I know the truth

Truth is no one feels the pain I have inside of me, all I try to do is hide it, I just wish I could hide it from myself, I am tried of crying, it isn't enough, I guess I just need to live with how I am and who I am- I will always be this way, I see no relief, I can not even think about the future, I think of things in present( what is happening at this moment) I just wish someone out there IRL would understand how I feel inside, I am so sad and I have no one to cry to. I am just rambling do not feel like you have respond, after all who am I, not sure anymore.

(((Purplebutterfly)))

I don't think anyone can know the truth of what will happen in the future. I'm sorry you are not getting much support in real life. I know what it is like to be depressed. Depression can tell us lies - That things will never change or get better, things will and do change and do get better. Hang on to the fact that you cannot predict the future, hold on to the hope that things will change. Hang in there.

((((((((((( purplebutterfly )))))))))))

You are right, no one knows or can feel your emotions. The feeling of helplessness and hopelessness is hard to shake.
Something that has helped me when I am down. Everyday, find something, anything that will bring a smile to your face... if just for a second. A past memory, an item you like, a comedy show, a long hot bath. Pamper yourself. Change your environment for an hour. Go outside, go to a park, window shop, visit a pet store. Help someone else in need, the good feeling carries with you for a long while. Write down on a piece of paper good things about yourself. What do you like about you, what good things have others said about you. Tell someone else how wonderful they are and do it with a smile. Watch them return a compliment.
The more positive thoughts you have, the more things will go your way. The negative energy you project attracts more negative in your life. This is what make bad things happen. Don't look back at the past, the present: Don't dwell on the problem, but look for a solution or something that can lessen the situation. When you have ideas, they become plans for the future.
Go to the video store and rent "The Secret" or buy the book. It worked wonders for me through my divorce. The more happy I became, the sooner life changed for the positive. My life by far is not perfect and I have massive issues with my ex-spouse, but I don't let it get me down anymore. It's amazing and surprising how your life will change. Can't hurt to try right?

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pegasus said:

I don't think anyone can know the truth of what will happen in the future. I'm sorry you are not getting much support in real life. I know what it is like to be depressed. Depression can tell us lies - That things will never change or get better, things will and do change and do get better. Hang on to the fact that you cannot predict the future, hold on to the hope that things will change. Hang in there.

((((((((((( purplebutterfly )))))))))))

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(((( purplebutterfly ))))

You are right in that you are unique and only you feel your own feelings. However, there are those who can relate because they've felt similar feelings.

A good therapist will be able to understand you and feel what you feel.

Crying doesn't help, but there's not a thing wrong with crying. Talking with a caring therapist helps, even though that might sound scary and might be slow to come. It's hard to find words when we are overwhelmed. But even when the words don't come easily, the therapeutic relationship can feel so comforting and relieving.

You know something, Im exactly the same. I have never thought about the future, I think its mostly because Im scared of who I will become - whether I will stay with these awful feelings forever, whether it will get worse - I dont know, but it certainly doesnt feel like things will get better, not at this moment in time anyway.

We all wish and pray for someone to talk to - and even tho we might have friends, parents, boyfriends, husbands etc - Its never enough. It just seems that we just have to learn how to speak to ourselves and sort our own problems out, because at the end of the day, we will always feel alone... its just that we forget that we will always be supported by others.

When it comes to the future I always think to myself that if it really seems that BAD now, then it can only get better

Love, babyg xXx

We may not know how your feeling inside, but many can relate to you. Crying is ok to do, and maybe you can see a counselor or find a group that works with depression, you will be surprised how many feel the way you do.
In my group, there are people of all ages, feeling the same way and the things the counselors push are, DRINK WATER, that is a must to drink 4 16oz of water a day, have a protein shortly after you wake up and then 5 small meals a day. Plus take vitamin B and Fish oil with omega to help as well. Doing this they say will help stablize your mood, help with body pain and headaches. I will believe it when it happens to me!

So keep posting and I'm sending you a thousand hugs to help you get through the day.

hugs a thousand times!

See if this is close to the way you are feeling. I wrote it awhile back but the basic theme keeps playing over and over in my head.

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Imagine a sorrow so deep you will never find the bottom. An aching in your heart that echoes through your entire being. Disillusioned, discouraged and unable to cope with the everyday tasks of life. Fighting demons even wizards like Harry Potter can’t conquer. I’m tired of life; I’m tired of living.

At this moment in time, I have no feelings at all. No love, no hate, no sorrow, no happiness – nothing. No more tears, no more feelings. Death is even easier now. I feel no regret, no remorse for any sadness I might cause.

Right now there is a hollow emptiness that makes death no different than life.

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The unbearable pain is so hard to explain to others. What we don't realize is that others are going though the agony too.

Many here feel as you and we try to support each other as best a possible.


Be kind to yourself. We here to offer support.

finding a therapist is important when our problems have gotten away from our management.

this may be ideal for you, someone to discuss your issues with and help organize your life (for the time being) and help you also by having kowledge of the resourses available to you for now, and in the future, as you make goals.

i found (yes i've had my own horrible heartache and loss in my early 20's) that having a IRL support system helped me slowly get grounded, find solutions, and work towards regaining control of my life (in spite of what the circumstances around me dictated) ... and it worked. I just had to be willing to listen and try things in a new and improved way.

the biggest surprise is, that when things get together with the aide of professional help, i became the person i always was deep down inside me. like a flower, i bloomed. there still were hard roads ahead, but nothing compared to where i first started from. everything has been better - because i was willing to learn, and anything to find "relief" from the pain - was my main motivator.

peace and comfort,
nightbird

Reurplebutterfly
supporting you, thinking of you, praying for you, loving you all the way...

some people can accept the fact there may be no change in life i dont understand how i know i couldnt i hope that further in to your life there will be great happiness for you