It looks like my DIL is at it again! :(

Thanks, Hun. That's what I'm hoping happens if worse comes to worse. I'm praying that works with the two grandsons I can't see, too.

Thing is, I still worry so much about my youngest son. The character traits he is exhibiting now really disappoint me.

hey September my heart is breaking for all of you, kids and all. Your son has issues but the letter his dad wrote is alienating. I do not know what I would do if I had children who abused their kids. I imagine I would be a loud mouth get in your face keep the kids safe person. But, I am a child of parents who feel I am the worst thing to walk the earth and that doesn't feel good. Nothing I could do was good enough for them. I say this only so you know from a mom's perspective and a child's. Also, we have been in the unfortunate situation of having to accept money from spouse's parents. It is unspoken, we can't pay them with money but would do anything in the world for them. It stinks to need to be bailed out when you are a grown up with big kids etc. But if you or anyone else asked me for something I would do my best to do it because I want to help. I hope this makes sense. Your son is in a stuck place. It is terrible to be stuck between a wife and mother. I have watched my brothers go through that. No easy answers my friend, wish my magic wand was working. Love that son, love those babies and most of all try to love the DIL unconditionally without expectations from the purest place in your heart. It is hard but if you can do it everyone will take a step toward healing.

Thanks, Hun. I know that letter that hubby wrote to John is awful! But like he said, it's been a long time coming. However, it's no excuse to sand bag.

It may seem that he's stuck between me and his wife and maybe he is. My intent, though, was to remind him of his basic values and principles that he learned while growing up. Believe it or not, I DO love his wife! She has a way of getting under you skin and I understand her position of "This is my family and I know what's best for them." I've told her so. I was like that, too, when my family was young. What frustrates me is that she won't accept the fact that I've learned better ways of taking care of myself and know better ways of doing some things. Yes, I know the younger generation is like that. It falls under the heading of "Making My Own Mistakes." Something else she doesn't understand is boundaries. Her family of origin is so dang enmessed! She thinks she can run over us like she does them and them on her and my son! It's not going to happen anymore, though. At this point in time, for me, it's a toss-up; holding my (our) boundaries or the grandkids. I'm between a rock and a hard place! Giving up either one is not acceptable.

YES! YES! My youngest son was at the birthday party today! Autumn had a costume on but I still asked her if she wanted to wear her fairie costume and she got all excited. She had to check it all out and then in a demanding voice told her mother to change her. LOL She can be a snot sometimes, but what a beautiful snot!

When I saw my youngest son, he turned around and gave me a sweet, sweet smile. He stayed by me until they had to leave. Don't know... that kid can throw curve balls at me when I least expect it. But I'm happy now!

My oldest son's imagination ran rampant and he gave his son a birthday party I'm sure he wished for all of his growing up years. They had a block party and there were all kinds of games for the kids, a pony to ride and all the houses were decorated up for Halloween. My son made his own decorations. One of the characters he made was Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas. He was soooooo cute! LOL I don't know where he got the manequins but damn, were they ugly and scary!! They had one placed at each drive way.

It was kinda freaky but it made me happy knowing that all of that had come from my son's creative mind. It was like I was living the dreams he had told me about as a young boy. Everything was SO Him!

Has anyone heard of Captain Snacks? Someone started to tell me about him but something happened and the story didn't get finished. Later I caught a snippet of a conversation about the guy. He goes around with this gun type thing and shoots out snacks. Right after the pinata got broken he came out with a cannon the size of a yard blower. I don't know how, but they attached a large bucket and filled it up with "snacks." (candy corn, pop corn, something else small like that). Captain Snacks would ask the kids if they were having fun an no matter how loud they answered he'd say "I can't heeeeer you!" Then he'd ask them if they were ready for snacks. Again, the same thing and he'd shoot "snacks" out of this contraption. At the very end, my son dumped huge bags of these "snacks" into this cannon and for the last, he dumped a 5 lb bag of powdered sugar into it. Mercy, what a cloud it sent up! The kids (and some parents) just stood around and let it rain all this stuff on them. You know? My son has some pretty strange friends. LOL Sadistic brat! LOL He about died laughing when a couple of people started choking on the powdered sugar. They didn't choke bad, though.

Oh... one thing I did find out because my son told me. Captain Snacks is his partner, the man that runs their New York office. It's scary to think that there's someone else out there with the same twisted mind my son has! LOL

So glad that you had a good time. Sounds fun!

It really was! At least the tension of the last few weeks is gone for the time being. It's doubtfull that I'll see any change in my youngest son any time soon. Don't know what hubby is going to do when he gets back. It would be like him to just "wait and see," leaving it up to me to ask John over or probably even waiting to see what happens for Thanksgiving. I'll cross that bridge when hubby gets home. For now, I've had enough stress so I'm going to enjoy the knowledge that John and I are okay. When I talked to hubby yesterday, he asked about John. I told him how it was at the party and he said "You two just can't stay mad at each other." I don't know how true that is, but we love each other in spite of everything. I'm gonna get all teary here, so I'm going to stop.

((((Sis Tomi)))))
I am so glad that the family "function" went well. It is about time that you got some good joy in your life. Just hang tight with the situation with your son and you DIL I am sure that somehow and someway it will turn out ok. Sometimes people just do not do what is right..for whatever reason. I hope that you are well.

Jessica

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jessica}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thanks, Darlin'! It sure has eased the tension and disappointment I'd been feeling. There's a few things I really feel good about that happened and DIDN'T happen!

Something happened that could really have set me off, but later I realized that I didn't even pay attention to it. It's a first for me! YAY, me!!