Please help

When it gets nighttime, every night .. all I can think is

Each night is a little more pronounced .. and it tears at my soul. How can I stop these thoughts?

Nevermind.. I've learned my lesson ..

Everyone else's life matters .. everyone but mine

I won't ask anymore

Take care

I’m so sorry to read about your struggles. I wish I could help, or offer sensible advice, but from my own perspective I don’t have the skills or the knowledge to be able to help.

Are you seeking professional help? Are there any emergency support or help lines available to you where you could get support and advice?

Jeff.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind When it gets nighttime, every night .. all I can think is Possible trigger: "I want to die Each night is a little more pronounced .. and it tears at my soul. How can I stop these thoughts?

I dont have great answers, I can say I've felt many mornings my first thought is just shoot me already.

Are you open to trying help from guided hypnosis? I can guarantee it wont actually hypnotosie you.... it's Michael Sealey, he covers things from anxiety to sleep and dreams etc. I'll try to find a link.

Crypts,

When I had the bad thoughts at night, I took to trying poetry before bed. I would pick my poems during the day to make sure they wouldn't match my dark thoughts. It was helpful, not 100% helpful, but none the less helped my head at night.

As I said .. I am done seeking help. I will just blow with the wind .. if I make it thru, cool .. if not, that's cool too.

CHOCOLATE! produces the same chemical reaction in the brain as being in love. Try it you'll like it.

Wish I had a better answer for you, but that's what works from. Just a piece or two, not the whole box! LOL.

Smile as much as you can. That helps too

Jeez.....I don't have any brilliant ideas but I do understand your feelings. You DO matter. That's depression talking and you have to tell it to take a hike. What used to make you happy? Any particular person? All I can say is please keep talking to us and believe me when I say I care.

Nah, I'm done with asking advice from this forum .. all that happened when I came back this last time was a bunch of flippancy toward me .. I neither need nor want that. I might stay to support others, I don't know yet. But I'm done being vulnerable and having others stomp on me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind Nah, I'm done with asking advice from this forum .. all that happened when I came back this last time was a bunch of flippancy toward me .. I neither need nor want that. I might stay to support others, I don't know yet. But I'm done being vulnerable and having others stomp on me.

I'm really sorry you feel like that. What can we (I) do differently? I hope something I said didn't hurt you.

It wasn't you specifically..

But quite a few that responded to me were either harsh in response or laughed at what I said .. to me that's not supportive at all and when I am just barely hanging on like I have been and trying hard to get help but not being able to get it .. when I allow myself to be vulnerable enough to talk on the forum, the last thing I need is to be told that my feelings are "wrong" or laughed at for my concerns or etc ..

So yeah, I'm just not going to be vulnerable anymore. I cannot risk the damage it can do

I didnt see anybody laughing or being harsh. I think a lot of people here can identify with feeling youre at the end of your rope and maybe wanting to step carefully because it brings up their own painful feelings. We are only as strong as our weakest link. We might be a smaller group now, but i believe we've learned how to better listen and help each other. But some situations are very hard.

Cool, so YOU did not see it.

So that means it did not happen, right?

Again, my feelings are wrong. Right?

Thanks for showing what I mean.

I can say for myself, I've been laughed at when at a low. It's a horrible feeling, it totally makes you feel crazy like its saying ''You didn't see what you just saw'' or ''what you think happened you dreamed it up''.... That was from my parents from a young age. It was maddening but, it was their way of covering their own butts knowing they full well did or said what they did to me.

I hope you realize most people here do want to help you. If you say you are done, no body can. So I can't say anything else, I'm also just a depressed frustrated human. Righ now I'm angry with myself. I gave my apartment keys and my car keys to my younger son. Last text I got was ''I spent hours looking for my phone'' and now he's still not back... ugh how could I be so stupid to let him have my keys!

Anyway, I do hope you feel better soon. I'm not invalidating your feelings, but the truth is you wont always get the answers you want or hope for, and there are bad people or they come off as bad advice maybe, but I was here years ago and I know most people do truly care about others and give their best.

All the best to you.

I've been here for years too (check my info) .. it was better in the past. That's all I will say about that.

I agree, what you said is not invalidating .. there were many others who were (whether they want to admit that or not) .. and I simply refuse to be vulnerable and have myself pushed further down the mental illness hole, (especially by a person or persons that have not made themselves vulnerable enough to write a post involving how they are feeling in two or more years, yet somehow find it perfectly fine to jump on someone else's post and laugh and/or invalidate them) especially while I am still waiting on an initial appointment after near a decade of needing zero mental health care.
I hope that makes sense - and I'm not asking for anyone's opinions regarding what they do or don't see in my threads .. I'm also not asking for pity. I'm just stating how I feel, why, and what I am going to do about it.

Just reading your reply to another post on this thread, I fully accept that your perception is that you feel some people were laughing at your posts and/or being harsh in their response. I totally accept that this is how you feel, and that these feelings are valid to you at the present - 100%

I'm not in your shoes, and I can't possibly imagine what you are going through at the moment - no one can. But, some of the feelings you have mentioned here resonated with me and my past. I have been in a very bad place where my perceptions were that everyone was either laughing at me, being harsh and cruel in their dealings with me, or just determined to bring me down as a person. At that time, those feelings were real and valid to me - 100%.

I had also reached the point where Fortunately, and I can't remember the specific trigger for this, I sought and received professional help. Over a period of several years, I was able to meet several counsellors who gradually enabled me to understand why I was feeling the way I was, and to help me get back to a healthy place. For me, this wasn't a quick process, and there was no quick fix. I think I was very lucky in reaching a point where I was open to being helped, which happened to coincide with getting to talk to people who could reach me and could help me.

I truly hope you are able to find someone in life who can connect with you and help you. Looking back, I can see how desperately unhealthy my thought processes were then, and how that resulted in me being in a terribly bad emotional state - but as with all things this is easy to see with hindsight, when you're there in the moment everything seems so bleak.

I think what I wanted to say is please don't give up seeking help, from whatever source you can find.

Jeff.

I have not given up on seeking help, I just won't do so here bc there are indeed certain people that just like to make it worse. I'm not here for others to abuse. Plain n simple.

I think the guidelines suggest to report people for being too harsh or laughing at you.

Moderators could look into it.

It’s generally not recommended to talk on
the forums about “certain” people abusing you on here. Even if you don’t name who exactly mistreated you.

Just report and go from there. Most certainly laughing at others or abusing them wouldn’t be acceptable and moderators will address it with whoever mistreated you

In my experience, reporting does nothing .. and if I'm not even allowed to air what's going on without pointing fingers, then truly, I don't see how it does anyone (except the abusers) any good .. just my opinion .. like I said, I'm just done coming here for help .. perhaps I will stay on just to visit and/or support others, but for myself? I'm done.

Moderators would absolutely remove (or correct) posts where you are being abused and laughed at. People get reprimanded and could be suspended for abusing others. This kind of thing isn’t tolerated. It would absolutely do something! Moderators are fast and efficient here.

You can absolutely point your finger at abuser by reporting them. I saw moderators stating that airing grievances in the open aren’t allowed on the forums but you could stop whoever abuses you by informing moderators

If you say so, I suppose it's true. . and my experiences are just delusions *shrug*