fight over her jealousy of my social life. He should not feel bad that he has friends and you don't. Do you work? Work and school are the some of the best places to attempt to work on your social skills. Take it a little at a time. Building social skills takes time, but you also have to make some type of effort too. Sitting around being depressed and jealous of your boyfriend will not help your situation.