grisly question (likely trigger)

Well, it's been an interesting day at work.

Our office basically is one giant open room, split up by dividers instead of walls. Everybody can hear you on the phone, etc.

Around 10:30 this morning, I heard one of my co-workers take a phone call. First she sounded shocked, then she started crying hysterically. It turns out her brother-in-law killed himself this morning.

This happens to me all the time with hearing about self-injurious behavior -- if I hear somebody talk about it, for a while it increases my urge to do it, whether I'm really that far gone or not. But lately I have been pretty darn depressed -- and hearing about Mary's BIL, while horrible, also made me think, even if briefly, "Hey! That's a possible way out!"

I am NOWHERE NEAR suicidally depressed right now -- been there once this year and have no desire to go back, and this is only the beginning of an episode, not the end. But how twisted do I have to be to consider the option after hearing somebody's misfortune?

In the newspaper biz, this is why, in obituaries, we don't list the method of death for suicides, or even attribute the death to suicide unless it's been confirmed by the police or medical examiner. Too many people get the idea stuck in their heads after hearing it. I just didn't think I would be one of them. Am I just weird?

Candy

No candy, those of us who are sensitive and mentally unwell (like, who isn't these days??? I wanna know!!) are often affected by someone's suicide. They don't publicize most of them because it does cause an increase in incidences.

And when someone does complete, it tends to sharpen our focus as, maybe it is a way out of this pain???

I was perusing my thoughts (is that possible?) about Chris Reeve... and was that really passive suicide? They say he wanted to live, but... he didn't take care of a pressure sore... he died from the infection... he wouldn't take time to take care of himself... aw gee... and to us, he had so much to give... and we then look at ourselves... and question our own worth...

It is good to hear you are not "there" right now... if you are able, without giving up any of your own safety, you might at some point be able to help your co worker understand some of the feelings behind the desperation... 3rd person, of course.

How do you know the sore was untreated?

I heard it was heart failure... Also, that he knew it was coming because his health had deteriorated so badly in recent months.

Ah, the death of Superman!

Yeah candybear...I get that too. You're not weird...unless we both are ... I don't know why it happens...but yeah...even now, when I haven't cut for months, and don't really think about it anymore...if I read about SI, or hear somebody talk about it, I consider doing it, it gives me an urge to do it...and when somebody talks about suicide, or I read up about it (I am still a little too obsessed about the topic of suicide, even though I don't want to kill myself anymore), I imagine killing myself.

Not too good...

EDIT: I see it has labelled this post as addressed to septembermorn...in fact it's addressed to candybear. Sorry