[UnknownBlue]

Anxiety, I think I have that already, not as a result of bad body image, but, bring very frustrated and even angry because of bad body image, along with other problems, including panic attacks and such.

It took me a while to find a forum like this, where I was allowed to post on, because of all of the woman-only body image sites.

My body in general is one thing that I don't like, the condition of it
But, my biggest issue is my height, although it maybe sound strange or silly, it is a very big issue.

Being short for a male is probably the worst thing you can be, because everybody obsesses over it.
Not just the media, but everyday people, in general. In sperm banks in America, there is actually a height restriction, where you actually aren't allowed to donate sperm, because, as stated before, people are obsessed with height.
There are parents who are injecting their children with growth hormone, even when they have no physical condition, but are just naturally short.

I don't want to be accused of blowing this out of proportion, but, from these facts, it does really seem like the world is trying to actually cease short people from existence.

When the media says one thing, to a certain degree you can shrug it off, but when it is everybody, even people in daily life, it really does add to the problem.

I am sorry if this sounds more like a rant, but, self-esteem issues are made worse when they are things that you have no control over at all.

[Cthomas]

Sorry you are feeling so bad blue. I wish i had something profound to say to make you feel better. But i am here to listen if you need to. Others with more experience will be along to help out more. Im sure of it.

Hope you feel better today,

Colleen

[Perna]

Hey, UnknownBlue, welcome to PsychCentral (PC). I think I know exactly what you are talking about with the height issue. My stepson is 7 feet 5 and gets the "how is the weather up there?" all the time and professionals don't help him with his business until they've commented personally on his height. A tad rude.

I worked with a Marine general (think about that) who was only 5 feet 6, my height. He was very sensitive to the height thing!

Others are so constantly rude with staring and comments and songs literally banned in Maryland

I can too easily imagine where you are coming from!

Do you have a therapist? How have you been trying to work with this?

[Cyran0]

UB, I don't have that problem as I'm average height. But I did want to validate what you're saying. I hear more water cooler conversations than I care to and women seem to be particularly judgmental when it comes to men's height. So this isn't an imagined problem.

The good news, I don't think it's insurmountable. I would guess there is maybe a hand full of people here who fit the "traditionally attractive" bill. The rest of us have to learn to make do with what we've got. And I'm sure you've got a lot going for you. So try to realize that while yes, being short sucks, you have so many other great traits that people do love you for. The great love or loves of your life aren't going to care about your height. And the few people who are superficial enough to really care about that aren't worth your time anyway.

Cyran0

[UnknownBlue]

Thank you for all of your replies so far.
I would like to think that I have sort of com to terms with it, even if it is on a very small scale. I am however having a bit of a hard time explaining things to my mother though. I have told her that at the age of 19, I am not going to grow much more, particularly how tall she was telling me.

Even if I used every single means of gaining height; human growth hormone and even cosmetic limbl/leg lengthening, I would not be able to grow to the heights she is 'asking' - asking being put in quotation marks, because she doesn't seem to realize that you cannot make yourself grow.

She also seems to be very ignorant/stubborn when I raise these facts, acting as if I could still grow taller, if I choose to.

[Mayam]

Hey Blue,

I'm 29 and 5'4". Actually probably more like 5'2" but 5'4" sounds better right? I know how you feel, trust me. I'm sure I don't have to tell you but it is too late for growth hormones at 19. Besides they tend to make your jaw freakishly huge along with other problems. I had a friend growing up who took them. Oh man do they work though.

The way I've coped is by working out and getting big. When something heavy has to be moved people come to me regardless of height. Oh I still get the jokes. 'Hey can you hand me that on that shelf? Oh never mind!' Ha. My favorite was a guy I worked with doing landscaping. I'd get in the back of the truck to go to lunch and he would tell me to sit down before he takes off. Funny. Really, I laughed.

This really is something we can't change though. Although I've heard the limb lengthening, while being very painful, does work. It's also expensive though, and I haven't looked into it but I'm pretty sure no insurance would ever cover it. I'd love a few more inches and if I could afford it I'd probably do it.

I've learned though that we develop a different set of skills and physical abilities. For one, I can climb anything (not a joke) out of necessity. Also I studied martial arts for many years growing up, competitive Tae Kwon Do specifically. When I am in range for a strike, I am too close to a person of average height who is in my wieght class to fully extend their leg for a good shot. Drives em crazy. Our muscles develop differently. I worked for a couple years moving furniture, mostly with guys a foot taller than me. When they are carrying something at waist level, I am carrying it at chest level and my body had to compensate by building my chest, shoulders, and arms that much more. They called me mighty mouse.

Have you heard of Franco Columbo? He's about my height and he was Arnold Schwarzennegar's (sheez, first time trying to spell his name and I doubt it's right !) closest lifting partner, the guy is freakishly huge, like picking up cars huge. Bruce Lee, very short, scary fast. I'm just trying to say to you that there are other areas you can excel at. Maybe basketball isn't for us. Although there was Spud Webb - 5'6" - he won the Slam Dunk contest in '86. Earl Boykins - 5'5" and Mugsy Bogues - 5'3", both played in the NBA as well and they had to be that much better because of their hieght. Ninjas? Most of them were real short !

I know it makes for some uncomfortable social situations too, especially with romantic prospects. I'll tell you the truth, I have never been with a woman taller than me. Sounds dumb but it's the truth. I honestly consider a woman's height when deciding whether I want to be with her or not. It's my loss though because I may have missed the love of my life due to this. I hate concerts, clubs, malls, anywhere with crowds because I feel like people try to just walk right over me like I'm not there. It's not imagined either, I have a friend who is 6'4", 350 lbs., they get out of his way every time.

This use to bother me a lot too and I can't honestly say it doesn't still at times but I have learned that you can grow in other areas where people will look up to you (I am so damn sorry for that terrible pun ). All I can offer about the jokes, laugh with them. Diffuses it quicker than anything I've found. Seriously. Most people, in my experience, won't joke with you about it until they know it doesn't bother you. If it doesn't bother you, and that is their intention then it would be pointless for them anyway right? You're laughing too!

You can deal with this Brother and you won't be the first or last who has had to. You're a young man anyway, shock em all and be the next Bill Gates. Have the surgery and come home one day 6 inches taller! (I know it takes a long time though) You aren't without hope whether you get any taller or not though friend.

[Perna]

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Mayam said:
This use to bother me a lot too and I can't honestly say it doesn't still at times but I have learned that you can grow in other areas where people will look up to you (I am so damn sorry for that terrible pun ). All I can offer about the jokes, laugh with them. Diffuses it quicker than anything I've found. Seriously. Most people, in my experience, won't joke with you about it until they know it doesn't bother you. If it doesn't bother you, and that is their intention then it would be pointless for them anyway right? You're laughing too!

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Very wise words, Mayam! I had a step-cousin who is blind and we use to do all the "Now, see here. . . " jokes. I have a quadriplegic friend and his line is, "Don't make me get up out of this chair!"

[stefano]

Oh yes, the problem is real. I must have heard the phrase "he's quite handsome, he's tall...", and the same applies to girls. Mothers seem to be sensitive to the matter. In fact this statements come often from MY mother chatting with other women. We also have a proverb that says "altezza, mezza bellezza", which means "height makes half beauty". Being average height, I realize the problem nevertheless.

Anyway, your mum should go to therapy, you just need to be proud of what your are (yeah, not easy at all, I know).

Let me tell you something: I practice a martial art named Aikido. If one wants to succeed at Aikido he'd better be small, because so he will need perfect tecniques, while big guys can rely on strenght, and their tecnique is poor. Aikido founder Morihei Ueshiba was 5 feet.
Actually, actor Steven Seagal is a supposed Aikido master. He is huge and he sucks indeed

[UnknownBlue]

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Perna said:Do you have a therapist? How have you been trying to work with this?

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Sorry for my late reply.
I don't currently have a therapist for this, or at all, at the moment.