Unemployment sucks

I feel clobbered.

I'm down to the very last of my savings. I'm trying to renegotiate foreclosure on my house. I'm on my last 32 days until I get kicked out. I'm behind on all my bills, and waiting for my first unemployment check. I've been holding off even paying my lawyer, I told him I'd pay when I got my first check. Everyone has been 100% sure (even the lawyer) that I would receive benefits. My old boss (two jobs ago) who is a multimillionaire claimed unemployment benefits twice in the past few years because business has been slow and he has been unable to take a paycheck from business he owns (the one that made him a multimillionaire).

So I'm checking the mail each day for confirmation, and/or for my first check.

Got a letter today. I am disqualified, uneligible for benefits. Because my illness was not work related (I should have said that it was work related but I didn't want to make waves). I can't freakin' believe it.

To top it off, I got two identical envelopes in the mail, two identical letters, both dated the same day, one says that I am eligible and the other says I'm disqualified.

I read both letters carefully and the dismissing one is the final determination. But they had to send two letters just to drive me nuts. I don't know how I am going to even pay for food for the next few weeks.

I took an unemployment claim for about 3 weeks one time in my life about 10 years ago. I have been paying into the system HEAVILY for over 20 years. And now I can't get anything because being ill is not an acceptable work-related reason for leaving my job.

I am going to try for SSI benefits but I'll starve to death before that comes through. And I don't know how I would have my checks delivered to the sidewalk.

The bad episode that almost put me in the hospital several weeks ago, part of the way I coped was by getting perspective, and this unemployment was a big part of that. I really considered it a "sure thing" which was a mistake but I listened to everyone who told me I'd get it.

I don't know what I am going to do now. My heart has already been racing for the past half hour or 45 minutes and I think I may not be able to sleep tonight. I am going to try to make it to the club tonight anyway. But I don't know if I should be spending money on that? My T agreed that I should keep going and should consider the cost of it an important part of my recovery plan... just like the money I lay out for meds. but that was last week when we were assuming I'd get the UI.

(((((((Dexter))))))), this is so wrong. Can't they give u benefits for an illness?? Like sick leave or something similar. This is so wrong. I am so sorry Dexter. I do think you should still go out, sitting at home is not going to help. Geez, I wish I knew what to say. Sick is sick, you shouldnt be punished for that. And with them sending two letters like that???? what a bunch of bull @#$! My thoughts are with you.

justy

dex, I wish I had some words of wisdom even half as helpful as those you share with others here, but all I can do is offer you hugs, and my thoughts and prayers.

((((((((dexter)))))))))

Jo

(((((((((Dex))))))))))))))))) I know it sux. Been there few times myself. As for being disqualified because it's not work related, isn't it discrimination - regardless? Human Rights - can't discriminate due to illness. The gov't (I'm assuming it's the gov't) is doing just that. If you're ill and can't work - get a dr's note and that should do the trick. Something's not right here.

Im sorry you're in this mess. big hugs.

>>As for being disqualified because it's not work related, isn't it discrimination - regardless?

I'm supposing that unemployment benefits are defined to only cover work related stuff... getting fired, quitting if you have a work related issue you can prove... I know if you quit for no reason you can not collect.

I guess they are disqualifying me because as a non-work related illness I should be covered under disability instead... but I already used up all my state temp disability benefits and SSI will take a long time... I went through the application and just getting together the stuff they need is going to take some time and a clear mind that I just don't have right now.

I am planning to go tonight, I'm going to try to eat now. I treated myself for Boston Market after a support group meeting last week, assuming I would start getting unemployment checks this week. At least I have a free pass for the club tonight.

Dexter,

(((hugs))) Sorry to hear of the horrible news. Regarding the Unemployement Benifits. They really do people wrong in these situations.

You said you have been paying out for meds, could you apply for State medical assistance? When I applied for state Medicaid the benifits were retroactive from the date I applied while waiting for SSI. Once approved all medical expenses were rembursed to those who paid during that time frame.

Try not to let this get you down and do hope you go and have a good time at the club tonight.

Take care-

I am sure I will have a good time tonight, I am in a "safe place" when I am there.

I'm afraid that as soon as I leave the anxiety will start and that I won't be able to sleep tonight.

I really want to get out of bed tomorrow and do the walk in New Brunswick. I might sleep late and then stay in bed. If I can get out of bed at least I will have something to do.

And by the way thanks everyone.

I think I will need some attention this weekend and until I get this sorted out.

Dexter -- You are such a wonderful source of comfort and insight here. I am so sorry this happened. Not fair, not fair at all. You deserve a good break.

If you see signs on poles and trees or in newspaper classifieds that say, "I buy homes," start calling these people right away. Call a bunch and see who offers you the best deal. A lot of these people are well organized and prepared to provide instant moolah. Some will help you by providing enough cash to get you into an apartment. Hopefully, you will walk away with enough cash to sustain you for a while. I understand that losing your home is a very emotional issue, and is going to hurt, but it is time to take decisive action. As I've mentioned in past posts, I know a bit about this seamy underbelly of the real estate market, and these people are for real, and the best of them are ethical and take pride in helping people who have waited until the 11th hour to look for a way out. Some are scum, so be careful.

<font color="purple">((((((((Dexter))))))))</font>

I agree with Wants2Fly. There are people who will buy your house, and it will be better than being foreclosed. My sister went through threats of foreclosure earlier this year. A realtor bought her house, probably for not as much as she would like, but it cleared her debt and she got to start fresh (albeit, living with our mother).

Best wishes are with you, Dexter.

splash

Hi Dexter,

I don't claim to know the whole story, or even remember that part of the story that I claim to have read (i.e., I don't always remember what I read), so if I provide information or some other kind of stuff that's not particularly helpful or you already know and/or tried, well, I hope only the best for you.

In New Jersey, there's a Temporary Disability Insurance law that provides temporary disability benefits due to non-work related illness or injury.

NJ Department of Labor

Temporary Disability Insurance

Take care,

splash

Have you tried speaking with someone DIRECTLY at the unemployment office? I live in NJ too, so I'm assuming the laws/rules about collecting are the same in the north as they are here in the south!

When I had to quit work a little over 2 years ago I got temporary state diability for 6 months, with my psychiatrists diagnosis. As soon as that ran out I called unemployment and the first thing I asked was if I was eligible for unemployment because......and I told them everything. Why I had to leave my job, and that I did collect temp. dis. and now that has just run out. She said right away that I WAS eligible! A real shock to me! I collected for 6 months, and when that ran out they had an extension of benefits available and that gave me about another 3 months of checks! I'm shocked that they are saying you are not eligible.

Unless something has changed in the system you should be eligible. It was only about 2 years ago that I began receiving unemployment, and like I said, no problems and it lasted about 9 months!

You said you'd barely used it at any time in the past, well even prior to this last time I collected I had used it twice before, once for a few months and once for 6 months! I did have an employer try to stop me once and had to stand in the office raising my voice requesting to speak to a live person that could help me because my former employer was lying to them,which is why they refused me benefits, and we ended up in arbitration and then the employer tried to contest it again when the arbitrator found in my favor. I was terrified to call, but called and spoke to a member of the "comittee" in Trenton, I think it was, where they review a still contested case and he was surprisingly very friendly and nice to me! They again, found in my favor. This was about 6 years ago and due to my employers nonsense, but I just wanted to let you see that they seem to be more helpful than they used to be, the system was revamped a while ago to actually make it easier to collect.

Please try to speak with someone in the office in person, use my experience of how I collected after my temp. state disability ran out and ask why you aren't eligible if I was! I've found that if you are persistant and the right person hears your pleas, it's sometimes no problem to get corrected.

I was probably on unemployment benefits the same time you were pebblypoo. Massachusetts here. It was easy for me as I had been laid off (yet somewhat voluntarily). I have never heard of anyone being denied benefits except like in your case, when the employer fights it.

I would apply again and really push them.

A bit back, my doctor kept pushing me to apply for disability. She would back me 100%. I was denied benefits, because instead of paying into the Social Security fund, we had a state retirement plan.Where does that leave former state employees who go nuts like me. I am more balanced now and recently started a job. It is in a completely new field and the money is lousy, but I feel good about having something to do.

Dexter - have you ever given a thought about going back to school and becoming certified (not certifiable!) as a therapist? Lots of different paths to that paper trail. The advice you give here is so good and has helped so many, many people that I feel you would be awesome. Certainly, everything I have read from you sounds like it came from the mouth of my T. There are social work counselors who work with him without having to go all the way to a PhD. I am so very, very sorry about your financial situation and wish there was something we all could do besides give you our love and virtual support. Please take care of yourself for all of our sakes.

Dexter,
I am glad you have a 'safe place' you are able to go and spend time, it is good to get out of the house and leave some worry's behind. Glad you have that outlet.

I hope you were able to sleep when you did get home.

Hope you got to sleep in today and get out of bed and come and let us k now how you are feeling today.

Sending my best of wishes to you-
Hang in There-Chris

I did have a good time last night. I drank more than usual but I did get in for free, and I danced a lot and was a little more "aggressive" than I have been in the past...

I passed out pretty quickly at 4 am woke up on my own at 9:30 and I do feel pretty rested. I haven't been able to eat though.

Today I'm just going to work around home a bit (I was up too late to go to the AFSP walk today) and tomorrow starts another week, and I am hoping with some encouragement I can try to take care of some of these things rather than curling up into a ball for the day.

I will see if I can summon the energy to call them and question it.

When you applied, did you say that work was a contributing factor to being unemployed? My denial letter says that I was denied because my illness was not work related... it was a "yes" or "no" question on the form but even if it wasn't caused by work, maybe if I can show that work would aggravate it I could collect? I don't know

I also don't relish the possibility of having to have another conference call with my employer... the last one was so stressful it really scared me.

splash

I did collect temp disability... I had no problem at all getting approved for that. That ran out and even if it hadn't my pdoc was unwilling to sign another disability form because at the end of my disability period I was "recovered" (my meds had begun to work and was feeling better).

I'm not sure I would make a good one-on-one counselor. I definitely want to think about expanding or changing careers, maybe school, etc. But right now I have to pay my bills. If I can get a job soon, once I am settled in I hope to think seriously about my future.

The other problem is I still haven't heard about my house re: foreclosure. After the very bad spell I had a few weeks ago from the stress of it, I began to have some confidence that I might be able to refinance and save my home. I've had good advice from people I trust, who have some knowledge of the field, who think that there is a good chance it will work out. But those are the same people who were sure I would get unemployment... so my confidence there is shaken as well.

Thing is, especially from what happened three weeks ago, I realize that even when I feel well, my wellness sits atop a very shaky house of cards.

That worries me in the short run but also how this is going to effect the rest of my life. I still do believe that once this extreme stress is past I will have more control, but who knows? Will the triggers of everyday life be a danger to me? Will I be so shaky that I won't be able to rebuild the security that I need to stop worrying about it? A lot of people can't hold a job because of this illness...

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you dex ((((((((((((((((((dex))))))))))))))))))

Love,
Fuzzy

((((((((((((Dexter))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((((dex))))))))))))))))))))))))) I'm sorry. I understand how once shaken, fragility seems to stay. Is there anybody in your support group has any suggestion?

I don't live in the U.S. so I don't know what's available. Maybe the unemployment or other governmental department can give you some ideas.

I hope things will go well for you, regarding your house.
Big hugs.

To tell you the truth, I don't even remember if that was a question (you asked me if I checked the "yes" box as to whether my illness was work related.)If that was a question she asked me I probably would have said no, because my problem at the time was "panic disorder." Do you file by phone there or do you have to go into the office and fill out a form? The last time I applied it was all done by phone (very convenient.) But like I said before, I was in the EXACT SAME situation you are and told the person on the phone that from the start and she said I was eligible and I had no problem collecting. If I were you I would go into the office and tell them about my situation, same state, less than 2 years ago.

Dexter,

If there is anything I've learned in the past year, it is NOT to take any government aid document at face value. When I first applied for food stamps, I got danced around and humiliated pretty good. I would have just slunk away if I had any choice. Now when I receive the 'we're stopping your food stamps because..." letter nearly every month, I just sigh and gird myself for the latest go round. I feel like I earn every single dollar I get in aid, aside from all the years I spent paying into it, just trying to unravel their latest screw up.

A few months ago I got a letter saying they were reducing my allotment, because there was a change in income. There wasn't, I don't have any income aside from what relatives have been loaning me pending (if) SSDI coming through. My rent went up so I was loaned 15$ more a month. I requested a state hearing and got a phone call from a worker, I explained the difference to her and she said, 'Oh ok, I see it now. Based on this, you really don't need to come for the hearing' She sent me a form for a conditional withdrawal of the hearing request. I was supposed to get a revised income/allotment statement within 30 days. It never showed up. I needed it to apply for reduced utilities. So on Friday (that must have been the day for screwed up 'official' mail, huh? I got one from the DMV as well) I was happy for once that there was a letter from them. At last. Nope. Nope. Nope. It was 'we're stopping your food stamps because you never showed up for your hearing and failed to provide income information'. The kicker is: the second page is a printout of my supposed income and etc. My name is on it, but the figures have nothing to do with me. They are for someone who gets child support, has employment and self employment income and a much higher food stamp allotment than I do. Whaaaaaaat? So my anxiety level is back up to the roof, I have to stay up in my chair tonight so I can start early in the morning what usually ends up being several days of trying to get someone to even pick up the phone much less be the person I need to speak to.

I am hesitant to completely dis the people who work in these social services agencies, but both the culture of the place I am dealing with and the procedural inefficiency I see amazes me. It isn't like the workers are doing anything particularly wrong (though there are a few I have encountered that I'd cheerfully see pilloried), and I don't expect deeply felt empathy from them, it's the way that they go about it. When notes are scrawled and stapled to files and no one seems to have the same grasp of the rules and laws, and procedures seem so clumsy and arcane; no wonder more than half the time the problem turns out to be that they mislaid the proper paperwork.

Ironically, looking for some guidance re: social services and how to navigate them without my head exploding is how I found this forum a few month ago. I lurked for a long while and registered a month or two ago and only last week got the courage to post. You guys do good work here.

So-Dex, my advice is: 1. Just keep punching redial on your phone until you reach the right person 2. Don't take no for an answer. Just politely keep after them. 3. Try to reach the worker who gave the 'yes' answer to elgibility. 4. Stress that you didn't understand the 'work-related' question. From what I have read of your posts, if not directly causative, it was very much was work related.

You are a smart person capable of sophisticated metaphor and analogy. Don't assume that these workers are. (Many may be, but not in relation to their jobs) In other words don't split hairs. If I were to encounter that question, this is what would go through my mind relating to my situation: depression and anxiety are illnesses, situational specifics can exacerbate them-- so even though I was in a situation at work where everything possible was done to drive me around the bend- it was [i]my[i] susceptibility that sent me around the bend.-- therefore 'No' is the appropriate answer. Wrong. I see too many shades of grey and with this kind of stuff, I've learned you need to keep it black and white and keep the complicated thinking out of it.

I hope this is of some help and best to you.