[Candor]

I just don't know what I need. I don't know what 2 do. I'm taking my meds, yet I'm continuing to sink. I'm at that stage where nothing matters,things slow waaayyy down. It's even difficult to type this, my hands & my mind just stop for a few moments & I have 2 close my eyes. I've debated going to the hospital, but they generally don't want to see you if you're not suicidal & my doc is on leave 4 3 mths. I'm nothing , I'm flat, I'm going..where? idk

[Cthomas]

Im here whats happening? can you breathe? panicky? im right here. you still online

colleen

[bipolar_bear]

Welcome to PC. Know we are here. I hope we can help support you.

BB

[Fuzzybear]

We're here for you

[Candor]

thank you for responding. i wasn't able to respond back as i would have liked b/c of the 5 posts in 24hr period rule, 4 newbies. i wish i was made aware of this b4 i posted b/c i would have chosen differently, about what i post & respond to.
collen,i felt the concern in your message & i really appreciated it. sometimes when you don't know what you need just hearing that others are care helps. I don't feel as dead inside today, but i don't feel alive either, if that makes any sense.

[CedarS]

Definitely makes sense, I've been there myself.

During this time, what things are you doing to take good care of yourself? Are you getting enough sleep and food? Do you have any fun distractions?

[Candor]

I am getting enough sleep, food...well i never ate that well & distractions aren't working 4 me right now. Coming out here has helped though, at least that's something

[FlffyChic]

i am in a similar situation right now. i've been on a new med for going on 3 weeks now and i just feel like i'm sleepwalking from one day to the next. do you ever feel like that? i do the same thing from day to day and nothing much changes, my mood included. yesterday i looked up pictures online of animals-search "cute animal pics" or something like that. sometimes i look up "quotes" for inspiration or at times i will look up jokes. you can also search "funny pics" for some really hilarious photos. much of the time i may smile but rarely do i laugh. i actually couldn't tell you the last time i really laughed about something (or cried for that matter). I also feel "flat", emotionless, unable to react to things the way others do. but hey, i consider a smile a triumph, it is one goal accomplished. if you can find one thing somewhere, even if it takes hours of searching online, that can get just one smile out of you then you have accomplished something. remember that. shoot for that. taking baby steps can still get you where you want to be. not moving at all is highly ineffective. i hope i helped.

[Candor]

that does help. i do look at funny videos & such,but as soon as that video,pic,or song has stopped,immediately the cloak of darkness drops on me. it's so immediate that i wonder,why even bother trying to lift it? whatever u do, won't work anyway.

[FlffyChic]

praise yourself for those smiles that you do manage. it is a huge accomplishment for someone who is depressed. even if the smiles don't last, it just proves that you are still capable of doing it.

[Candor]

that's true, but asking me to praise myself, is like asking a fish to walk on land.

[Soidhonia]

Candor I am sorry you are struggling at thie time. You should still go to ths Hospital since you are in crisis at thie time. Your Dr should have someone on call while they are on vacation, and the hospital will be able to get ahold of that person when you go to the hospital, to determine what you need to do at thei time. the hospital may Not admit you, but they can at least get ahold of someone to help you adjust your meds or to see you while you are in crisis. I hope things get better for you soon Candor, but I tryuly think going to the hospital is the best solution to your problems at this time. Soidhonia